We live in a world where the idea of love is fed by a “happily ever after.” Our perception of what should and should not be is completely skewed by what we have learned in media. The typical pattern of intense passion and emotions, a conflict that makes us “fight” for that God forsaken love and then the resolution of being together forever. Any interests outside of that relationship are seen as immoral and wrong and that we must constrain ourselves for this one and love for the rest of our lives. But is there such a thing as your one and only love? Is it not possible to love more than one soul?
This has resulted in decades of cheating, divorce, resentment, conflicts and a lot of lying. Like Esther Perel, sex and relationship expert says, “Millions of people cannot be pathological”. So, what are we doing wrong then? Is monogamy something unnatural to us that we have in fact accustomed ourselves to for so many decades we cannot find the strength to “undo” it? Is this social construction the very definition of true love now? More and more people are finding healthy relationships inside consensual non-monogamous relationships.
Here are 10 signs you might be experiencing that might mean polyamory is worth a try, exclusively from Psych2Go.
- You have always felt limited and confined in conventional relationships.
Not because something is wrong with that person or your relationship. Quite the opposite in fact. You are very happy and in love with your partner. But there is something that feels restrictive about relationships. Not being able to have any close friendships of the opposite sex, unless it is within appropriate lines. Somehow, all your decisions are being made not as an individual anymore, but in honour of your union. And you can’t help but think… does this come from a place of love, freedom and security? Or does it come from a place of ownership, jealousy and fear?