This article is for educational purposes and is based on personal opinions. This article is not a substitute for professional advice, but for general guidance. We advise you to always listen to your intuition and always do what is right for you. If you can relate to any of these signs, please do not take this feedback as an attack on your character. This article was meant to be a self-improvement guide for those of you who have been feeling a little stuck.
Have you ever wondered if your ego has gotten too big and started controlling your life? First, it is very important to know what “ego” means, especially because this term is among the most confusing in the psychology field. In Sigmund Freud’s theory, the ego is the part of the personality that arbitrates between the animalistic desires of the “id”, and the moral and social standards of the “superego”. In essence, the “ego” refers to the conscious, decision-making part of you that you regard as “I” (Leary, 2019). It is who we believe ourselves to be.
However, because of how sensitive ego tend to be, many internal and external factors can affect it, and possibly, cause it to negatively impact different aspects of people’s lives. Therefore, to avoid this from happening to you, this article will be focusing on 6 signs your ego is ruining your life and relationships.
Everything is a competition for you
Do you enjoy competing with other people? Healthy competition is known to be very beneficial as it promotes people to do better, and it also improve people’s relationships and camaraderie. However, if everything is a competition for you, it might be a sign that your ego is ruining your life and relationships. Seeing everything as a competition suggests that your ego is obsessed with being the best (Brenizer, 2021).
This will inevitably ruin existing relationships and drive away new relationships. Your family and friends will start believing that there is no activity that they can do with you without it turning into an intense competition. Rather than constantly trying to prove you are the best, try to keep things nice, fun, and light.
You often point fingers
How often do you take responsibility for things that go wrong? Constantly pointing fingers and blaming everyone else is one of the signs that your ego is ruining your life and relationships. An unhealthy ego will never admit that it is wrong (Kirstie, 2017). Admitting flaws or mistakes can make you feel like you have lost some of your power, which is why you might default to putting the blame on someone, or something else. And, naturally, once your family and close friends start realising that you’ll never take responsibility, no matter how wrong your actions or behaviour was, they’ll start pushing you away from their lives. To avoid this, it’s important to recognise that in most situations, taking responsibility for your own mistakes will make people see you in a better light.
You believe everything is about you
How often do you care about how others feel? If you often make everything about yourself, chances are that your ego is ruining your life and relationships. Someone with an unhealthy ego will not care that much about how others feel, and always give priority to themselves. You might start seeing people only for what they can do for you or how they are affecting you (Kirstie, 2017).
Constantly making everything about yourself while neglecting what others want and feel will undoubtedly damage your relationship. After all, who would want to have a relationship with someone who only cares about themselves? If you can relate to this, it’s important that you remember that human relationships are based on giving and receiving (Power of Positivity, 2015). So, a relationship will not work if all you do is receive attention and time without giving it back.
You dislike other people’s success
Can you recall a moment when one of your colleagues got promoted at work? How did you react to the news? If you disliked other people’s success, chances are that your ego is ruining your life. Jealousy is one of the things that someone with an unhealthy ego displays in their behaviour. This happens because ego mainly feeds off of your self-worth and self-esteem (Power of Positivity, 2016). You might dislike others being promoted or finding their dream job because it makes you feel like something that should have been yours was taken away unfairly. Envying others and disliking their success will only make you look selfish and entitled, and ultimately ruin your relationship with others.
You would put your pride over anything
Would you consider yourself to be a prideful person? How much pride one should have is always a difficult thing to address. Too little pride will be bad for your self-esteem, while too much pride can make you look arrogant. Pride can make you feel awesome but putting your pride over anything is one of the signs that your ego is ruining your life and relationships.
An unhealthy ego and excessive pride will make you put too much emphasis on self-importance and close your mind to learning (Brenizer, 2021). It can ruin your life and relationships by forcing you to take clearly wrong decisions and losing great opportunities only because you prefer to protect your pride.
You can feel inferior to everyone else
Have you ever told yourself: “There is someone better than me, I should just give up” before going into a job interview? Similar to how an unhealthy ego can ruin your life by making you feel better than everyone else, it can also make you feel inferior. And this can be completely attributed to the fact that your ego will force you to constantly compare yourself with others (Kirstie, 2017). The moment your ego decides that everyone else is better than you, a feeling of inferiority will get deeply ingrained into your behaviour and start affecting how you approach things in your daily life. You’ll pass opportunities before even trying because you feel that you’re not good enough and you’re just wasting your time.
To conclude, if you are familiar with any of the signs that I have mentioned in this article, you should try to start self-reflecting and finding ways to fix your ego before it completely takes control over your actions and ruins your life and relationships. Of course, this is a very difficult and confusing topic because let’s be realistic, there is probably no one in the whole world who can say that they have not had their egos take control at any point in their lives. Additionally, ego can go both ways, and either make you an extremely arrogant and prideful person, or a person who feels inferior to everyone else. So, give it your best to find that happy medium point, and try to keep your ego in check.
Brenizer, M. (2021). 6 Signs Your Ego is Ruining Your Relationships + How to Fix It. Retrieved 30 April 2021, from https://www.doyou.com/6-signs-your-ego-is-ruining-your-relationships-how-to-fix-it-43739/
Kirstie. (2017). 7 Ways your Ego is Running (and Ruining) your Life. Retrieved 30 April 2021, from https://www.notmeditating.com/ego-ruin-your-life/
Leary, M. (2019). What Is the Ego, and Why Is It So Involved in My Life?. Retrieved 30 April 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life
Power of Positivity. (2015). 9 Signs You’re Letting Your Ego Run Your Life. Retrieved 30 April 2021, from https://www.powerofpositivity.com/9-signs-youre-letting-ego-run-life/
Power of Positivity. (2016). 5 Signs Ego Is Ruining Your Relationship. Retrieved 30 April 2021, from https://www.powerofpositivity.com/5-signs-ego-is-ruining-your-relationship/