Talking to your crush can be a very nerve-wracking experience. The thought of saying something wrong is always in the back of your head. But it doesn’t have to be! Some things that we say to others can increase their attraction toward us. If you’re not sure what those things are, check out this list and get some ideas.
1. Crack a joke
Wendy you think we can go on a date?
It might sound cheesy, but even a simple joke like this can do the trick. Humor eases the situation and makes you seem more open and likable. This trick is also backed by science: laughing releases endorphins, which make us feel good about ourselves and others. On top of that, your crush could follow up with their own joke, and if you laugh at it, you get bonus points! People tend to like others who laugh at their jokes. So don’t be nervous to drop a joke here and there!
2. Remember to say thank you
Saying “thank you” is not only a sign of good manners. It is also a simple way to tell someone “I appreciate you”! Showing gratitude makes people feel respected and happy, and it lets them know you recognize their efforts. If you’re hanging out with your crush, tell them “thank you for such a good time!” Or if they’re a good friend who never fails to listen, tell them “thank you for always being there for me”. This simple but powerful phrase could create a long-lasting bond between you two.
3. Share a little secret
Secrets… we all have them. Some are small, like that embarrassing thing you did in middle school, and some are bigger, like the drama that goes on in your family. Sometimes we like to keep them to ourselves, but sharing some of your little secrets with your crush could make them like you a bit more. Sharing a secret with someone creates a bond between you, and it takes your relationship to the next level – making it more special and intimate. On top of that, studies have shown that people who use more intimate disclosure tend to be liked more than people who are a bit more private. Long story short, telling your crush a little secret about yourself might just be a good way to get the ball rolling.
4. Give them compliments
We all like to receive compliments from time to time. It’s perfectly normal, and it boosts our self-esteem. You look lovely today, you have an awesome style, that hair-do looks great on you… Compliments like these can make your crush feel like they’re really special to you. It’s also worth noting to compliment things that they don’t hear all that often. For example, compliment their artistic skills, or a good book choice. They will surely be glad someone noticed, and it could be a great conversation starter.
5. Ask them questions
Showing interest in your crush could make them like you, as was determined by a Harvard research group, who found a connection between asking questions and being liked! Ask them about their hobbies, their bucket list, their favorite music choice… pretty much anything! Since people really like talking about themselves, asking them about their life could be a good strategy to increase your chances. So just ask away, let them do the talking, and see how they smile more every time they see you.
Are you ready to try these out? Just relax, take it easy, and be honest and genuine while talking to them. They will surely feel the positive vibes. And don’t forget to let us know how it went!
Asking Questions Increases Likability. (2017, July 14). Association for Psychological Science – APS. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/asking-questions-increases-likability.html?fbclid=IwAR1zeYJvkkQIIBOrGfjKYFdHz8qa2AKmuugPyPCnva8BIBBKv-mqT7n3Kqs
Collins, N., & Miller, L. (1994). Self-disclosure and liking: a meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 116(3), 457-75.
Graff, M. (2020, January 30). Can Telling Someone Your Secrets Make Them Like You? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/202001/can-telling-someone-your-secrets-make-them-you
Huang, K., Yeomans, M., Brooks, A. W., Minson, J., & Gino, F. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(3), 430–452. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000097
Liz, T. M. H.-. (2020, August 27). 3 Compliments That Create Deep Attraction. Get The Guy. https://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/three-compliments-that-create-deep-attraction/?fbclid=IwAR1paBuZOsmBqFr_XCjJiHvetS1SfhC0QT5eMB2ZX6_c56xXyxQBK3SSRLk
Schafer, J. (2016, August 3). People Will Like You If You Make Them Laugh. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201608/people-will-you-if-you-make-them-laugh