At the end of a long day, do you ever just want to fall on your bed and tune out from the world?
The world can be a daunting, overwhelming place at times. And seeking refuge from uncertainties is one of the ways to protect you from the chaos of the outside world.
Being a loner may have negative connotations at first glance, but studies reported and reviewed by board-certified pediatrician Dan Brennan say that being a loner can lead to happiness for the individual and could actually be good for your health. (WebMD)
However, it’s also important to be aware of the difference between useful solitude and dangerous isolation, as these lines can blur.
Here are 6 signs that you’re born to be a loner.
1) You enjoy your alone time
Do you love it when your weekends are free from any plans?
Loners enjoy themselves when their free time is spent solely by themselves, consumed in their favorite pastimes. They dedicate their time tinkering with their personal projects and unleash their creativity and resourcefulness during these hours. If a loner gets surprise visits from friends or family members, they’d be more irritated than joyful since entertaining people can be draining to them.
2) You despise large crowds
Do you dislike going to loud parties with a horde of unfamiliar faces standing inches away from you?
Most self-proclaimed loners don’t enjoy the rush of parties, and would rather spend their time alone or with someone they trust. More than anything, loners despise being called to the spotlight and gathering attention from people they don’t know. When in the midst of attention, the loner would want more than anything to slink back and remove themselves from the situation altogether, fading into the solace of the background.
3) You are independent
Do you consider yourself as a reliable person and find dealing with others a pain in the back?
As a loner, you don’t go after people when they choose to walk away. You are fiercely independent, even finding people more trouble than they’re worth at times. At school, a high-performing loner would feel the need to take up the task of their underperforming groupmate during class projects if they’re doing an especially bad job, even if they hate the idea of carrying someone else. Aside from that, as a loner, you aren’t afraid to act as the lone wolf and stand up to your beliefs as well.
4) You maintain your boundaries
Do you have a sacred space that you don’t show to anyone else?
If someone oversteps a loner’s boundaries, a loner would be terribly uncomfortable and feel that their privacy is being invaded. In the same way, a loner also respects the boundaries of their interlocutor and does their due diligence in ensuring that they don’t overstep their boundaries as well. So for the people that a loner does enjoy being with (which is not a lot, mind you!), they carry mutual respect with each other and consider them an easy companion to be around.
5) You avoid drama
Do you dislike conversations about gossip and rumors?
Loners, at their core, are not people-oriented. So when the conversation turns towards something that borders or falls into talking behind people’s backs, the loner may either shift the conversation to something more interesting or zone out altogether. For most loners, the people that they do willingly interact with may tend to share the same value sets as well, choosing to converse about hobbies and events rather than the latest gossip.
6) You are self-aware
Do you know every part about your personality – the good and the bad?
A loner spends the bulk of their time with themselves. This grants them less time talking with other people, and more time talking and understanding themselves. As such, they are highly introspective and have a microscope over their flaws and their strengths. And for the healthy loner, working on their strengths and upskilling is one way to keep them both healthy and happy.
Do you relate to any of the traits listed above? How does being a loner sound like to you?
Remember that being someone who enjoys being alone and someone who hates being alone is two different things. Loners can be perfectly healthy people, but lonely people that feel that they’re in the extremities of loneliness are out there too.
That’s all for now, Psych2Goers.
Brenann, Dan. Dec 2020. WebMD Signs of a Loner. Retrieved at https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-loner
Ro, Christine. Feb 2018. BBC. Why being a loner may be good for your health. Retrieved at https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180228-there-are-benefits-to-being-antisocial-or-a-loner
N/A. April 2018. Truth Inside Of You. If You Have 5 Out of These 6 Traits, You Were Born to Live Alone Retrieved at https://www.truthinsideofyou.org/5-6-traits-born-live-alone/
N/A. N/D. Positive Things Only. 6 Signs You Were Born to Be a Loner!. Retrieved at http://www.positivethingsonly.com/6-signs-born-loner/
SlightlyBetter. Feb 20, 2021. If You Relate to These 6 Signs, You Were Born to Be a Loner. Youtube. Retrieved at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGeLP_htQEY&ab_channel=SlightlyBetter