Make friends as an introvert…
You’ve just moved to a new town. Be it for work or a relationship, the small circle you held an established connection with is now far away. And although technology has come a long way, you know you’re still going to need to make real connections in your new location.
But you’re an introvert.
Having limited energy to spend on social interactions can make new relationships feel exhausting. To begin with, it’s all small talk – your kryptonite.
But what if there are ways to make friends that better suit an introvert?
10 Ways to make friends as an introvert
- Utilize your lunch hour.
Sometimes it’s be easier to socialize when you’re already at work, saving your weekends for recharging. Besides, these people chose the same career as you, and chances are you have enough in common to start a conversation over lunch.
- Speak up at school pick-up
Sure, many mum’s avoid getting stuck in endless small talk at the school gate by hiding behind bushes or in their cars (me included!) You’re there every day after all. But if you’re new, it can be an easy way to find friends. There’s a concentrated group with something in common with you, just for a limited time each day. Besides, if you look where you would hide, chances are you’ll stumble across another introverted mum, hiding there already.
- Attend a Local Playgroup
This one is also child related, but getting out of the house when you have littlies is just as important for introverts as it is for the extroverts. Many long-term friendships are forged in playgroups as your babies grow alongside each other. And the short and sweet nature of the regular catch ups, can place natural boundaries around the friendship, keeping it within an introvert’s comfort zone. Start your search here.
- Join a choir
Choir singing provides introverts with a reason to get out of the house that isn’t heavy on conversation. And there’s plenty of research showing that social bonds are naturally formed in a choir setting and that singing in groups benefits your mental health as well – win, win!
- Play team sport/exercise
Plenty of introverts enjoy playing team sports for both fitness and friendship. Go team! And running groups and gyms can be places where friendships grow while you’re busy with an activity other than talking.
- Book clubs/Library activities
Many libraries host book clubs, where conversations are organized and follow a set of guidelines. This can be helpful to the introvert introducing themselves for the first time.
Many community organizations offer opportunities for people to volunteer their time and talents. The best thing about this is you can get to know people while working alongside them, which can be a setting that introverts thrive in.
- Embrace what makes you unique
Modifying your interests to match those of those surround you, can actually hinder your ability to connect in a real way with them. Be honest about what you like and dislike. Honesty and confidence are closely related and being confident is a quality many people find attractive. It can help you make new friends more easily.
- Don’t put it off
Add meeting new people to your list, just as you would with unpacking and connecting your utilities. It’s so much easier to meet you people with the explanation of “I just moved here” than having to explain your hesitation months later…
- Don’t pretend to be extroverted
It may seem like the quickest way to friendship is to fake being very extroverted, and sure, you may make friends very quickly that way. However, introverts are usually interested in deeper friendships, and by being true to yourself, you may make new friends who truly get you, which just might be worth the wait.