With the start of a new year, do you feel like this specific holiday has lost its significance to you? Have you stopped believing in New Year’s Resolutions and feel like no matter what you say to yourself, you are currently stuck in a bad spot? Well, sure, one important factor for this could be the circumstances that you are currently facing, be it quarantine lockdown, personal problems, etc.
However, it is just as important to consider that you might be feeling stuck not because of external factors, but rather because of a number of lies that you tell yourself. For this article, I will be talking about 6 lies you need to stop telling yourself in order to help you shake things up in your life, and help you start moving forward.
You don’t have enough to be happy yet
How often do you think about the things you could have gotten, but didn’t? Even if you can only think of small, and irrelevant examples, constantly doing this can actually translate to bigger and more impactful things. This thought process can make you obsess over things that you don’t have and stop you from looking at what you do have (Brainy Dose, 2020).
As such, you will never feel like you have enough to be happy yet, or ever. You need to stop focusing on the “What could haves”, consider the things that you actually got, and make the most out of it. This way, even if you are not the most fortunate or rich person, you will be able to find happiness in your life.
You’re not good enough
In retrospective, has there ever been a challenge that you could have overcome, but couldn’t, not because of your lack of ability, but because you were not confident enough? Believing one is not good enough is something everyone has thought at any point in life. You might think that you’re not smart enough to ace an exam, or that you’re not attractive enough to socialise with others. This will completely destroy any confidence that you have, reducing your self-worth and negatively impacting your performance (Morin, 2020). You might even get to the point that you feel like trying to do anything is a waste of time. So, try to make a list of your strengths and weaknesses, and put in a lot of work to enhance your strengths while reducing your weaknesses. If there is nothing to be done about a weakness, learn how to embrace it and accept it as a feature that you have.
You don’t have the willpower
Have you ever looked up to successful people and their habits and thought: “I don’t think I have the willpower to do that?” Most of the time, you might lie to yourself saying you don’t have enough willpower as an excuse to give in to temptations. For example, if you think that waking up early would be a good idea, but you use the lack of willpower as an excuse that’s preventing you from doing it. A lot of people think that making these changes from one day to another are very hard, and they are right.
What you need to do is set yourself up by making changes in the environment in which you are at (Bonior, 2016). If what you want is to wake up early the next day, make sure that you have enough time at night to wind down, don’t spend too much time on your electronic devices right before sleeping, etc.. So, instead of just blaming your lack of willpower, make small changes in your environment that will set yourself up to succeed.
It’s too late for you
Have you ever felt discouraged from doing something only because you feel its too late? Well, a lot of people feel this sometimes, including myself. Especially when you see people who are 10 years younger than you already achieving things that you felt were nearly impossible to achieve. The truth is that it’s never too late for you. You might be guiding yourself with generally stablished time frames by society, such as having your bachelor’s diploma at around age 23-25.
However, remember that you are your own person, and you follow your own path. There are people who graduate college in their 60s (Clark, 2015). Some of the richest people in the world only started succeeding in their 40s or 50s. Don’t let yourself be restrained and discouraged by time frames that do not apply to you.
Anything that’s not perfect is a failure
Do you often get discouraged only because you can’t do something perfectly? This can be one of the lies that most people tell themselves. Although striving to be the best version of yourself is very good, often times, you might actually set the bar too high and expect perfection from yourself. However, humans are scientifically proven flawed beings, and most people know this. The term “human error” is widely used in more formal and professional settings because of how often it happens. Don’t let your pursuit for perfection be a decisive factor in your life and always give it your best efforts (Shch, 2019).
You can change people
Have you ever relied on your ability to make people change to achieve something? Believing that you can change people is one of the biggest lies that you might be telling yourself, and you really need to stop. Consider how difficult it is to make yourself change, even when you are willing. Now, think of how difficult it must be to change people, especially when they are not looking to change (Clark, 2015). If there is something you don’t like about someone, learn to accept them as they are. If you really cannot stand it, distance yourself. Don’t waste your time and effort trying to do something that will most likely give no positive results for you, or anyone.
Don’t let any of the lies that I have addressed in this article take over your life. Be optimistic, learn to embrace what you have and don’t let any of the thoughts that I have mentioned hold you back from achieving the things that you want.
Bonior, A. (2016). 6 Lies You Must Stop Telling Yourself. Retrieved 10 January 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/friendship-20/201612/6-lies-you-must-stop-telling-yourself
Brainy Dose. (2020). 16 Lies You Need To Stop Telling Yourself [Video]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGNPcx-YvkI
Clark, C. (2015). 7 Lies You Need To Stop Telling Yourself. Retrieved 10 January 2021, from https://carinkilbyclark.com/lies-to-stop-telling-yourself/
Morin, A. (2020). 7 lies you need to stop telling yourself if you want to become mentally stronger. Retrieved 10 January 2021, from https://www.businessinsider.com.au/7-lies-to-stop-telling-yourself-to-become-mentally-stronger-2020-6?r=US&IR=T Shch, A. (2019). 20 Lies to Stop Telling Yourself in 2020. Retrieved 10 January 2021, from https://medium.com/mind-cafe/20-lies-to-stop-t