Hey, Psych2Goers! Do you have a friend in your life that you think is toxic, but you’re not quite sure if you should end your friendship with them? If you’re already asking yourself this question, now is a good time to reconsider whether this person should be in your life. This video will help you identify the types of friends who may be causing you more harm than good. Here are 5 toxic people that you should think about ending your friendship with.
1. The gossiper
Do you have a friend who talks about your mutual friends behind their backs? If someone is gossiping about their other friends, they might be doing the same to you. If you have caught them speaking negatively about yourself or others, you might want to ask yourself: can this person really be trusted? Of course, no one is perfect and most of us have been guilty of gossiping occasionally. But if your friend has a habit of speaking down about people when they’re not around, this could be a red flag.
2. The friend who takes more than they give
Being generous with your friends can be a beautiful thing. We all want to make those we love feel special and let them know we value them. However, it can become a problem when you are the only one putting in effort (Geller et al., 2021). Do you find that you are constantly listening to your friend talk about their own life, but they rarely ask about you? Do you feel like you put a lot of effort into the friendship, but your friend doesn’t care as much? If you answered “yes” to these questions, it might be worth talking to your friend about how you feel or re-evaluating your friendship with them altogether.
3. The user
Friendship should be a two-way street, right? Well, the user doesn’t see it this way. This person asks you for favours often and seems to care more about what they can get out of you than actually spending time with you (Davis, 2017). A true friend values you for the things that make you, you: your personality, your sense of humour, and your presence. If your friend shows appreciation for the things you give to them but doesn’t appreciate you as a person, they might be toxic.
4. The criticizer
Does your friend make a lot of rude or sarcastic comments to you that make you doubt yourself? If so, you might be dealing with someone who is overly critical, and this can be toxic to your wellbeing. Good friends are supportive and uplifting, and they can also offer you a different perspective. You don’t always need to be surrounded by “yes people” – sometimes it’s beneficial for friends to challenge your thoughts in a healthy way! However, if you have someone in your life who is tearing you down more than building you up, it might be time to consider ending the friendship.
5. The friend who drains you
One way to decide if you should end your friendship with someone is to pay attention to how you feel after you hang out with them. Do you feel happy and fulfilled, or stressed and emotionally drained? Notice the effect that your friend has on your mood (Raypole, 2020). Friendships can take work sometimes, and you may occasionally have arguments or negative experiences with your friend. While rough patches are normal, they should not be happening all the time. Remember that a friendship should not feel like a chore. It should be a source of positivity that adds value to your life.
We hope this video encouraged you to think about how your friendships affect you, and whether you should keep certain people in your circle. We’re not here to tell you what to do – only you can decide whether to end your friendship with someone. But we are here to help you identify toxic traits that you might not have recognized in others, and remind you that you deserve healthy friendships. Thank you for listening and always remember that you are worthy of having kind, supportive people in your life!
Davis, A. (2017, December 7). 23 Warning Signs of a Toxic Friend. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/23-warning-signs-of-a-tox_b_9645474
Geller, L., Geller, L., Blumberg, P. O., & Blumberg, P. O. (2021, November 10). If Your BFF Is Doing Any Of These Things, They’re Probably A Toxic Friend. Women’s Health. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a25939904/signs-of-toxic-friendships/
Raypole, C. (2020, May 19). In a Toxic Friendship? Here’s What to Look For (and How to Handle It). Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-friendships#effects-on-you