As you might probably know, people are social beings who, overall, thrive when being part of a community. After all, could you ever imagine living a life where you are completely isolated from other people? You learn from others’ actions and ideas, you leak and share emotions with others, and form relationships that can completely change the way you see things (Morgan, 2015). This is especially true when you interact with someone who you feel extremely attracted to, someone who people nowadays refer to as a “crush”. Logically, you will invest more time and effort when interacting with this special person, leading to a stronger relationship built. However, it can also lead people to do small things that will push that special person away. So, in this article, I will be addressing 7 subtle things that might push your crush away.
Have you ever felt like you spent so much time trying to find the meaning to something your partner did only to realise it didn’t have that much meaning at all? This is a particularly common problem between partners, especially if you just started seeing them and don’t really know how they think or where they stand (Brainy Dose, 2020). This might lead to your partner starting to think that you are obsessive or that you like to blow things out of proportion, making things uncomfortable in the relationship. A very common example of this is if your partner texts you less than he usually does, and you start to assume that they are seeing someone else, or that they don’t care about you anymore.
Not giving enough space
Do you ever argue with your partner because they want to spend time alone or with their friends? This might be a telling sign that you need to give your partner some space. Yes, there is a possibility that they just want extra space to date someone else, but that is not the case for most people (Brainy Dose, 2020). Not giving enough space to your partner might make them feel like they are imprisoned, and quickly push them away. Additionally, not giving enough space to your partner might make them bored of you (Smith, 2012).
Expecting them to read your mind
Have you ever felt disappointed because your partner didn’t do exactly what you were expecting of them? Maybe you are expecting too much from them, especially if you believe that they are capable of reading your mind. Having high standards is good. It allows you to be with someone who you truly appreciate and respect. And of course, if your partner is interested enough, they invest time and effort into really getting to know you. However, this might make you think that they can read your mind, which is, for the most part, incorrect. Additionally, expecting them to be able to read your mind might lead to your partner to feel underappreciated (Alexis, 2017). Afterall, people tend to appreciate unexpected actions more than expected ones.
Trying to change them to fit yourself
Did you know there is a difference between wanting to get the best version of your partner, and wanting them to change for yourself? Often times, you might get caught up focusing more on your own good than your partner’s wellbeing. This results in you telling them to change the way they are, not because it will be better for them, but because it will be better for you. And once your partner realises this, they will most likely be pushed away because you didn’t accept them for who they are (Alexis, 2017). One example is when your partner is a caring person, and you just tell him to stop being like that so that people don’t take advantage. And even though that might be a valid point, the reason you said that was because of jealousy.
Expecting and giving too much too soon
Rushing is usually not advised for anything, especially if we are talking about building a long-lasting relationship. Has it ever been a situation where you mentioned something that requires a lot of commitment and felt that your partner drifts away a little bit? Rushing your relationship, expecting and giving too much too soon is one of the main ways you might push your partner away. Putting too much pressure on your partner to take long-term decisions when you have only started seeing and knowing each other will make them extremely uncomfortable (Sama, 2014).
Obstructing their life goals
This is one of the more serious things that you might do to push your partner away. Have you ever felt like you were dragging your partner down from achieving success on purpose? Even though this is less common than the points addressed above, obstructing your partner’s life goals will surely push them away for good (Brainy Dose, 2020). Some reasons you might obstruct them from their life goals include being jealous and not wanting to be left behind.
To conclude this article, it is very important to remember that every person is different, and some of the points above might not matter to different people. But overall, avoiding the points addressed will most likely have good results on your relationship, both for you and for your partner.
Alexis, S., 2017. 7 Major Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away. [online] A New Mode. Available at: <https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/7-major-mistakes-women-make-that-push-men-away/2/> [Accessed 14 November 2020].
Brainy Dose, 2020. 13 Things Women Do That Push Men Away.
Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BjTnA_T1d4&app=desktop> [Accessed 14 November 2020].
Morgan, N., 2015. We Humans Are Social Beings – And Why That Matters For Speakers And Leaders. [online] Forbes. Available at: <https://www.forbes.com/sites/nickmorgan/2015/09/01/we-humans-are-social-beings-and-why-that-matters-for-speakers-and-leaders/?sh=ee045dd6abda> [Accessed 14 November 2020].
Sama, J., 2014. Too Much Too Soon: Why We Need To Stop Rushing Love. [online] James Sama. Available at: <https://jamesmsama.com/2014/10/07/too-much-too-soon-why-we-need-to-stop-rushing-love/> [Accessed 14 November 2020].
Smith, S., 2012. Forget Sex, The Secret To A Long-Lasting Relationship Is Space. [online] The Sydney Morning Herald. Available at: <https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/forget-sex-the-secret-to-a-longlasting-relationship-is-space-20121105-28tle.html#:~:text=So%20why%20is%20space%20so,relax%20without%20responsibilities%20to%20others.%22> [Accessed 14 November 2020].