Have you heard of the term emotional neediness? While it may sound very negative, it just means that you may have the tendency to depend on others too much to validate or approve you, or your emotions.
Know that some level of neediness is part of human nature, and many of the signs that may make someone overly needy are not their fault. If you find yourself relating, remember to be kind to yourself. You can always work to correct or improve upon behaviors that might make you too needy.
With that said, here are 6 signs you’re too emotionally needy.
1. You have an unhealthy attachment style
Did you know that your attachment style can affect your emotional needs? An attachment style essentially describes the way you behave in relationships with others.
According to Your Tango, those with avoidant or anxious attachment styles may come off as more emotionally needy than others, typically more so in romantic relationships (Davin 2020). With either of these attachment styles it can be hard to feel secure in relationships and it may lead to you being a little more needy, simply to feel more secure.
To learn about attachment styles more in depth, be sure to check out some of our other videos such as “8 Signs of an Avoidant Attachment Style” and “4 Attachment Styles of Love”.
2. You’re unsure of yourself
Do you have a hard time naming your emotions? Do you often waver when you think you may be feeling a certain way?
According to Psychologist Marcia Reynolds from Psychology Today, if you find yourself with a lot of unmet or undesired emotional needs, it could be because you still haven’t tapped into those emotions yourself (Reynolds 2015). To overcome this, try journaling your thoughts and emotions as soon as they’re about to reach the surface. With time, you might realize that you’ve become a little more independent when it comes to fulfilling your emotional needs!
3. You suffer from anxiety
Do you have a singular image in your head of what anxiety looks like? Did you know that emotional neediness could also be a manifestation of anxiety?
What may come across as clinginess or neediness could actually be anxiety talking, according to San Jose Anxiety Counseling. While your partner or friend may blame you, please know that it isn’t your fault at all, and it’s nothing for you to feel bad about. Essentially, some people with anxiety feel an overwhelming need for reassurance in their relationships, and that can very easily translate into emotional neediness, whether it is conscious or not (San Jose Anxiety Counseling).
If you can relate to this, it’s completely okay. There are things you can do to combat some of these strong feelings. For example, mindfulness and meditation are great ways to cope with anxiety and that can help improve this overwhelming need.
4. You have trust issues
Do you find yourself often questioning people close to you? Does it get in the way of having healthy relationships with them?
As it turns out, jealousy in relationships as well as easily feeling abandoned are pretty strong signs of emotional neediness (Davin 2020). Both of these habits can actually be rooted in trust issues. When you have a hard time trusting your friend or partner, it is easier for you to develop feelings of jealousy and uneasiness towards your relationship.
Please note that having trust issues is not your fault, and often stems from past trauma or betrayal that has stuck with you. In order to have healthier relationships in the future though, it’s important to try and work on overcoming them!
5. You doubt yourself
Do you move through life with an underlying fear of failure? Do you often find yourself seeking reassurance?
According to “mind fitness” expert Luca Bosurgi, there are many potential causes of emotional neediness in adults, but a common theme is an abundance of self-doubt due to potential fear, anxieties, and confidence issues (Bosurgi). Self-doubt is definitely a common struggle, and we want you to know that if you have trouble feeling confident, you aren’t alone, no matter what age you may be.
Doubting yourself becomes a sign of neediness because it may cause you to lose faith in your ability to be independent and self-sufficient when it comes to your emotions.
6. You’re indecisive
Do you find it hard to make decisions on your own? Maybe, you feel like you need to consult others before feeling confident in your beliefs?
Indecisiveness is often a sign of emotional neediness because it reflects a lack of emotional independence. In order to be a decisive person, you need to be confident in your emotions and able to express them without much doubt. An indecisive person, on the other hand, often has trouble fully believing in their emotions, and may become needy.
We hope you enjoyed learning about some of the signs of emotional neediness. Could you relate? Did we miss any? Let us know. Thanks for reading!
- Bosurgi L (N.d.) “Adult Emotional Dependency (AED)”. Lucabosurgi.com. Retrieved from www.lucabosurgi.com/adult-emotional-dependency-aed/
- Davin K (2020, May 26). “9 Signs Of Emotional Neediness”. Your Tango. Love. Retrieved from www.yourtango.com/experts/kristindavin/are-you-emotionally-needy-your-relationship
- “How Anxiety Affects Relationships” (N.d.). San Jose Anxiety Counseling. Retrieved from www.sanjoseanxietycounseling.net/anxiety-treatment/relationships/
- Reynolds M (2015, November 14). “The Reason You Are Needy”. Psychology Today. Wander Woman. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/wander-woman/201511/the-reason-you-are-needy