5 Signs You’re Not a Narcissist, Just Lonely

If you’re reading this article, chances are you have questions about you being a narcissist.

Do you think you’re too self-involved?

Do you have a difficult time deciphering other people’s feelings?

Are you too attached to the idea of receiving admiration?

Sometimes, these are actually not an indicator of NPD, but rather a personal call for help.

Are you lonely?

Do you think you’re coping with loneliness by making yourself the center of your life?

If that resonates with you, please read more to learn about whether you’re a narcissist or actually just lonely.

Friendly disclaimer: This is a disclaimer that this article/video is for informative purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional if you are struggling.

1. You try your best to educate yourself.

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The fact that you’re reading this right now shows your willingness to learn and immerse yourself in this topic.

Narcissists, on the other hand, have a sense of entitlement.

This means that they won’t bother themselves with things that show a hint of imperfection.

By continuously reading and exploring different studies, you are showing a penchant for growth, and that is important.

It may be that you’re just looking for validation from others because you don’t have that kind of support in your everyday life.

Joining clubs, groups, and organizations about things you’re passionate about might help.

Here are 6 Signs Someone Is Desperately Lonely.

2. You are open to personal growth.

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Are you willing to talk about your issues?

Do you constantly self-reflect?

Are you open to the idea of talking with other people about your own flaws, no matter how scary?

These types of behaviors show that you acknowledge your imperfections and are brave enough to face them head-on all for the sake of personal progress.

Narcissists tend to show haughtiness and arrogance.

They most likely are not comfortable with the idea that there is something they need to improve on.

If you are the type of person who’s open to constructive criticism, it might be a good idea to join online support groups.

Go check out the programs available in your school or workplace. You might meet worthwhile friends on the way.

3. Your past relationships ended well.

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Narcissists are magnets for short-term relationships.

Because of their constant need for admiration, most of their relationships end up being one-sided.

And when everything goes wrong, they flee.

If your previous friends, relationship partners, or acquaintances have nothing bad to say about you, chances are you really aren’t a narcissist at all. 

Maybe the relationship ending was a mutual understanding.

And it’s time to move on.

You can build sustainable relationships by taking it one at a time.

Be inquisitive. Have genuine curiosity for others.

Overcome your fear of being rejected and accept people for who they are.

When you are vulnerable enough to open yourself up to someone, they will see the effort.

4. Your emotions are genuine.

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Are you able to apologize truthfully?

Some people do certain things because social protocol dictates so.

Not because they feel like they genuinely want to do it.

An example of this is saying sorry.

Are you the type of person who says they’re sorry because they’re genuinely sorry? Or do you do it because it just seems like the right thing to do?

Both situations are correct, but narcissists are the type of people who put up an act in order to get what they want.

If you are someone who is spontaneous and reacts to their emotions normally, you likely have nothing to worry about.

Do you regularly overthink your actions or the words you just said to someone?

That just shows that you actually care about them and you’re afraid to hurt them.

What may help constant overthinking is being in touch with supportive friends who encourage you by reminding you of your worth.

In choosing friends, it is highly encouraged to pick quality over quantity.

Even if it’s just one person who truly understands you and accepts you as you are, it makes all the difference in the world.

5. You don’t feel like you are better than others.

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Do you have someone you are envious of?

Do you go on social media and wish you were living the life of someone popular successful?

These kinds of thoughts are normal and almost everybody experiences them.

It might help as a source of motivation, but not as a way of beating yourself down.

Here are 8 Ways to Fight Low Self-Worth.

Narcissists expect to be recognized as superior even without accompanying achievements.

So if you don’t feel like you’re on top of everyone without having a valid reason to, then you’re probably good to go. 

It always helps to stay grounded and appreciate your own capabilities and worth.

Self-love is really important.

If you nurture yourself first, others will see the difference. This can help attract people to you.

And this time, you know your boundaries and will not buckle down to anyone’s standards but your own.


Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a spectrum disorder. This means that some people will exhibit all the traits while others will show only a few. Only a licensed medical professional is qualified to diagnose this disorder.


What did you think about this article? 

Do you think you are a narcissist or just lonely? 

What makes you say so? 

Please share your experiences in the comment section below. We appreciate hearing about your stories.

Here are more articles related to this topic:


Axner, M. (n.d.). Chapter 14. Core Functions in Leadership | Section 7. Building and Sustaining Relationships | Main Section | Community Tool Box. Community Tool Box. Retrieved August 30, 2021, from https://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/leadership/leadership-functions/build-sustain-relationships/main

Caprino, K. (2021, May 26). 5 Clear Signs That You Have Childhood Wounds To Heal. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-clear-signs-you-have-childhood-wounds-heal-kathy-caprino/

Nimmo, K. (2020, October 5). 7 Signs You’re Not a Narcissist – On The Couch. Medium. https://medium.com/on-the-couch/7-signs-youre-not-a-narcissist-2845ea1311f7

Scott, E., MS. (2021, April 1). 9 Coping Mechanisms to Try If You’re Feeling Lonely. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-loneliness-3144939

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