Have you ever been in a situation where you asked someone a question and instantly regretted it? OR have you been in a situation where someone asked you a question and you felt uncomfortable and wished that they didn’t?
Inquisitiveness about the background and hobbies of someone we’re just starting to know—a friend, a business acquaintance, a romantic partner—is a good and natural aspect of that process. But that doesn’t imply you should ask any question that comes to mind.
Here are 10 questions you shouldn’t ask anyone.
Why aren’t you married?
Statistically, If the individual you’re asking is in his or her 30s or 40s and beyond, there’s a strong probability he or she has already been married and is now divorced. If that’s the case, the person may have recently ended their marriage and be emotionally distraught, making this question both intrusive and potentially upsetting. Many places will not even allow homosexual couples to marry legally, and while the couples may not have made that decision for themselves, it may still be sensitive. Finally, who is to say that someone who isn’t married or has never been married believes in the institution in the first place?
If the respondent believes marriage is little more than a legal contract, you’ll get along rant on how useless it is in answer to your question—and you’ll deserve it for poking around in the first place.
“Why did you drop out of school” OR “Why didn’t you go to college?”
This may not be the ideal question considering that college isn’t for everyone, and it’s not always even available to everyone. This sometimes comes out as condescending, harsh, and intrusive, especially as college is increasingly considered as the only ticket to success in society.
“Why are you single?”
There’s no way to respond to this question without being arrogant, insecure, or messed up in some way. What are you expecting them to say, exactly? Even if it’s meant to be polite, it never comes off that way.
“Don’t you know that’s bad for you?”
Pregnant women, smokers, and anyone who is overweight are the most common targets for questions like these. What another individual does to their body, for the most part, has no bearing on you. Unless they’ve been living under a rock for the entirety of their lives, they already know what they’re doing is “unhealthy,” and your judgment disguised as compassion isn’t helping. They probably don’t care and don’t want to know. You’re not saving lives, and chances are you’ve done something similar at some point in your life.
“Why don’t you live in a better house/area?”
It’s hard to believe, but I have heard this multiple times from guests. Well, if they had more money at the time, they would have chosen a better neighborhood. However, they didn’t, and you made me feel bad for it.
“Why can’t you afford this?”
This is always a setback for people who are dealing with financial difficulties. It’s not only impolite, but it’s also a surefire method to ensure that whoever you asked will never want to buy you anything again.
“Why can’t you gain/lose weight?”
Asking someone questions about their appearance is never a good idea. The person might already have noticed it and is probably working on it already. Pointing it out might increase problems of self-esteem and would make them feel worse.
Are you pregnant?
You shouldn’t have to wonder why it’s not a good idea to ask a woman any direct weight-related questions because many ladies understate their weight, even on their driver’s license. But, just to be sure, here’s the deal: 1) If a woman is not pregnant but is simply overweight, she may already be dealing with low self-esteem or bad health, so blaming her weight on pregnancy is only adding insult to injury.2) Worse, if a woman has visible abdominal bloating, it could be a sign of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (a side effect of certain fertility drugs) or the result of in vitro fertilization—which means she’s not only not pregnant, but also unable to conceive a child without medical intervention, in which case asking if she’s pregnant will only draw attention to her. 3) If a lady appears to be pregnant, she most often is. But that doesn’t mean she’s ready to tell anyone, let alone an unknown person.
Do you believe in God?
Going to church every Sunday, making a journey to Mecca, practicing yoga regularly, and worshipping at the altar of red wine every weekend are all examples of religion. Whatever someone’s religious—or atheistic or agnostic—inclinations are, the option to communicate them with you should be left to individual discretion and appropriate timing. If you ask a friend, “Do you believe in God?” she might respond no, but she could still be a spiritual person—one who doesn’t feel comfortable sharing her deep inner life with you since your mention of a specific deity would imply your inability to comprehend spirituality beyond organized religion.
How much does your house/rent/car/purse/child’s tuition cost?
This type of question usually achieves little more than establishing a divide between the “haves” and “have nots,” as well as generating animosity and competition within otherwise loving relationships. It is up to individuals to decide how they will spend their money, whether they have earned it through hard work or are squandering a large inheritance or trust fund. And why should you care in the first place? What does it mean to you if a friend tells you she paid $900 for her Louis Vuitton tote? Does it imply she’s wasting her money, or does it indicate you have to acquire one of your own to keep up with the Joneses? In any case, that is a loaded question. Even if your motivations are purely pragmatic—If you’re thinking about enrolling your child in the same school that your friend’s child attends and want to know if you can afford it, it’s not fair to put someone in the position about how much tuition she pays, especially when you can find out that information by checking the school’s website.
Ossiana Tepfenhart. 15 Awkward Questions You Should Never Ask Because They’re None Of Your Business. Retrieved June 4, 2021, from
Annie Tucker Morgan. DON’T GO THERE: SEVEN QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD NEVER ASK. Retrieved June 4, 2021, from