There are very few things in life worse than the feeling of being forgotten and left out. It hurts to be ignored by the people you care about, and even more so when you don’t know why. It might be because they’re going through a rough patch right now and need some time for themselves to figure things out, or you may be reading too much into what they do and say that you start to see ill intent where there isn’t actually any. Either way, you shouldn’t be too worried. It’s probably just temporary, and things will start to brighten up over time.
However, when it’s not just one or two people for a couple of days, but almost everyone in your life that seems to be avoiding you and keeping their distance from you, then that’s a definite cause for concern. It might be time for you to reflect on what it is that you may be to doing that’s turning people off from you. Sometimes we push people away without meaning to. We don’t notice when we make them uncomfortable or hurt their feelings until we find ourselves all alone, with no one to turn to.
With that said, here are 7 reasons why people might be ignoring you:
1. You’re Too Needy
Everyone struggles with insecurity at one point or another in their lives, but you shouldn’t let it get the better of you and make other people deal with your insecurities, too. It can make you needy, clingy, and dependent, to the point where others won’t want to be around you anymore. A needy person seeks wants to be reassured of their self-worth so often that it gets annoying, and being around them feels more like a burden or a chore, rather than enjoyable company.
2. You’re Too Negative
Are you constantly complaining to your friends about all the things that go wrong in your life? Do you unload all your troubles on them every time you see each other? If you answered yes, then you should be careful. You could be pushing away everyone in your life with your constant negativity. There’s no arguing that mental illness is certainly no laughing matter, and if you struggle with anxiety or depression, you’d know that it’s a very serious thing to have to go through. However, others might have a hard time relating to you and making an emotional connection with you when you’re being so negative all the time. It’s best to seek professional help and try to get better first, before pursuing any kind of relationship seriously.
3. You’re Too Self-Centered
Another reason why people may be steering clear of you is that you’re too self-centered. After all, who wants to have a conversation someone who only ever wants to talk about themselves? Who’d want to be friends with a person who only ever cared about their own wants and needs? When you’re so caught up in your own thoughts, feelings, and ideas that you fail to show interest in what other people have to say, then nobody will ever want to be with you.
4. You Don’t Listen
Being opinionated and assertive aren’t necessarily bad qualities, but it’s important to give other people a chance to speak, too. If you don’t hear out what anyone else has to say and constantly talk over everyone all the time, you’ll get on a lot of people’s nerves and make them turn against you. They’ll think you’re stubborn, close-minded, and can’t be reasoned with, so the only thing left for them to do is to just ignore you.
5. You’re Too Mean
It can be hard for us to realize when we go too far and hurt other people’s feelings sometimes. Instead, it’s usually only when they’ve had enough and walk away from us do we see all the terrible things we’ve done. Do you have a tendency to make jokes about your friends and tease them about things you know make them feel insecure? Do you point out their mistakes and have a laugh at their expense sometimes? Even if you only meant it as good-natured fun, other people might not see it that way. In fact, they’ll likely give you the cold shoulder and start ignoring you on account of your bad behavior.
6. You’re Too Intense
When you’re too intense all the time, people tend to react by being dismissive, indifferent, and tuning you out. It can be exhausting having to deal with someone so emotionally volatile; they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you because every little thing seems to upset you. You’re quick to get angry, hold grudges against people, overreact to situations, and spend most of your time ranting and arguing. This kind of intensity can chase people away and make them think you’re too high-maintenance to be with.
7. You’re Too Distant
Finally, one reason why people might be keeping their distance from you is if you act distant in the first place. You may be too guarded and reserved when interacting with others, which could then be misunderstood as aloofness and detachment. People may assume that you’d rather be alone and that you don’t want to be around anyone, so they give you plenty of space. They’re unsure whether or not you want them around, because you act so impassive and indifferent to their company. In truth, however, you’re just too shy to tell them all how you really feel and what you really want.
While some people are effortlessly charming and likable, there are also those who are socially awkward and struggle to make friends. When you’re the latter, it can be hard not to feel jealous of the social butterflies around you. We can’t help but feel bad when other people reject our company, because it’s human nature to want the acceptance of others.
If you relate to any of the 7 reasons we’ve listed above here, then it’s time to make some positive changes in yourself and work towards becoming more considerate, sociable, and enjoyable to be around.
- Kiki, I. (2018). “11 Reasons Why People Ignore You.” Retrieved from https://www.lifehacks.io/why-people-ignore-you/
- Radwan, M. F. (2017). “Why Do People Ignore Others?” Retrieved from https://www.2knowmyself.com/why_do_people_ignore_others/