Ever find it hard to say no to things even when it makes you feel unhappy and impacts on your physical or mental wellbeing? It is not uncommon that we experience pressures, from peers, family, friends or society, for us to conform to their wishes even if it goes against what we believe in or what we truly want to do in that situation.
Or maybe you are the type of person, like me, who is naturally is very much a ‘yes’ person and finds it hard to say ‘no’ to anything? This is mainly due to FOMO (or Fear of Missing Out). As a result, I end up burning out and I recognise that it is not healthy to do that to myself. It is important for us to know when we need to say ‘no’ to things in order to protect our own wellbeing.
This article is purely for educational purposes only and is not to give advice on what you should or should not do. Psych2Go promotes the freedom to make your own decisions if you feel like you may be in any of these situations.
Here are some suggestions for things you should say no to.
Say No To Toxic People
How many times have we surrounded ourselves with negative or toxic people who we know aren’t good for us? You are perfectly within your right to say no to anybody who causes you any kind of distress or unhappiness. Toxicity breeds negativity – it’s like a virus and will spread if you don’t stand your ground and challenge these toxic people in your life. Rob Tew once said “It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around when you remove toxic people from your life.” Making more time for people who don’t bring you down, who are positive and bring energy into your life, will allow you to say no to toxic people in the future.
Say No To People Who Make You Feel Unsafe
Ever felt scared or anxious around certain people and feel too nervous to say anything to them or to walk away? People who put you into a negative emotional state where you feel scared for your own wellbeing, are not the type of people you want to surround yourself with. You may feel an obligation to say ‘yes’ to these people because you are concerned about what will happen if you don’t. Everybody has the right to feel safe and not living on the edge where they could fall off at any given moment. Safety is absolutely key and you are entitled to feel secure with anybody who you chose to let into your life.
Say No To People Who Disregard Your Emotional Wellbeing and Feelings
If you are feeling that your feelings don’t matter or aren’t valued by others, then you can say ‘no’ to having these people in your life. You deserve to have the freedom to express your emotions as a human being and if people do not value that, then they do not value you, and forfeit the right to be part of your life.
Say No To Situations That Make You Feel Unwanted
Have you ever experienced abandonment in your life, especially during childhood? When you’re unable to properly process this trauma, these experiences would become the deepest fundamental beliefs that you have about yourself on an unconscious level. Now, it’s time to become more aware of this! Whenever you’re in a situation that makes you feel abandon or unwanted, it’s time to make a conscious decision to remove yourself from it. You’re better off without them. After all, you are worthy and you deserve so much better!
Say No To Negative Self-talk
It is all too easy to spiral that “coulda, woulda, shoulda” self-loathing self-talk when we come to thinking about ourselves. Putting ourselves down is not going to fix the problem. Be reflective rather than critical. Think about the things you did well and the things you can develop on. This can be easier said that done, but reframe your mind and try and think more positively. Challenge your own negative thoughts by being attentive to the way you talk to yourself (especially your tone), as you would with anyone whom you care about.
Say No To Comparing Yourself To Other People
Oscar Wilde once quoted “Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.” Don’t waste time comparing things that don’t compare. Recognise the differences between yourself and others and focus on your passions, goals, and self-improvement rather than obsessing about what other people are doing.
Say No To Bad Partners
Some relationships do not always fit together and that is just part of life. If you are not happy in a relationship, there is no obligation to stay in it. Ask yourself if you communicate in a healthy way with a potential partner before saying ‘yes’ to them. Clarify their motives from the beginning and explore if you vibe well together. There is nothing more unsettling than bad energy in a relationship and you can say ‘no’ if you don’t feel like it is going to work.
Say No To Resisting Growth and Healing
How many times have you let opportunities slip away because you lacked self belief? You are your own masterpiece and you should own every aspect of who you are. Say ‘yes’ to opportunities which present personal growth or development. Take risks rather than saying ‘no’ because you are scared. Taking time out to work on yourself and to heal yourself is not a sign of weakness. Be brave and believe in yourself.
Say No To Waiting Needlessly
Found yourself waiting around for things which never come to light? You can’t recover or recycle wasted time. The two hours spent waiting and brewing frustration are two hours of your life that you’ll never get back. Channel your energy into valued time whilst you are waiting – meditate, engage in a mindful practice, write, read a book or even talk a walk. Time is precious and is not something we always feel like we have a lot of, so make it your time.
Say No To Allowing Other People’s Opinions To Determine Your Worth
Have you ever been so obsessed with other people’s opinions of you, you forget your own? No matter what you do, what you say, how you dress, how you look, people will always have an opinion of you. The truth is, According to Marcus Aurelius, everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
Say No To Shrinking Yourself To Fit In
Do you tend to hold on to what’s comfortable even when it’s making you unhappy or when it no longer makes us grow? For example, a toxic friendship, a one-sided relationship, an unfulfilling job, or a bad habit? Staying too long in your comfort zone can convince you that anything outside of it is too foreign or too scary for you to accept. When you force yourself to fit into places your roots have grown past, you’re missing out on the opportunities to grow and to reach your greatest potential.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope you found it insightful! If you have any feedback, please leave a comment in the box below. Learning to say “no” is a skill, and not an easy one at times! Keep practising it. Master it. Say “no” to the right things now and my bet is that you’ll soon be saying “yes” to a clearer mind and a happier life surrounded by more love and light.
Keep safe and look after each other.
Say No: 21 Things To Say No To For a Happier Life. (n.d.). Atelier. Retrieved November 12, 2020, from https://www.awmrealestate.com/journal/say-no-21-things-to-say-no-to-for-a-happier-life