6 Signs You’re Abandoning Yourself For Others (Fawning)

In the realm of human interaction, it is natural to consider the needs and emotions of others. Empathy and compassion play crucial roles in maintaining healthy relationships. However, there is a fine line between genuine care for others and self-abandonment. One way this can manifest is through a psychological defense mechanism known as “fawning.”

This phenomenon was first studied by therapist Pete Walker, who defines fawning as a survival strategy rooted in people-pleasing behavior. It often arises from a deep-rooted fear of rejection or a desire to avoid conflict at any cost. People who engage in fawning tend to prioritize the needs, wants, and emotions of others above their own. They may go to great lengths to please others, sacrificing their own well-being and personal boundaries in the process.

This video aims to shed light on fawning, explore its connection to self-abandonment, and identify signs that may indicate its presence in your life. With that said, here are 6 tell-tale signs that you’re abandoning yourself for others, according to experts:

Difficulty Setting Boundaries

Struggling to establish and enforce personal boundaries can be a red flag for fawning, says trauma therapist Canh Tran. When you struggle to set boundaries, it means you have difficulty defining and communicating what is acceptable or unacceptable to you in your relationships. You may fear that asserting your boundaries will lead to conflict or rejection. As a result, you may allow others to overstep your limits, ignore your own needs, and prioritize the needs of others instead. This can lead to a gradual erosion of your sense of self and self-worth, says Tran.

Difficulty Expressing Opinions

According to psychologist Dr. Karin Gepp, if you find it challenging to express your own opinions, preferences, or beliefs, it may indicate that you are prioritizing the views of others over your own. Authentic self-expression can be challenging because fear of disagreement or disapproval can lead to self-silencing and a loss of your authentic voice, explains Dr. Gepp. Asserting yourself and voicing your true thoughts, feelings, and opinions can trigger intense guilt or shame because you’ve internalized the belief that your needs are less important than those of others.

Overextending Yourself

Another common behavior among those who abandon themselves for others, says Dr. Gepp is taking on more responsibilities and tasks than you can reasonably handle. This is because people who struggle with fawning often feel obligated to fix or rescue people from their problems, resulting in an excessive amount of commitments. This overextension can lead to exhaustion, burnout, neglect of self-care, and a lack of time and energy to focus on your own needs and personal growth.

Lack of Reciprocity

According to an article published by the Khiron Trauma Clinic, people who abandon themselves for others often struggle to receive the same level of dedication and emotional support they put into their relationships. So if this rings true for you, you most likely don’t even ask nor accept support from others because of an internalized belief that your needs are less important or that you must always be the caretaker. But by refusing support, you reinforce the pattern of neglecting your own needs and denying yourself the help that could contribute to your well-being.

Tolerating Disrespectful Behavior

Continuously tolerating disrespectful or abusive behavior from others without asserting yourself or taking appropriate action is another strong indicator of self-abandonment, according to therapist Canh Tran. Abandoning yourself for others can lead to a tolerance for disrespectful or abusive behavior from others. Due to a fear of conflict or rejection, you may find it challenging to assert yourself or establish boundaries when faced with disrespectful treatment. This tolerance perpetuates the cycle of self-abandonment and can have negative consequences on your self-esteem and overall well-being.

Emotional Exhaustion

Engaging in fawning behavior can be emotionally draining, says Dr. Gepp. Constantly catering to the needs of others can leave you feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, and emotionally depleted. And despite your efforts to please others, you may find that you still feel a sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction with yourself. This lack of fulfillment stems from neglecting your own needs and passions in favor of meeting the expectations of others. Consistently neglecting your own needs and feelings can lead to emotional fatigue and potential burnout.

These signs highlight the impact of self-abandonment can have on various aspects of our lives, including emotional well-being, boundaries, and support systems. Recognizing the signs of fawning and its connection to abandoning oneself for others is crucial for personal growth and well-being. By becoming aware of these patterns, you can begin to work towards reclaiming your sense of self, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering a sense of balance and self-care in your relationships.

So, Psych2Goers, what are your thoughts on this video? Did it emotionally resonate with you? If so, how do you plan to return to yourself today? Let us know in the comments down below! And if you found this valuable/helpful, please support our work by leaving a like, comment and subscribe.

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