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8 Methods An Extrovert Can Use to Approach An Introvert the Right Way

You might not have noticed them right away, but over time, an introvert has quietly gained your attention and peaked your interest. Except you’re not sure how to approach them without coming off too strong or scaring them off. Whether this introvert is a coworker that you’d like to collaborate more with, a person you wish to befriend, or a love interest you want to court, Psych2Go shares with you 8 methods extroverts can use to approach introverts the right way:

1. Patience is key.

It takes time for introverts to warm up to new faces. It’s best not to make introverts feel pressured to try anything new if they’re not ready yet. They’re cautious and like to observe others first before jumping into the social scene. So, show them that you’re reliable, flexible, and open-minded. That’s how trust is built. If you do this, slowly their walls will come down and they’ll let you in.

2. Ask and never assume.

Introverts tend to listen more often than they speak. It would be nice to be asked questions, so conversations aren’t always so one-sided and focused merely on one person. This is especially important if you’ve always considered yourself the center of attention, so be mindful of how much you’re dominating the conversation. It’s also best not to assume things about the introvert you’re conversing with unless they have directly told you the truth otherwise. It’s tempting to jump to conclusions when introverts often like to hold back on revealing everything all at once, but that won’t help the both of you get off to a good start.

3. Be respectful of their space bubble and boundaries.

Don’t take it personally if the introvert you want to approach needs to be alone for a while. It’s how they recharge. Be mindful of the time limits they set for socializing and don’t cross those boundaries. It’s important to remain respectful.

4. Invite them out to a small casual get-together.

Don’t start off by inviting an introvert out to a large party or a place where there’s a lot of external stimuli. Introverts are sensitive to details in the outside world and it’ll be overwhelming for them to adjust to. Start off with comfortable and casual. It’s a great way to break the ice and get to know each other better instead of being distracted by loud external factors.

5. Show genuine interest in who they are as individuals.

If you want to form a closer bond with them, let them know that you’re actually interested in getting to know who they are. Something about them caught your eye in the first place (otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article and seeking advice!). Be honest and let them know what drew you towards them. Introverts value authenticity and this can help you have meaningful conversations that skip over the small talk. Don’t be afraid to ask them about their dreams, hobbies, and what they’re passionate about.

6. Learn what their preferred communication methods are with staying in touch.

Every introvert is different. Some love to stay connected through the web, because it gives them a chance to express all their thoughts and ideas more easily. Whereas others might like to retreat from the social media realm and stick to basic texting or email. If you want to keep in touch with them, it’s important to learn what their preferred methods of communication are.

7. Don’t ignore the important discussions.

Since introverts tend to internalize a lot of their thoughts and feelings, problems can easily get swept underneath the rug. It’s crucial not to avoid the important discussions, no matter how difficult or awkward they may be. If something needs to be talked about and resolved, you have to let them know, especially if it’s something that makes the both of you feel uncomfortable. Neglecting to talk about these things will only stretch the issue over time.

8. Learn how to compromise.

This means meeting somewhere in the middle where not only their needs are being met, but yours, too. Everyone matters. It’s impossible for things to be 50/50 all the time, but it’s important to know that both of you are pulling in your weight and effort to making things work out, whether it’s over a business project, your friendship, or relationship. Compromise is a big word, but so are the rewards that come from it when it’s achieved.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Have these methods worked for you? Leave a comment down below!

Catherine Huang
Catherine Huang graduated from the University of Rhode Island with a BA in English. She has a penchant for storytelling, ramen, and psychology. Catherine is a writer for Psych2Go and looks forward to reaching out to its growing community, hoping to encourage others to tap into self-examination and confront life's challenges head on with the most difficult questions.

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