It’s hardly a surprise that introverts hate small talk. Socialising for introverts can be challenging, nevermind being stuck with someone talking about how unusually nice the weather is. Small talk is boring, unmotivating and sometimes down right dull. Introverts get energised by having meaningful conversations, we want to connect with people and expand our knowledge. But with small talk that doesn’t happen, it can leave us feeling unfulfilled and like we’ve wasted time. So, Psych2Go shares with you what introverts would rather talk about instead of small talk.
1) What is actually going on in your life
We’ve all been there before, you greet someone with a friendly ‘hey, you been up to much?’ they reply with ‘this and that, y’know, you?’ and you follow up with ‘keeping busy, keeping busy’. In reality, you don’t actually know because ‘this and that’ isn’t an real answer, it’s vague and doesn’t offer an opener for a meaningful conversation. I don’t know if this is just an English custom but conversations like this happen multiple times a day, it’s standard small talk. But this is the sort of thing me and my fellow introverts loathe. We want to know what is actually going on in your life, good and bad.
Maybe you’ve started a new job, moved house, or taken up knitting. Those are the topics that can lend themselves to interesting discussions and keep both people engaged in the conversation.
2) Genuine hobbies and interests
There is nothing better than watching someone talk about a subject they’re passionate about. Their eyes light up, they smile and just radiate happiness. And you’ll find when someone is talking about their passion, it makes for easy, flowing conversation. You can really connect with someone when you learn what their interests are, which is what introverts like when conversing. It also helps to stop any awkward silences, if someone knows a lot about a topic then they can keep talking about it for a long time. Also when they’ve shared their interest, you can share yours. It really helps with getting to know someone and keeps both people committed to the conversation.
3) The big stuff
Usually when in the process of getting to know someone we steer clear of the big stuff, like: economics, politics, cosmology, history, and religion. Mostly so we don’t cause unrest if someone disagrees and turns a healthy conversation into a debate worthy of the House of Commons. But often topics that insight passionate discussion are really interesting and can keep your attention for hours. If you can be mature and respectfully disagree there’s no reason not to broach the big stuff. With this type of conversation, you’re bound to learn something new, which is what introverts like to take away from a conversation.
I don’t mean dreams as in goals for life (although that is something else introverts enjoy discussing). I mean dreams that occur when you sleep. Dreams can be so complex, but they can also be hilarious. Sharing your most recent dream with someone is a great way to break the ice without resorting to horrendous small talk. You can also have hours of fun on the internet trying to decide what your recent dream meant and seeing the, quite frankly, weird reasoning behind some of them. Discussing dreams can also help you get to know someone and it’s a fun conversation starter.
5) Human stories
Humans are amazingly unique people, with some weird and wonderful stories to tell. Discussing unusual things that have happened to you can keep people invested in the conversation. Introverts like to connect and feel like we’re getting an authentic experience when conversing, sharing fun stories from your life can take a conversation to another level. For example, my dad met someone in a bar who had trained tigers in india. This man was extraordinary and my dad came away from the conversation feeling mind-blown. When you share parts of your life with acquaintances, it can be an otherworldly experience and energise introverts.
What do you think?
Do you hate small talk? What would you rather talk about? Psych2Go would love to know! Be sure to leave a comment below!
Granneman, J. (2017, 2nd June). 19 Things Introverts Would Rather Talk About Than Make Small Talk. Introvert, Dear. Retrieved 9th May 2018