3 Things to Text Your Crush to Keep Them Interested

Hey, Psych2Goers! Do you ever find yourself staring at a message from your crush, wondering how to respond? We’ve all been there. But don’t worry – we made this video so that you won’t have to spend your precious time thinking of the perfect text to send them. Get ready to take notes! Today, we’re talking about 3 things you can text your crush to keep them interested based on proven psychological techniques.

1. Reciprocal Self-Disclosure

Think about the last time you had a deep conversation with someone where you learned about them and shared more about yourself. How did you feel afterwards? Did you become closer and more comfortable with them? This process of revealing your intimate thoughts and feelings, and getting someone else to do the same, is called reciprocal self-disclosure. A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin showed that people felt closer to each other when they discussed 36 questions that encouraged reciprocal self-disclosure (Berkeley, 2022). Try asking these questions when you’re texting your crush to keep the conversation going and get them intrigued:

  1. What are you the most grateful for in your life?
  2. If you could change anything about how you were raised, what would it be?
  3. What is your favourite memory?
  4. What does a “perfect day” look like for you?
  5. What does “friendship” mean to you?

2. The Ben Franklin Effect

Have you ever noticed that after helping someone, you feel satisfied with yourself and tend to like them more? When we do a favour for someone, we tend to have more positive feelings towards them. This phenomenon is called the “Ben Franklin Effect.” As you might have guessed, it originated from a quote by Benjamin Franklin: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.” A study published in Human Relations proved that the Ben Franklin Effect was real. Participants tended to like researchers more when the researcher personally asked them for a favour (Changing Minds, 2022).

So, the next time you’re texting your crush, try asking them for a small favour. An easy way to do this is to text them, “Can I get your advice/opinion on something?” Even if you don’t end up taking their advice, they may become more interested after feeling like they helped you. Or if you want to make plans to hangout over text, try asking if they can help you with a task or errand that you can both do together.

3. Similar/Attraction Theory

Have you ever heard the phrase “opposites attract?” Well, there is evidence to suggest that this theory might not always be true. The Similar/Attraction Theory states that we are more attracted to people who are similar to us rather than different. Several studies have shown that people are the most attracted to those who have similar views, especially when it comes to important topics like family life (Robinson, 2022). Of course, you don’t want to be fake or lie to your crush to make yourself seem more like them. But the next time you’re texting them, try bringing more attention to things that you share in common throughout the conversation.

For example, if they share an opinion that you agree with, instead of simply saying, “I agree!” say why you agree and elaborate on your thoughts. You can also send them videos or songs you like that they would also enjoy. This allows them to focus on your similarities, and may make them even more interested in you than they were before!

Final Thoughts

We hope these tips help you the next time you’re texting your crush! Remember that if your crush is the right person for you, just being yourself will be enough to keep them interested. These techniques shouldn’t be used to lie or manipulate your crush into liking you. Rather, they are fun ways to feel closer to them and help you two get to know each other better. Are you going to try these techniques yourself? What’s your go-to conversation starter when you’re texting your crush? Let us know in the comments below!

If you want to learn about more psychology-based relationship tips, don’t forget to hit the like button and subscribe. We are grateful to have you in this community and we truly appreciate your support. Have a great day!


Berkeley. (2022). 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness (Greater Good in Action). Berkeley. https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/36_questions_for_increasing_closeness

Changing Minds. (2022). Ben Franklin Effect. http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/ben_franklin_effect.htm#:%7E:text=Jecker%20and%20Landy%20(1969)%20involved,funds%20and%20was%20running%20short

Robinson, J. (2022). Similarity/Attraction Theory | Encyclopedia.com. Encyclopedia. https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/applied-and-social-sciences-magazines/similarityattraction-theory

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