How many relationships have you been in? Whether you have firsthand experience or are observing relationships around you, everyone can agree dating isn’t easy. It can feel as if no one is right for you at the right time. However, did you know there are tips and things to remember when looking for the right person? Who you meet and how your relationships go may seem random, but it depends a lot on your mindset and behavior. So, before you spend relationship after relationship looking for someone who best suits you, here are 5 secrets to finding the right person for you!
1. Stop looking for “the one”
Do you dream of a picture-perfect relationship? Your significant other will be funny, attractive, and above all perfect for you, right? More often than not, people romanticize both being in a relationship and their significant other. Whether because of movies or social media, many people decide someone isn’t “the one” after one fight or when the relationship doesn’t fit their high standards. In reality, people and relationships are never perfect. Unlike kdramas and other romcoms, there will be disagreements, misunderstandings, and many more things the big screens don’t portray. Try not to get in the habit of holding everyone to unrealistically high standards, or you may end up realizing no one is perfect too late.
2. Be happy alone
Are you looking for a relationship because you really want one or to fulfill another desire? Much like looking for “the one”, people tend to think relationships are the key to reorganizing their life. They fantasize that once they get a significant other, they’ll start to exercise, eat better, make a skincare routine, and other resolutions. While it’s tempting to idealize a relationship, you have to learn how to be happy with yourself and your life alone. After all, you’re the only one who can truly make change happen. If you wait for a relationship to reinvent your life, you’ll probably be disappointed.
3. Be yourself
Have you ever faked sharing the same interests as someone to get closer to them? As tempting as it can be to people please, it’s likely counterproductive in the long run. After all, the whole point of dating is to find someone who likes you for you. Lying about what you like and dislike will only mislead people, meaning you may end up dating someone who likes your image, not who you truly are. When it comes to finding the right person for you, make sure you’re being authentic and genuinely yourself.
4. Make sure you’re ready to be vulnerable
What do relationships take a lot of? Some top answers may be communication, patience, and perseverance, but what some people don’t think of is vulnerability. In order to form a deep bond with anyone, you have to be open and honest with them, which takes a lot of courage. Letting someone know your deepest secrets, regrets, and desires can be terrifying. However, it’s necessary to find the right person who will accept all your flaws and imperfections. So, if you’re not having any luck finding someone for you, it may be because you’re not ready to be vulnerable.
5. Know your values and morals
Do you want kids? Would you rather have a big wedding or a small one with close friends and family only? Questions like these may seem far away, but they will affect your relationship in the long run. If you date someone whose values, morals, and goals don’t align with yours, you’re likely going to have disagreements down the line. For example, what if someone wants kids, but their partner doesn’t? In most cases, for large decisions such as having kids, settling without something you want will only lead to unhappiness and regret. To avoid this, try to get an idea of what you’re looking for from a relationship before getting too deep into one.
The bottom line in the search to find the right person for you is patience. It’ll likely take trial and error, and that’s okay! Every relationship teaches you something about yourself and what you do and don’t want, so don’t be afraid to learn and put yourself out there!
Do you think these secrets will help you? Do you have any other relationship tips? Feel free to leave a comment with your experience, feedback, or suggestions!