Have you ever wondered if you’re the friend that everyone gossips about? Maybe you’ve thought you were the “crazy” one in your group of friends.
Here’s a list of signs you might be the toxic friend:
1. You can’t stand being left out from anything.
Friends go to an event and don’t invite you. You feel left out and enraged that they would betray you. This is a sign of insecurity and is off-putting to your friends.
2. You’re constantly in contact with your friends, even when you know they’re busy.
Tagging a friend in a meme and expecting an immediate response is not reasonable. Consistently texting your friends will also become an annoyance and makes you appear needy. Wait a few minutes, maybe even an hour, chances are they will respond to you.
3. You show up unannounced.
If you decide to stop by a friend’s house without telling them it will result in surprise, and could be at a very bad time. Showing up at their work can be just as irritating, as they are on the clock and have to limit personal issues. A simple text that you want to say “hi” is sometimes all it takes.
4. You guilt-trip your friends into getting what you want.
Your friend says she can’t hang out, so you tell her you’ll just sit at home alone. Maybe you ask your friend to put in a good word for you, but they don’t feel comfortable. These are signs you might be playing the friend card too much. Guilt-tripping is manipulation, and it’s not a good quality of a healthy friendship.
5. You flake out on plans.
If your friend committed to spending time with you and you no-show or cancel last minute, that shows them that you don’t value their time. It’s also just a jerk move. Just be honest if you don’t feel like going somewhere or can’t fully commit to an event.
6. You can’t commit to anything unless your friend proposes it first.
You want your friends to decide what to do and where to go, but don’t want to put in any effort yourself to contribute. This adds pressure to your friend and gets old really fast. Make a suggestion or plan something every now and then. Your friends will totally appreciate it.
7. You play mind games with friends to test their loyalty to you.
Telling a friend something another person said about them, just to get them on your side, is very toxic. Also, saying if someone is truly your friend they won’t spend time with a certain person, is just unfair. People have a right to choose who they spend time with, so try not to take it personal.
8. You only want to talk about yourself.
Sure you have a lot to say about yourself, but a conversation has to have two sides. Your friends want to talk about their life just as much as you do. Try to ask them about what’s going on with them, just as often as you update them on your life.
9. You only want your friends to come to you.
Asking your friends to always come to your house can be a turn-off. A friendship is a bit of give and take, and sometimes you have to take one for the team and drive over to their house.
10. You expect your friends to always cover for you.
Whether it’s a tab at the bar or a white lie you told someone, if you’re always asking someone to cover for you they will feel that you’re taking advantage of them. Take some responsibility and maybe cover them for a change.
Do you have any of these signs? If you do, the first thing you should do is to accept it and take action to change and be more self aware. Do not judge yourself, beat yourself up or be ashamed about who you are. Because you are worthy and you are capable of improving being a better version of yourself once you are more aware about your toxic tendencies and insecurities. Sometimes we can be the toxic person in a friendship without really knowing it, but knowing what you’re doing wrong is the first step in making it right!