Men and women are wired differently. And this rule is no exception in the department of love. Therefore, women also fall in love differently than men. But, what are these unique differences that set them apart? Psych2Go shares with you 5 ways women fall in love:

1. She needs to get to know you as a person.

While this is true for both men and women, women have a greater need to build memories with someone first before falling in love with them. Men, on the other hand, need the initial attraction first. Whereas, women can learn to fall in love overtime by getting to know someone on a deeper level.

There have definitely been times when I wasn’t initially attracted to someone, but as I got to know them overtime, my attraction for them grew. From my own experience, I’ve had stronger feelings for people developed in this manner than when I am initially physically attracted to someone, because that quickly fades once I actually get to know them better. Looks can only go so far, because we’re all bound to grow old. It’s the personality that ultimately plays as the driving fuel for anything real and long-lasting.

2. She needs to know how you think.

With estrogen known as the female sex hormone, it is also linked to memories, learning abstract concepts, and webbed thinking. It’s all about stimulating the brain. She needs to know that you’re capable of logic and deep thoughts.

While it’s great to bond on dates over fun activities, what often attracts me the most is someone’s way of thinking. Do we have similar perspectives on life? Is he more logical-oriented or artistically inclined? Does his thinking challenge me to broaden my own? Intelligence is important, and while I don’t necessarily seek a partner that has the answers to all of my questions, I need to know I can be with someone who is willing to explore life’s philosophies with me.

3. She needs to know that you’re a good conversationalist.

This is completely subjective, because good conversation mean something different to everyone. Some people like talking about everyday concrete matters, while others like discussing the hypothetical what-if’s. Regardless, women need to know that they can engage in conversations with someone in a natural manner. There’s nothing worse than laughing over someone’s jokes just to be polite or dancing around subjects that can’t be talked about comfortably and openly.

I rely on good verbal skills when getting to know someone on a deeper level. It’s through the best conversations that I feel the most intimate with someone. But, that’s not to say I don’t rely on silence, either, because I think it’s equally important to be comfortable with someone without always talking. I tend to be attracted to people who not only engage with me in good banter and debates, but one who can use words to teach me things without coming off as being arrogant.

4. She needs to know that you’re reliable.

Since women are biologically programmed to be the child bearers, they understand that if they get pregnant, their lives will be affected first and foremost in regards to the consequence of re-prioritizing their responsibilities. Therefore, women are more selective with who they choose as a partner for survival purposes. They need to know that the person they’re with is reliable and can provide for the family if the situation calls for it in the future.

5. She needs to know that she can be herself in front of you.

While this pertains to both sexes, it doesn’t make it any less true or significant when women try to determine whether or not they’re falling in love. Vulnerability is an important aspect to having genuine feelings for someone. She needs to know that she can be herself in front of you, which means taking all of the good with the bad, too.

I’m notorious for building walls. The person I’m dating pointed it out to me. I said, “But, I’m comfortable around you. I don’t build walls between you and I.”

He said, “It’s not that I’m concerned about. I know you’re comfortable around me. It’s the walls you build around you.”

Sometimes, I think he knows me more than I know myself, and he doesn’t let me get away with living life behind those walls. In a lot of ways, he’s right, no matter how much I didn’t want to initially admit it. I respect him a lot for telling me, because now it means the real work kicks in. And the fact that he wants to stick around for that? That part changed what I thought wasn’t possible for a while there.

Do you agree? Leave a comment down below!

 

References:

Fisher, H. (2010). Why Him? Why Her? New York, NY: Henry Holt and Company.

Catherine Huang
Catherine Huang graduated from the University of Rhode Island with a BA in English. She has a penchant for storytelling, ramen, and psychology. Catherine is a writer for Psych2Go and looks forward to reaching out to its growing community, hoping to encourage others to tap into self-examination and confront life's challenges head on with the most difficult questions.

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