RelationshipRelationships

Finding Rejuvenation & Bliss with being Single  

Being single is pretty flipping rad ;)

Chowing down on a Vietnamese rice dish, my father (for the millionth time) expressed that he desires me to date his friend’s son, who’s a “promising and perfect” Vietnamese American Dentist.

Why do I keep saying “no” to my Dad’s matchmaking efforts? I mean, I’ve been single for a year now…is it time to get back into the dating game?

Skedaddle back to 2014: while on a date, I was asked: “What’s your story? Tell me about yourself”. Eh…my story was majorly lacking (yikes..I probably bored the poor fella out of his mind).

Three years later, my story now exists. It’s a very extensive and intriguing one, too. It isn’t necessarily the 3 years passing that made my story more captivating…

What is it then?

It’s being single for the past year or, more so, all the goals I brushed aside for so long, but now have time to concentrate on.  

Being single is pretty flipping rad 😉

If you’re having the blues due to a recent breakup or feeling insecure about being single, here are tips I currently am utilizing to enjoy my singlehood (pictures below are real pictures of my life). 

Sweating it up – – I got back into outdoor cycling.

Being in a serious monogamous relationship can take up A LOT of time…aka much sacrificing. I admit, I stopped exercising entirely when I was with my ex-boyfriend. Now, i’m an (amateur) outdoor cyclist! I finally dusted off my overpriced mountain bike and am now averaging about 30 miles per week.

Physical activity releases chemicals, like serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, etc., which help alleviate anxiety. When you’re feeling moody, take a dip in the pool, a brisk walk in the local park or put those running shoes to use! Find an exercising activity YOU LIKE (not one that you hate, but do it anyway because it burns the most calories, etc.).

Childhood hobbies “no one has time for” – painting and reading.

After being discharged from the hospital two months ago, I knew I needed to find healthy coping mechanism skills. Being on a college student budget, that was a little difficult. However, I decided I wanted to start painting again and reading books I “half-finished”.

I bought inexpensive wooden objects (like picture frames, blank wooden canvases, etc.)  from Target, Walmart and the local arts & crafts stores. Painting is a great way to alleviate frustration and stress! Also, depending on what color you’re utilizing to paint, each color provides a different indirect “influence” to your brain. For example, red means love/excitement, yellow means happiness, and white means purity.

Challenge yourself. Overcome your fears – – wearing color and revisiting past trauma locations.

While painting these wooden picture frames and canvases, I struggled to purchase colorful paint. Everyone who knows me knows I love black and gray, so painting a picture frame purple and a blank canvas white was difficult for me. Also, I wore a pink shirt on Friday and one of my friends said: “Hey you’re not wearing all black today!”

Also, since the gym is triggering to my history of eating disorders, I decided to purchase personal training so I can force myself to love the gym again, but with correct professional supervision.

Being a newbie to singlehood took much discipline. However, I finally feel grateful for the individual I am when I’m alone. Just the plain old fashion me with no dangling strings (of men). Love yourself, not just a version of you plus one (aka with a boyfriend/girlfriend).

Thoughts? Share your stories and comments below!

First picture credit: Blum, B. (2013, October 24). The 10 Single Girl Commandments. Retrieved September 03, 2017, from https://thoughtcatalog.com/briana-blum/2013/10/the-10-single-girl-commandments/

Edited by Viveca Shearin

Chrissy
Chrissy, a 24 year old Vietnamese American residing in California, is wrapping up her B.S. in Organizational Leadership, emphasis in Business Psychology. This Myers Brigg "ENTJ" has taken a variety of psychology courses for pure enjoyment: Child Growth and Development, Human Resources Management, Human Sexuality, etc. When not observing and analyzing the fascinating doings of mankind, Chrissy is magnified to her mountain bike, averaging about 40 miles per week! This ultra girly-girl can also be found glamming herself up at the nail salon or makeup store.

2 Comments

  1. Being single really can be “flipping rad”! Dr. Bella De Paulo studies single life and has written numerous publications about the health benefits of being single, even if only for a short while. She has an article about exercise rates among the single vs the attached and it complements your first couple of points quite nicely: http://bit.ly/2vFmvPu.

    If it’s not too personal, what’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in pursuit of rejuvenation and bliss through single life? How did you overcome it?

    1. Hi Valencia! Thank you so much for the comment and sharing the article! I took a quick look at the article and can definitely comprehend why single people exercise a lot more. When I was in my previous long-term relationship, I spent all my weekends with him and hardly ever exercised. Of course, this isn’t the scenario for every person in a relationship, but being in a relationship can make one so fixated on spending time with that person, that we often neglect ourselves and our own “selfish goals”. What are your thoughts on this?

      Of course it’s not too personal at all! I’m always open to answering questions. Honestly, the biggest challenge i have/am currently facing is how to not be lonely. All my friends are in serious long term relationships now, so a majority of their time is spent with their romantic partners aka it gives me A LOT of free time by myself. I have/had to train myself to not be bored/lonely during all this time and, instead, do activities by myself, instead of waiting for someone to do them with me.

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