6 Signs You’re Depressed, NOT Selfish

(This is a disclaimer that this article is for informative and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional if you are struggling.)

It’s been said that relationships are a two-way street, with the implication that you get out what you put in. How do you preserve your relationships with others when your mental health is affecting your ability to support them? How can you keep in touch with people closest to you, when you are so occupied with your thoughts and ruminations that it never enters your mind to check in on them? Of course, a single blunder is understandable. But how do you persuade people to continue investing time and energy in you when you’re dealing with persistent, long-term depression? How can you explain that you’re not being selfish but are merely undergoing an endless, difficult period?

Depression is not just warping your sense of time; it’s also making you unable to see the world clearly. You might find yourself sinking into an unending abyss, where everything seems dark and meaningless. It narrows the gap between you and those around you. You’re so distracted with your thoughts that it feels impossible to focus on anything else. But it can be hard for others who watch their loved ones seemingly withdraw into themselves without any explanation or regard at all. While you’re in the stage of feeling vulnerable to others’ remarks — telling you that you’re being selfish, it’s crucial to know how to filter them. In this article, we’re going to discuss the 6 signs you’re depressed, NOT selfish. This article is also intended for you to know that your experience is real and valid, and you deserve love just like everyone else.

1. You constantly withdraw.

You’re not only physically withdrawing from all your friends and family, but emotionally too. Because you feel like no one is really trying to understand the way you feel. They might be trying, but most of the time they can’t see what’s happening to your mind. You might have had the tendency to withdraw before, but it is different now because you are so absorbed in your thoughts that it feels impossible to be around anyone.

2. You don’t feel anything at all.

You can’t feel happy because happiness seems like something that is out of your reach. Even if you’re surrounded by people who care about you, seeing them happy makes you sadder because it reminds you that life is passing by and none of it matters. They might misunderstand you for taking them for granted regardless all the support you receive from them or that you’re selfish. But that’s not true.

If you relate to this, we want to remind you that you’re not alone and your feelings are real and valid.

3. You overtly talk about suicide.

Thoughts of death might come into your mind before but it is different now, because they’re becoming more frequent and realistic by the day. It’s a normal reaction for others to think that you’re being selfish for wanting to take your life, and it might sound like a shocker but thinking about committing suicide is not abnormal during depression; it doesn’t mean you actually want to act on those thoughts, but it means these thoughts taking over your life. If you’re feeling suicidal, we want to remind you that you matter and that help is out there. We’ve included a list of suicide hotline at the end of this article.

4. You don’t remember what it was like before depression took over.

People around you might think that you disregard the good things that happened to you, but depression dims your memories and makes you think that nothing good can save you anymore; not even your favorite friend who brings back old warm memories from years ago when everything seemed alright, but isn’t anymore. This symptom comes into effect when depression takes over your life completely.

5. You don’t care about anything at all.

Some People might see you being nonchalant or being straight up selfish or lazy when you don’t care about anything like you used to. It’s understandable to have lost your interest in things because of depression. Not caring about people and things around you is never your choice when it’s a prevalent symptom of depression. It makes you think everything is meaningless, and it takes over when you feel so miserable that you don’t even care about melting chocolate or your favorite ice cream anymore, or watching your favorite TV show or talking to people who used to make you happy, not even cleaning up yourself frequently and eating proper meals. You feel numb towards around you and all that makes up your life.

6. You consider your feelings more than others.

It can be hard to notice, but you tend to take your feelings accountable more than anyone else especially when you feel triggered by stressful situations like having a dispute with your loved ones. You are sensitive and protective with your feelings because you are at your limit to receive pain when you’re suffering with your thoughts inside, and thinking that the remaining piece of yourself is your feelings. As a result, you unconsciously push others away, even when you don’t mean to.

Did you relate to these signs? Comment below. If you found yourself relating with the signs mentioned above or if you think anyone in your life is going through something similar, know that this isn’t about selfishness. It’s about depression and you shouldn’t hold yourself guilty for feeling how you do when you can’t control it. Remember that your feelings are just as valid as everyone else and you are loved nonetheless. I hope you found something helpful in this article. Till next time!

Suicide Hotlines: 

America: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) 

Canada: 1-866-531-2600 

Australia: 13 11 14 

United Kingdom: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 

Beijing: 0800-810-1117 

Hong Kong: +852 28 960 000 

Japan/Tokyo: 81 (0) 3 5286 9090 

Brazil: 55 11 31514109 or (91) 3223-0074 

Mexico: 9453777 

Malaysia: 03-76272929

Germany: 0800 111 0 111 

Russia: (495) 625 3101 

India: 91-22-27546669 

Iran: 1480 South Africa: 0800 12 13 14


  1. Lear, J. (2020, December 3). When Depression Makes You Appear Selfish. HealthyPlace. https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/copingwithdepression/2020/12/when-depression-makes-you-appear-selfish

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