Have you ever wondered about an introverted classmate or colleague? What’s our deal? For those of you who are more extroverted, the aloofness of introverts can seem very mysterious. Luckily, we’re here to share what’s really on our mind. Be warned – we won’t hold back!
Here are five harsh things introverts want you to know.
1) We pretend to care about you
Small talk? Networking? Eww! Casual chats may be invigorating for you, but they’re an annoying chore for us, about as fun as answering telemarketers. Every conversation drains our social battery very quickly, so we only invest in the social interactions that matter the most to us. Every other time, we fake interest to be polite. Don’t take it personally, but we don’t really care about your birthday, your weekend or your pet, and we don’t want to know you better. If we actually want to speak to you, we’ll reach out first.
2) We like writing more than speaking
Why do we often contribute nothing to a discussion, get flustered during unexpected phone calls, or speak like we’re at a loss for words? The thinking style of introverts is not suited for spoken conversations. Talking exhausts and distracts us, which gets in the way of thinking. We don’t think about things by “talking it through”, we think about things by contemplating slowly by ourselves without interruptions. If we want to communicate something meaningful, we’ll do it with a well composed e-mail.
3) We value time alone to get things done
If we don’t thrive on socializing, and we spend lots of time by ourselves at home, what are we actually doing? Our minds are bursting with ideas and projects that we can only play around with when we are in a quiet, safe space away from others. Our possibilities become truly unleashed when we can thrive in isolation, but when others intrude or express interest, that derails our train of thought. If we want to share with you, we’ll do it ourselves.
4) We’re selective about our friends
So far, does it sound like we’re very uncaring people who don’t want any chats or social contact? We’re not as heartless as we might seem! We do appreciate social connections, but only with close friends. Instead of many shallow connections, we value a few deep connections with others whom we feel safe around. It takes time for us to open up and blossom around the right people, so don’t feel offended if we seem guarded. We’ll open up to you gradually if we want to.
5) We don’t need fixing
Ever tried to “help” an introvert, only to be rebuffed? We love the way we are, but we don’t love being judged for it. We’re fine being in contact with a few close friends and we don’t want tips to be more outgoing. We’re fine thriving on our own and we don’t want constant invitations to social events that drain us. We’re fine thinking things through on our own and we don’t want encouragement to speak up. We know you might have good intentions, but the best way to help is to accept us for who we are, and accommodate our way of doing things instead of trying to “fix” us.
So there you have it, five harsh things introverts want you to know.
Has this helped you to understand the mysterious introvert in your life? Let us know in the comments below. And don’t forget to like and share this article if you think it will help someone else.