Hi, Psych2goers. We’re going to explore certain statements that can sound inappropriate to some asexuals. Disclaimer: Since asexuality is complex, the following sentences may vary from person to person. This is also a casual topic and not to be taken seriously in scientific terms.
1. “How do you know if you’ve never experienced it?”
For asexuals, it is something they know in their hearts about their sexual orientation. People fall differently on the spectrum, such as ranging from not wanting any to wanting it due to specific goal, such as having children (Kelly, 2015).
2. “No one will want to be with you.”
This can be one of the most hurtful things to say to an asexual. There are many types of relationship that don’t necessarily involve sex. Some can maintain relationships through conversations, physical contact such as hugging and kissing and much more (Kelly, 2015).
3. “It’s just a phase.”
Still, there are many people assume that asexuality is only a short period of time, however, that is not typically the case. By saying that just means there is misunderstanding in asexuality or sexual orientation in general (Kelly, 2015).
4. “You should see a psychiatrist.”
This statement can be one of the most offensive to any asexuals or even to anyone. Asexuals have their own choice and a lot of people just view it as a disorder that needs to be cured by someone (Pappenheim, 2018).
5. “Maybe you haven’t met the right one yet.”
People usually don’t address this in a harmful way, but some asexuals may see this statement as a missed target. They don’t really understand the state of being an asexual so they don’t realize that it can sound like an insult (Pappenheim, 2018).
6. “You’re too scared.”
Not everyone seeks sexual pleasure in relationships and some asexuals are part of them. Yes, asexuals do cherish relationships but more with physical intimacy as mentioned in the point 2 (Pappenheim, 2018).
What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with any of them? Leave your comments below!
Kelly, K. (2015, May 15). 8 Things You Should Never Say to an Asexual Person. Every day feminism. https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/never-say-to-asexual-person/
Pappenheim, J. (2018, March 7). Things asexuals really wish you’d stop asking them. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/1751928e-93bd-452f-8ff3-38518f765696