Being the single one in your friend group might feel like a running gig – but have you ever wondered what’s it feel like to be in a relationship for once?
If you have never been in a relationship, you may believe that you are missing out on important life experiences. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. We all tread our paths and become who we are throughout our lifetime — and being a late bloomer in love is not a lifelong curse; it’s far from it.
Nonetheless, here are six possible reasons why you have never been in a relationship.
1) You are terrified to start
Whether it’s humiliation, rejection, or an awkward end of a friendship – there are many reasons why people choose not to even consider going into a relationship.
If being single is all you’ve ever known, taking the plunge in being in a relationship can be an intimidating ordeal. Being in a serious relationship can be incredibly overwhelming. After all, it entails new changes in actions and habits. An unwillingness to give up on personal freedom stops many possible relationships from blossoming at all.
2) You have never met the right person
Do you know anybody who’s has more exes than fingers? How about those who married their first love?
Some people find their lifelong love in high school, some during parties, and some in the grocery store at 2 am. No one is exempt from finding love; even stumbling upon the right person in unplanned encounters is a looming possibility. Alternatively, it could be self-imposed as well. You may just patiently be waiting or actively searching for your ideal partner and can’t find the right one yet – and that’s perfectly fine!
3) You have extremely high expectations
Do you have a long list of dealbreakers? Do you quickly lose interest after the first or second date?
It’s important to know what you want out of a relationship and to make sure your needs are met, but there’s a difference between knowing your self-worth and being overly demanding. (Wolff, 2017). Relationships involve some level of compromise, and you sometimes have to adjust your expectations and evaluate the flaws and strengths of a person without being overly stingy.
4) Your past relationships have hurt you
Being betrayed by someone feels like stinging ice.
Heartbreaks from past friendships and relationships can haunt a person for years, and you may not be ready to feel that level of hurt again. According to Cook et al. (2004), trauma survivors often report low relationship satisfaction, along with impaired expression of emotion, intimacy, communication, and adjustment. Do you feel that way?
Even if you have moved on from the person who has hurt you deeply, you may still feel remnants of the pain and insecurity, restricting you from showing vulnerability to anyone else. These feelings may be too much to bear for some, but when the right person comes along, you may start to heal and even be ready to give love a second chance.
5) Your introversion keeps you at bay
Let’s face it: introverts are not the first people to engage in new social interactions. After all, finding and maintaining a relationship requires a great deal of social effort. Dating around pretty much entails going out and meeting new faces in museums, movies, restaurants, and other places. Although some introverts can find joy in doing this every once in a while, nothing beats the comfort of staying at home.
If you do find the right person who understands your needs, however, even the most introverted people can enjoy social activities as long as their partner is around. And that’s the best feeling ever!
6) You devote your love to other things first
Are you just too busy with other obligations to the point that being in a committed relationship is still off the table?
Relationship hunting may simply not be your number one priority in life – and that’s perfectly normal and OK. Even if you may be constantly pestered by your parents to follow traditional routes like getting married, getting a stable job, and having kids, in reality, you are not restricted at all from living the life you yourself want. And if having a relationship is not your current desire, then more power to you!
However you see it, relationships are what makes life worth living. Not just romantic bonds, but even friends and family too. You deserve a complete and genuine form of love – and sometimes it takes years to find the right people to share it with.
Just know, you are never too late to love!
That’s all for now, Psych2Goers!
- Wolff, Carina. 9 Signs Your Dating Expectations Are Too High. Bustle.https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-relationship-expectations-may-be-too-high-6746810
- Palack.10 Reasons Why You Have Never Been In A Serious Relationship https://pandagossips.com/posts/1857
- Cook, J. M., Riggs, D. S., Thompson, R., Coyne, J. C., and Sheikh, J. I. (2004). Posttraumatic stress disorder and current relationship functioning among World War II ex-prisoners of war. Journal of Family Psychology, 18(1), pp. 36-45. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14992608