Have you wondered why you and someone do not get along after you knew each other for a long time? Do you often feel there is some kind of barrier between you and that person? If the description sounds like your experience, it is possible that your relationship is starting to be incompatible, meaning that you are less likely suited for each other. To dive in more, here are 6 signs of you being incompatible with someone.
1) You argue in different styles
People argue due to disagreements, opposing ideas, and misunderstandings. It is a normal phenomenon between human interactions. The way we handle conflicts varies from person to person. Take a moment and think about it. Are you the one who screams and throw things or the one who analyzes the problem in a more rational and calm way? The extreme variations of arguments can cause an emotional burden over time, eventually bringing more obstacles between you (Steber, 2016).
2) Your lifestyles vary
Most of the time, you and that person are trying to find what suits best for both of you. While a few different hobbies and beliefs are fine at some point, it is also important to keep in mind that you need support and agreement in many cases. For instance, perhaps one of you is a night owl and the other one is an early bird. Or you have different ways to relax, such as reading a book and doing yoga versus hang out with friends and go for karaoke (Steber, 2016).
3) You have communication difficulties
Sharing a relationship with someone is to have a companion to experience successes and challenges together in our lifetime. However, your communications styles are different, it may be difficult for you to get along over time. For example, similar to point 1, one of you may be more emotional and targets on feelings. Yet the other one may be more rational and targets on evidence. It may become harder for you to communicate as your speeches and tones focus on various aspects (Steber, 2016).
4) Your values and principles are inconsistent
Does the one you care about always arrive late when you suggest going out together? When you complain, they don’t really like to put themselves in your shoes to see how frustrating it is to wait for someone for so long. Something that might not seem like a big deal to them, is actually a big deal to you. In this case, one of the principals that you value is being punctual, while the other person doesn’t think it’s important. This could be a sign you are not compatible because you have opposite sets of values (Steber, 2016).
5) You no longer share commonalities
When we first get to know someone, they are like a mystery box. We don’t know much about them and perhaps some of their traits are considered fun and interesting at the beginning. However, the more we interact with them, and the more we learn more about their behaviors and habits, some of us may slightly feel the friendship or relationship does not seem as fresh as before. It may also make you feel frustrated and you can’t be yourself around them. If it changes from warm and affectionate to cold and aloof, this is one of the red flags that we shall not ignore (Phillips, 2018).
6) No tolerance is left between you
Despite having several accommodations of acknowledging and forgiving each other, you grew tired of the unchangeable situation. You still got stuck no matter how much you adjust or suggesting a solution between you and someone for a long period of time. If you notice there is nothing that you can tolerate anymore with that person, then it’s time to set yourselves free (Lickerman, 2013).
Lickerman., A. (2013, February 3). The Real Reason Couples Decide They’re Incompatible. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/happiness-in-world/201302/the-real-reason-couples-decide-theyre-incompatible
Phillips., S. (2018, January 3). What Are The Three Top Relationship Killers? Expert Opinions. Psych Central. https://blogs.psychcentral.com/healing-together/2016/05/what-are-the-three-top-relationship-killers-expert-opinions/
Steber., C. (2016, August 30). 11 Subtle Signs You Aren’t Compatible With Your Partner. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/articles/180190-11-subtle-signs-you-arent-compatible-with-your-partner