5 Subtle Signs Someone Isn’t a Good Person

Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes, not a substitute for professional help and advice. It is advisable to always follow your intuition and to do what is right for you. In addition, please don’t consider this a personal attack on your character. 

Has your gut feeling ever told you that someone is up to no good? Are you worried someone in your life is “out to get you” but you’re unsure of the early red flags? In this article, we’re going to talk about the subtle signs someone isn’t a good person.

1. They lack empathy towards animals

 

Have you ever met a person who is insensitive and has no empathy for animals? People who have no empathy for animals and act in cruel ways towards animals are said to have conduct disorder and it is linked with psychopathic traits in childhood (de Wied, Meeus, & van Boxtel, 2021). 

2. They are mean to people who are less fortunate 

Have you ever noticed that some people tend to degrade janitors or garbage collectors? Just because they hold positions to clean up someone’s mess and garbage, some people tend to treat them with less respect and dignity. 

One trait of a good person is one who always treats everybody with respect, manners, and dignity. People who selectively treat others with superiority (especially in terms of socioeconomic status), don’t show respect or compassion to those who are less fortunate; are not good people. People with good hearts will treat everyone the same, with courtesy, dignity, and respect; regardless of their social status, race, belief, and gender.

3. They flip every criticism back at you

Have you ever been in a situation where you have tried to voice out your disagreement in the most polite way possible, but the other person took it personally and regarded it as criticism? Then they flipped the “criticism” back on you? If you do, then perhaps you are being gaslighted by the other person. 

An associate professor of Psychology at the University of West Virginia, Neill Korobov (2020) defines gaslighting as a type of deflection when the romantic partner tries to “flip a criticism back on the other during an argumentative exchange”. If you face a situation like this, it is advisable that you try to regulate your emotion and try to approach the issue from a place of compassion. (Korobov, 2020). 

4. Their words never match their actions 

Do you know a classmate who is really active in the students’ society at your university? Perhaps, one day, he posts about the dangers and negative effects of smoking and advises his followers to stop smoking due to its many adverse effects on health. However, you know you saw him smoking in his dorm just a few days ago. 

A good person is one who talks the talk and walks the walk. It is very likely that they will first do whatever comes out of their mouth or whatever they advise others to do. A good person will never give an inaccurate perception of one’s own ability. Perhaps you know of a friend who claims that she is a patient and punctual person, but in actuality, she always arrives late to your appointment with her. 

Whenever you see a person’s words do not match their behavior, perhaps your first reaction would be to give that person the benefit of the doubt. However, if they do this consistently,  it may be best if you refrain from sharing excessive details about your life and only talk about general things. 

5. You leave feeling worse than when you arrived 

Perhaps you have been in a situation where you feel drained and emotionally exhausted each time you have a conversation or interaction with a person? You leave the interaction feeling worse than when you arrived. It is likely that you are interacting with a person who is not a good person if you resonate with the situation. On the contrary, a good person is one who always speaks with compassion, honesty, and respect while allowing others to feel at ease and comfortable during the interactions. 

Final thoughts

As an Indian teacher and philosopher, Chanakya once said, “The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions.”  

The thing about goodness is, it can mean different things to different people. Each person has their own perspective and criteria that they would look for in order to label an individual as a good person. If you were to conduct a survey to ask 30 participants what it means to be a good person, most probably you would obtain 30 different answers. 

But, one thing’s for sure…a good person will light up the world wherever they go, and a person who is not good will be the opposite. 

REFERENCES 

Cowell, J.M. & Decety, J. (2015, January 5). The neuroscience of implicit moral evaluation and its relation to generosity in early childhood. Curr Biol.; 25(1):93-7.

de Wied, M., Meeus, W., & van Boxtel, A. (2021, June 2). Disruptive behavior disorders and psychopathic traits in adolescents: Empathy-related responses to witnessing animal distress. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment. Retrieved November 8, 2021, from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10862-021-09891-2.

Korobov, N. (2020). A discursive psychological approach to deflection in romantic couples’ everyday arguments. Qualitative Psychology. doi:/10.1037/qup0000161