The Initial Stages of Dating: Why Didn’t They Respond To Your Text Message?

textingA no brainer: texting definitely plays a huge role in the initial stages of dating-the exchange of common interests, the testing to see if chemistry exists and the setting up of the first few dates.

I’ve seen it happen one too many times- my girlfriends hit me up proclaiming that a guy they were interested in has randomly stopped texting them or never replied back to their text message. Ladies, being the natural over thinkers we are, will be FLOODED with a bunch of thoughts: ““What did I say wrong?” “What did I do wrong?” “Was I not funny enough” “Did he not think I was cute enough?” “Did he meet another girl last night?!?!” “Did he even get the text?!?! Should I resend?” “What’s happening!!!”

Being the lovely girlfriends we all are, we must comfort our gals and give our viewpoint on why the fella never replied back to their message (aka analyze the date, his texting style, his personality, her personality, her texting style, etc.).

Now, it’s vital that we all learn how to handle a situation like this gracefully. If someone doesn’t respond to your text and you’re almost certain that they’ve read it and chose to ignore it, do not come off clingy, desperate  and insecure. As offensive as it might be to feel rejected, sometimes we just have to accept the fact that they chose to not respond and move on with our lives.

A writer on a newmode.com was explaining to a reader who submitted the typical “Why did he stop responding to my texts/lose interest in our texts?” and his response was as follow:

“…one of the best things you can do is make sure that you have a full, enjoyable, fun life [when you have this, you] won’t fall into the trap of obsessing when that next text is going to come or if he called or not.  You’ll be too busy enjoying the rest of your life. The beginning stages of a relationship are best served as “icing on the cake” rather than “the cake itself”.  Make your life your focus and it will make his erratic texting behaviors much more tolerable…don’t take a man’s texting habits personally.  That is a recipe for disaster if you do…”

Although we should avoid over thinking the no reply we received, here is a list of the common reasons why people don’t reply to a text message (this can apply both to women and men). Hopefully this will aid readers in realizing it’s not always a personal offense.

1)      The person doesn’t have a high enough interest in conversing with you.

2)      They are returning the style that you utilized when you ignored one of their text messages.

3)      You’re a boring texter- they’re tired of trying to spice up the convo and you just reciprocating with boring replies.

4)      It’s a mind game-we all want what we can’t have. If you have yet to receive that reply, you most likely are growing more frustrated with every second passing. This makes us think we want them more, when we really just want that reply.

5)      They’re lazy and don’t care enough about you to reply (you swear, like it takes more than a few seconds of their life).

6)      Their battery dies (most people have access to their charger at least once a day so unless they misplaced their charger or were away from it for a while, there’s no way they could utilize this excuse for a text sent days/weeks ago).

7)      They’re working individuals who are focused on performing their task (this is a legit, good reason). Same applies for studying or at school.

8)      They misplaced all their contacts and did not back up their iPhone on iCloud to resync all their contacts. They might not recognize your number and therefore, afraid to reply.

9)      They’re upset with you but choose not to reply because they don’t want to be confrontational.

10)   They might be too sick or exhausted to carry a good texting convo right now.

Has anyone ever intensely waited at their phone hoping for that one text message they never received? Did you take personal offense to it or did you quickly brush it off? What are a few other reasons you might assume someone would ignore a text?






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