Unfortunately some friendships do come to an end. Whether that’s through an argument, distance or circumstance. It’s tough to deal with, especially if it comes out of nowhere. There are some friendships you’d like to save and would have if you’d have noticed when it started to break down. Maintaining friendships can be difficult and there is no book to read that gives you all the answers. But there are things to look out for if you feel you and your pal arent as close as you used to be, so Psych2Go shares with you 5 signs you and your friend are drifting apart:
1) You spend less time together.
If you’re in school or higher education with your friend then you’re already spending a fair amount of time together. But are you meeting up outside of school? Once school is over or it’s half term you’re no longer seeing each other every day and that can be when you start to loose contact. If you’re not at school for six weeks (the standard time for the summer holidays in england) then you’re bound to miss your friends and will probably arrange to do something and make time for each other. But if you’re drifting apart you might not even think to arrange to see them, or it might be awkward if you haven’t seen each other socially for a while.
2) You don’t update them on your life.
When major things happen, you don’t have the urge to let them know. Similarly, they might not update you on their life. You also might not ask their advice in a tricky situation, or want to let them know when you need them. This means you could go weeks, maybe months without having a ‘real’ conversation. Not sharing things in a friendship can eliminate the trust that you have built up and cause either person to bottle things up.
Once the trust seems to be breaking down it’s difficult to build it back up again and can lead to further drifting. But it can also lead to you growing apart if you’re not experiencing things together. When you share things that have impacted your life with your friends they experience and grow with you. If you’re not sharing that, your friend won’t grow and change with you.
3) You’re keeping things to yourself
Like previously stated once you’ve stopped reaching out to them and stopped sharing things it can get difficult to start doing it again. This could lead to each of you keeping things from the other person, in case they ask questions or simply because you don’t feel like your friendship is that personal anymore. It’s also natural to drift from someone who you feel like you have a surface-level relationship with as a strong friendship relies on being vulnerable with one another.
4) The silences are awkward
When you’re good friends with someone, often you can sit in silence, each doing something different without feeling the need to talk. However, if you’ve ever been in the company of an acquaintance when the conversation about the weather has gone dry, you’re often left with a horrible awkward silence. In theory this shouldn’t happen with one of your close friends. So if you find you’re running out of things to say, or you can’t think of a way to get a conversation flowing, it could be a sign you’re drifting apart.
5) You both start hanging around with others
The most obvious sign that you’re drifting from a friend is when you no longer have a desire to be around them. This could be a completely natural occurrence. Your school timetable might have changed and you’re no longer in the same classes, or you’ve moved jobs and don’t see them every day. It’s only natural for humans to seek close relationships with those around them. And if you’re not seeing them that regularly then the closeness you built up could start to dissipate.
Drifting from your friends can be difficult, but it’s always possible to reconnect with someone if you want to.
What do you think?
Have you drifted from a friend in the past? How did you deal with it? Psych2Go would love to know! Be sure to leave a comment below!
Ishak, R. (2016, 14th October) 9 Signs You’re Drifting Away From Your Friend & How To Know If You Should Try To Fix It. Bustle. Retrieved 2nd May 2018.