Educated Women in the Dating World
Elitedaily.com posted an article titled: “Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single” a few days ago. At first glance, I could not help but to be somewhat appalled by the title. One excerpt from the article is:
“If a woman seems too smart or accomplished, she’s typecast as “non-dating material.” If she’s witty and competitive, she’s viewed as challenging and overbearing. Society has come to teach women that being funny and smart won’t get you dates, but empty heads and shallow hearts.”
The author was emphasizing how difficult it is for highly intelligent women to date as most men want a partner who is a lot lower intelligently, socially and career-wise. Her attitude was semi-accusatory of society, claiming that they have made dumb women more desirable than intelligent women.
Although the author expressed sadness and concern for the educated woman in this world, I couldn’t help but to pick up an odd sense from this article. It was somewhat indirectly discouraging women to NOT be brainy.
First off, I don’t disagree with the whole ideology of the article; I strongly agree with it actually. I completely agree that smarter women have difficulty in the dating world. Why? Because intellectual women have higher standards. For the most part, the brighter a woman’s brain is, the more wealth, power and social ranking she will have. That’s intimidating, isn’t it?
Speaking from my traditional standpoint, I hold a strong belief that men need to feel more educated, wealthier and dominant than their romantic partners. I have witnessed countless of men who fell short in these categories and their marriages were unhappy and unhealthy ones. Men have egos that they need to cater to and if they don’t feel like the “protector” and provider, their self-esteem will be damaged. Now, this does not go for all men, but it definitely counts for a majority of them (just ask psychology of relationships).
Now, catch this: My parents informed me from a young age to not pursue a career that would make me “too rich” because that would lower my dating pool. They said that if I were to make $250,000 a year, not many men will be up to that “standard.”
Think about it: how foolish would it be for a woman to hinder herself of a certain career/education/major simply due to the fact that it will lower her dating pool? Women should never lower their standards for themselves to better equip the dating world (unless you expect a prince charming to cater to your every need and wish, then never mind). If a woman desires to become a surgeon, go for it. If a woman desires to be a CEO of a top accounting firm, go for it. If a woman desires a career in petroleum engineering, go for it. Possessing my cheerleader mentality, I strongly feel women shouldn’t short-cut their educational or career journey, whatever that may be.
I’m a strong advocate of seeking new found knowledge; It’s not only a means for a career but, rather, it’s probably the best way to develop high critical thinking skills-something that’s highly beneficial to all aspects of life.
I didn’t enter college with the mindset of my degree being nothing but for me to develop a career. Education, to me, is a means to foster one’s potential, explore new territory and develop those skills to better tackle real-life situations. As awful as it sounds…there is a clear distinction between the critical thinking levels of someone who is educated and someone who is not.
Please don’t assume my reference of education to the one gained solely through a school curriculum. I have met a man with a degree in criminal justice that I wouldn’t label smart and I have met a UCLA drop-out who turned himself into an intelligent, successful VP of a company. Not everyone who attends college leaves intelligent and not everyone who didn’t attend college should be labeled unintelligent.
Intellect is gained through various sources: traveling to a new country, reading a philosophy book, going through a horrendous event, etc. Intelligence is gained through nearly every situation and any situation-if one has the ability to walk away from every situation with new found wisdom.
However, although knowledge can be acquired everywhere, school is one of the best, if not the best, form of learning; it greatly develops the skills necessary to learn elsewhere. If it were not for science class, I would be incapable of comprehending why rain turns into hail. If it were not for annotating To Kill a Mockingbird, I would be incapable of critically analyzing every movie I watch now. If it were not for my psychology courses, I would be incapable of deeply observing and reading others.
If a fortune teller were to inform me that I would never be a career woman and instead, for sees me being a housewife forever…would I still pursue my college journey or quit altogether now? Would you quit or instead, not let the future sighting phase you?
For myself, I would continue to learn, study and ask questions like i’ve always been doing. Regardless of whether or not I utilize my degree with a future career, I would nonetheless continue to pursue. A college degree is NEVER useless because those years of yearning for knowledge would’ve only made me a better mother, wife, sister, daughter and person overall (or so, I hope). I would be better equip to understand complex situations and how to tackle them than I would be if I did not pursue an education.
The most unfortunate quality I see in an individual is when they stop making an effort to learn. When they no longer care to inform themselves of cultural happenings around the world, stop wondering why things occur the way they do and stop trying to better themselves. We’re given a mind for a reason and for us to simply not continue to foster it is a shameful quality.
Go out there: learn, explore and continue to educate yourself. Be confident enough in your potential and yearn to reach it and exceed it.