5 Unhealthy Beliefs That Have Negative Effects On You
In the different phases of our lives, we tend to form friendships or relationships with the people we meet. These friendships or relationships that are short-lived due to various reasons can sometimes result in adverse effects on our mindsets and beliefs in future friendships and relationships. These mindsets and beliefs are built on negativity based on past experiences which will definitely affect future experiences. In this article, I will be covering some beliefs that can hinder your current and future friendships or relationships.
1. I Will Get Replaced Anyway
If you have felt like you have been replaced in a friendship or relationship before, you are not alone. However, having the belief that you will be replaced in future friendships or relationships is not emotionally healthy for you. There will be times when friendships and relationships are strained due to disagreement or other reasons. Many people hold on to this belief due to the fear of similar past experiences repeating itself. However, if possible, you should let go of this belief because you may meet new friends or a special person who appreciates and treasures you.
2. I Am Meant to Be Alone
Many people tell themselves that they are destined to be alone after difficult friendships or failed relationships. If you feel like you are meant to be alone, you are not. In the world we live in, no one is meant to be alone. Every person needs friends or family to coexist with them. This belief of people feeling like they are destined to be alone can sometimes be derived from the difficulty in communicating their thoughts and emotions which can result in feelings of loneliness. Although being alone and being lonely are two different things, they tend to overlap each other.
3. They Do Not Care
Feeling as though your friends do not care about you is a belief that applies more towards current friendships. Adopting this belief can be detrimental to friendships as there is a presence of miscommunication and misunderstanding which could lead to disagreements. At times, our friends may give us the impression that they do not care. However, it may not always be the case. This is because people show care differently and different people have their own definitions of feeling cared for. This belief should be let go because it can create unnecessary mistrust. If you are having this belief, a good thing to do is to communicate your thoughts to friends that you trust.
4. Assuming They Understand You
In a relationship or a friendship, assuming that the other person understands you is not healthy for either party. Assumptions create uncertainty and we may end up creating false scenarios in our minds which may lead to further misunderstanding. Especially in relationships, you should always communicate your thoughts and feelings directly to truly express yourself. Even the most intuitive people are not mind-readers. This belief should be let go as it can create confusion for both parties.
5. I Am Unlovable
This belief is similar to the belief of being destined to be alone. However, this belief relates slightly more towards relationships rather than friendships. During heated arguments and in moments of spite, people often curse at each other that they are unlovable. Some people are convinced that they really are unlovable. This belief should be let go as well because it can make a person feel worthless. This in turn can potentially rob them of the desire to improve themselves. No one is unlovable. If we take the time and effort to improve and love ourselves more, we will realise that we are actually very lovable. We may make wrong choices in relationships at times and that is normal for we are learning. It should not take another person to make us feel lovable. How can we hope to be loved when we do not love ourselves?
In short, these beliefs formed by us will have negative effects on current and future friendships or relationships. It can be rather normal to have these beliefs because our brains are wired to think negatively and it can be a form of a defense mechanism. The important thing to understand is that friendships or relationships can come and go due to different reasons. We should not blame ourselves too much if things do not work out. It can be difficult to open up to new friends or partners due to negative past experiences but we should still do it. The right people will be accepting of our flaws and push us to be better people.