How highly do you value having a positive and optimistic perspective of life, no matter how bad things are? Being positive and optimistic is very important in allowing you to overcome the challenges and hurdles that you face on a daily basis. It also has an immensely positive contribution to having and maintaining good mental health, which is something that has been gaining relevance in recent times. However, like everything else, too much of something is never good. Being overly positive and optimistic can be as bad, or even worse, than having a negative approach to something. After all, lying to yourself is very rarely the best way to approach things. So, if you are not happy or hurting about something, it is important that you acknowledge it instead of repressing and ignoring it. This article will be revolving around the topic of being hurt subconsciously and will be addressing signs that this is happening to you.
You avoid being alone with your own thoughts
Are you constantly looking to be doing things that distract you from your own thoughts? Of course, with how hectic and busy routines have gotten, there is a chance that you might not be doing this on purpose. However, if you are avoiding being alone with your own thoughts on purpose, this might be a sign that you are hurting subconsciously.
Generally, when you choose to supress emotions, these are related to negative memories or experiences. Such emotions include anger, sadness, frustration, fear, etc. (Raypole, 2020). And, of course, being by yourself without doing anything distracting will lead to these emotions surfacing, which is why you avoid being by yourself with your own thoughts. Being alone with your own thoughts and self-reflecting is very important. It allows you to have an accurate estimation of the state of your well-being and take decisions that will be better for you with your current circumstances.
You feel uncomfortable when others discuss your feelings
Do you often talk about your feelings with other people? How do you feel when someone asks if you are doing well or not? If you feel uncomfortable discussing your feelings with others, it might be a sign that you are hurting subconsciously (Francos, 2020). Similar to how you avoid being alone with your own thoughts, discussing your feelings with others will resurface the emotions that you are trying to suppress.
There are a number of factors that affect which emotions you suppress, including the guidance you received from parents or role models about dealing with these emotions. It is very normal for parents or role models to constantly tell you that you should avoid feeling “bad emotions” such as the ones mentioned above (Francos, 2020). However, even though you can avoid negative emotions in the short-term, they will always bottle up until you address them.
You go along with everything without expressing your wants and needs
How often do you prioritise your own wants and needs over other people’s? If you are constantly doing what other people want to do without ever expressing what you would like to do, chances are that you are hurting subconsciously (Jacobson, 2017). You might be afraid that, by letting people know what you want and need, the negative emotions that are hurting you will show. And of course, this can happen subconsciously. There is a chance that you simply don’t express your wants and needs because you like to be a flexible person. There is nothing wrong with that and flexible friends who are willing to sacrifice what they want to help others are very valuable. But if you feel like something is off, try giving yourself some time to self-reflect and figure out the reason why you don’t express your wants and needs.
You feel nervous or stressed most of the time
Are you on a constant state of alert and tension? This is one of the biggest and most common signs that you are hurting subconsciously. Your emotional state will be under a lot of pressure if there is a repressed negative feeling or emotion that is affecting you without being addressed. Not processing these repressed emotions will not disappear by themselves and will result in psychological and physical issues if left unattended (Raypole, 2020). So, if you can notice yourself being nervous about everything or constantly feeling stressed out for reasons that usually do not affect you, you are most likely hurting subconsciously.
You are easily angered and suffer frequent mood swings
Thinking back, have you noticed yourself getting angry much easier and faster than before? Getting angry is normal and there is not a single person in the world who can claim that they have never gotten angry. However, if you are hurting subconsciously, how easily you get angry and how frequent you get mood swings can be very noticeable. For example, imagine having recently broken up with your romantic partner because they cheated on you.
Now, instead of addressing the anger and disappointment of being betrayed, you just carry on like everything is fine. Being in that emotional state will make it so that anything will anger you because the emotions that you are repressing are leaking. So, if you notice more frequent mood swings, overreactions, or emotional bursts, you probably have repressed emotions that are hurting you subconsciously (Kos, 2020).
You are having terrible nightmares
How often do you remember the dreams you had while sleeping? Have these recently turned into terrible nightmares? This might be a difficult sign to identify since most people don’t even remember the dreams they have. However, if you have recently found yourself recalling terrible nightmares in the morning, you might be hurting subconsciously. Factors such as stress or past traumas can cause people to remember dreams and nightmares much more vividly (Fielding, 2020). Your subconscious mind communicates to you through a number of ways, including dreams. So, if you are experiencing terrible nightmares, it most likely means that your mind is telling you that there is some pain or negative emotion affecting it (Kos, 2020). To address this, as soon as you wake up from a terrible nightmare, try to write what you experienced down on a piece of paper and self-reflect. There might be a connection between what you dreamt and your real life.
To wrap this article up, there seems to be a general belief that emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, etc. are bad. Many people grew up hearing phrases such as: “You should not be angry, be grateful instead”, or, “You don’t have a reason to be sad”. However, this has led to some people completely suppressing and ignoring these emotions because they are “bad” and ending up suffering from the psychological and physical backlash. It is important that you have your own health as your number one priority, rather than focusing on what other people might think if they find out that you are constantly feelings these emotions. Practice self-reflection to understand what you are going through and take decisions based on that. You will feel much better once you release these suppressed emotions.
Fielding, S. (2020). Why Some People Always Remember Their Dreams and Others Forget. Retrieved 23 February 2021, from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/remembering-dreams-psychology
Francos, E. (2020). 20 Subtle Signs You Have Repressed Emotions (And How To Release Them). Retrieved 23 February 2021, from https://www.yourtango.com/2020334852/subtle-signs-you-have-repressed-emotions-how-release-them
Jacobson, S. (2017). Are You Emotionally Repressed? How to Tell. Retrieved 23 February 2021, from https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/emotionally-repressed-signs.htm
Kos, B. (2020). 20 not so obvious indicators of emotional pain and psychological suffering. Retrieved 23 February 2021, from https://agileleanlife.com/soft-indicators-of-emotional-pain/
Raypole, C. (2020). Let It Out: Dealing With Repressed Emotions. Retrieved 23 February 2021, from https://www.healthline.com/health/repressed-emotions