Breakups can be messy. When you break up with another person, or you agree to break up, you have no intention (at the time) to continue the relationship – It’s over. (Brogaard, 2016). In its essence, breakups are melancholic events that take time to heal from, and resulting emotions like shock, denial, fear, and loneliness are common.
Are you currently going through a breakup? How are you taking it? What kind of emotions did you experience when you broke it off with your significant other? Do you feel like you haven’t moved on yet? In this article, we will be taking a look at 6 signs you’re not truly over a breakup.
1 – Everything reminds you of them.
What kind of things remind you of your ex? Is it the movie theatre you always went to? The food you ate together? Certain music? For the first few weeks or months after a breakup, you may see your ex everywhere. Yes, this may include even the most random objects such as toothbrushes or packs of ramen. We may even call this the “ex-haunting period”. Couples tend to do a lot of things together, and the loss of that certain companion can make it difficult to continue performing those activities alone.
2 – You take excessive measures to avoid your ex.
Whether it’s going to a longer route while walking just to avoid encountering them or staying away from your mutual friend group, are you doing all kinds of things just to stop thinking about your ex? Have you experienced deleting a whole photo album on your phone with you and your ex’s pictures? Did you throw out or hide their things? There are a number of studies, such as of Helen Fisher, that show that the chemical reaction caused by love in the brain is similar to that caused by drugs (Ratson, 2016). In order to move on, you may find it better to completely stay away from the source rather than have it bring back depressing and regretful feelings upon seeing it.
3 – You’re desperate to meet new people.
Are you currently experiencing strong feelings of wanting to go out more, hang out with friends, and party? Do you suddenly (even more than the usual) want to meet new people for the purpose of finding friends, hookups, or even potential relationship partners? People can actually become needy after a breakup, and this often occurs when they are dependent on their ex for their security, for love, for their self-worth, and for happiness (Thompson, 2018). If this applies to you, then the loss of your ex becomes a threat to what is mentioned.
4 – You flamboyantly prove that you are over them.
This type of behavior is commonly seen nowadays on social media. Have you ever tried posting or reposting content about moving on? Are you suddenly becoming more open about the exciting things happening in your life? Is your Instagram starting to get full of your pictures out on vacation, wearing nice clothes, and going out on dates? Doing so is a way of getting back at your ex after the desolate emotions during the breakup period. Sometimes, this can help you regain your confidence but don’t overdo it though, since moving on in a healthy way is the best way.
5 – They (still) always catch your eye.
When you’re in the same room, do your eyes automatically gravitate to where your ex is? Do you notice the slightest gestures they make? In a crowd, can you immediately point out where they are? Once you are in a relationship, you get accustomed to your partner’s behavior, habits, and reactions. It might take some time to familiarize yourself with the disconnection between the both of you, but it will happen. You may try distracting yourself by picking up new hobbies, indulging in self-care, and being patient with yourself.
6 – It hurts when they talk about meeting someone new.
Does the news of your ex meeting new people bring you down in the dumps? Does it make you feel negative emotions like jealousy, sadness, and pain? Being hurt is an inevitable part of moving on. Eventually, your ex will find a new person in their life and so will you. You can try giving yourself some time to be sad and angry. This can help you on your journey to acceptance, which is understanding that an important chapter of your life has closed and you are now ready for the next page.
How did you find this article? Do you think you’re not over your breakup? Can you relate to the points mentioned above? Which one do you agree and disagree with? Please share your relationship and breakup experiences with us in the comment section, we would appreciate hearing about them. Thank you for reading!
Brogaard, B. (2016, January 17). This Is the Difference Between a Breakup and a “Break.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201601/is-the-difference-between-breakup-and-break
Maldonado, J. (2021, July 1). 7 Common Emotions You’ll Feel After a Breakup and How to Cope. PairedLife. https://pairedlife.com/breakups/We-just-broke-up-How-am-I-suppose-to-feel
Ratson, M. (2017, December 7). Why Is It So Hard To Get Over A Breakup? HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-is-it-so-hard-to-get-_3_b_12422508
Saad, S. K. (2021, March 23). 10 Things You Can Do to Stop Thinking About Your Ex. Cosmopolitan. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a35756557/how-to-stop-thinking-about-someone/
Thompson, K. (2018, July 10). Why People Become So Desperate And Needy After Breakup. Ex Back Permanently. https://exbackpermanently.com/why-people-become-so-desperate-and-needy-after-breakup/
Valev, N. (2015, October 28). 7 Healthy Ways To Get Closure & Finally Move On. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/articles/117891-7-healthy-ways-to-get-closure-finally-move-on