6 Signs You Have Commitment Issues

Can you imagine spending your entire life with one person? Committing to someone is hard, and between fear of getting hurt and worrying about not having a life outside of a relationship, it always seems as if there are so many things just waiting to go wrong. It takes a lot of patience and trust to commit, and there are many people and events that may break your trust along the way. Whatever the reason why, commitment issues are more common than you may think. Curious to know whether you have commitment issues? Keep reading for 6 signs you do!   

1. Your relationships never seem to make it past a certain point   

Picture this: everything’s going fine with your partner. You’re both having fun until they start to hint that they want to take things to the next level. It could be wanting to move in together or announcing your relationship to all your friends and family. Do you feel uncomfortable with these signs of commitment? If so, it’s likely your relationship didn’t last long after your partner began to get more serious. You may notice you’ve had several short relationships instead of any long ones. While the reason may be the people themselves, if you’ve noticed your relationships constantly ending after your partner wanting to take things to the next level, you may have commitment issues.  

2. You don’t think about the future of your relationships

Of course, it’s okay to just enjoy the moment without worrying about the future, but there’s a big difference between doing that and avoiding thinking about the future because it scares you. Thinking about a relationship’s future should be hopeful and exciting with small amounts of normal fear and worry. If thinking about things like moving in with a partner or bringing them to your hometown sound terrifying instead of promising, it may be because you’re scared of settling down and committing. 

3. You don’t make plans 

Making plans is a huge sign of commitment. It means you’re committed to your partner until at least the event, so if you find yourself avoiding making long term plans with them, it’s likely a sign you’re afraid of settling down. You may think to yourself, “I don’t want to spend money on something we might not even get to do together,” or, “that’s too far in the future to schedule.” These are telltale signs you don’t think the relationship is going to last and don’t want to commit.  

4. You have trouble opening up and being emotionally vulnerable   

Opening up to a new person can be scary. There are so many things that could go wrong, and you may end up getting hurt in the end. However, being emotionally open is a key factor in any relationship. It means being able to form a deep emotional bond with your partner, knowing they won’t intentionally hurt you, and always trusting they’ll always be there for you. So, if you find yourself struggling with letting people in, it’s likely a sign you don’t want to commit to anyone by being emotionally vulnerable.  

5. You have poor communication skills  

We know you’ve heard it before, but communication really is the most important thing in a relationship. You need it to tell your partner how you’re feeling, your boundaries and comfort zones, and when there’s a problem. If you’re lacking communication skills, it may be a sign you don’t feel comfortable with your partner or aren’t ready for a relationship yet. Communication issues are a big indicator you’re not ready to commit to anyone. 

6. You like the idea of a relationship more than being in one   

Have you ever fantasized about the perfect person sweeping you off your feet? You two would have the best relationship and go on the cutest dates, so what’s not to love? However, when it comes to actually being in a relationship, you can’t help but feel like being single again. Whether this is due to setting unrealistic expectations or not knowing what you’re looking for in a partner, it’s a good sign you’re not ready to commit to a relationship at this point in your life.   

7. You have a large circle of acquaintances but no close friends   

Romantic and platonic relationships have a lot in common. For example, if you’re afraid of committing romantically due to fear of getting hurt, you may also be afraid of committing to a friend for the same reason. Commitment issues aren’t always exclusive to relationships since they often have deeper roots like fear of abandonment or opening up. These fears can also manifest in your friendships. So, just like how you may have had many short relationships without any long ones, you may have a large circle of casual friends without any deep, close ones.  

Committing takes a lot of time and patience to work up to, so it’s okay if you’re not there yet. It’s not easy to picture yourself with one person for the rest of your life. The most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself because not wanting to commit isn’t something to blame anyone for. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you slowly work up to it.   

Do you have trouble committing to relationships? Did these signs help you realize it? Feel free to leave any of your comments, feedback, or experiences!