7 Signs of High Self-Esteem

Have you been walking around with some pep in your step? Feeling that confidence growing in you lately? Perhaps, you have discovered a new-found sense of self. Chances are that you have high self-esteem. What exactly is self-esteem? According to Mayo Clinic, “Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself- how you feel about your abilities and limitations.” That being said, those with healthy self-esteem view themselves in a positive and holistic way. They know and acknowledge their strengths and are also aware of their weaknesses or “flaws”. They are able to see themselves beyond simply the “good” and the “bad”. 

Some external factors that can influence self-esteem can include your childhood, other people’s thoughts and perceptions about you, experiences at school, home, work, or in the community, any illnesses, injuries, or disabilities, as well as your role and status in society. The University of Texas at Austin’s Counseling and Mental Health Center emphasizes the role that childhood experiences can have on one’s self-esteem, stating that “Childhood experiences that contribute to healthy self-esteem include being listened to, being spoken to respectfully, getting appropriate and affection, having accomplishments be recognized and mistakes or failures be acknowledged and accepted.” It can actually go quite surprisingly deep. Do you think you have high-self esteem? Let’s find out! Here are seven signs of high self-esteem. 

1. Practicing Consistent Self-Compassion

You have a great amount of self-esteem when you put genuine effort into taking care of yourself. Although some may view putting oneself first to be a selfish act, it is actually quite the opposite. Think about the in-flight emergency procedure announcement that flight attendants make before take-off. If you recall, they always highlight that in case of an emergency, you must put on your oxygen mask first, before helping others. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen in a flight emergency, you won’t be able to help anyone including yourself. When we fail to take care of ourselves, everyone is at a loss. You must water the tree in order for it to grow the best fruit. With high self-esteem, you make sure to nourish your mind, body, and soul in order to feel and do your best. Consistently practicing self-love, self-appreciation, and as-is self-acceptance is a great reflection of your healthy self-esteem. 

2. Recognizing & Avoiding Self-Destructive Behaviors

When you have high self-esteem, you are able to see when you are having a mental setback, and can therefore watch out for and avoid self-destructive behaviors. A self-destructive behavior is any emotionally or physically “reckless” action that one does in order to punish themselves, and they can come in all shapes and sizes. When you have a healthier mindset and outlook towards life, you understand your own self-worth and know that there are healthier ways to cope with stress and feelings of anxiety. People with healthy self-esteem are aware that life comes with its many ups and downs, and that the downs are not the end all be all. 

3. Encouraging & Uplifting Others 

As brought up earlier, having high self-esteem is great for yourself and others around you. You are able to see yourself and the world from a humbled perspective, and don’t need to waste time or energy feeling inadequate, or on the other end of the spectrum, putting others down to feel better about yourself. Someone with high self-esteem makes sure to build their peers and family members up, while also validating them to feel that their thoughts, opinions, and feelings matter and are heard. This is because when we are satisfied with who we are, we want others to see the same thing in themselves. You find that building each other up invites positivity and a great sense of community- just one of the many beautiful qualities of being someone with high self-esteem.

4. Accepting Responsibility for Yourself

Having relatively high self-esteem also comes with accepting full responsibility for your actions and your life as a whole. You understand the importance of believing in your ability to influence your character and course of life. When something doesn’t go your way, you are in the know of how much control you might have had in the situation, and if you didn’t have any in that case, you come to terms with it and find healthy ways to move forward. Those with high self-esteem have the unique ability to adjust their thinking patterns for a growth mindset, instead of a fixed mindset. Weber State University agrees, stating that “Healthy self-esteem helps you maintain a positive outlook even when you don’t meet expectations, as you can be more open to feedback and growth opportunities.”. The key to developing your mind to think this way is to practice self-acceptance. When you have strong self-esteem, you are accepting of the situation and the way you are. You acknowledge the areas where you went wrong, and know better than to play the blame game by pointing fingers at others. You take responsibility for the way your life is, whether it may be good or bad. You are always mindful and aware of your actions and the effect they can have on your life, as well as the lives of those you surround yourself with. 

5. Being More Open to Taking Risks 

Those with higher self-esteem tend to be more open to taking risks. Why? Well, when you have a solid amount of confidence and believe in your abilities, you wouldn’t mind taking chances. You keep your integrity close so that even when the outcome is uncertain in any situation, you are willing to still give it your best shot. Now even in this case, the risks you take are still carefully thought about to some extent rather than a hasty impulse. When you look back and reflect on your actions and choices that you have made over the course of your life, you don’t want to be left with any regrets. 

6. Being Assertive In Expressing Needs & Opinions 

Another telling sign of someone with high self-esteem would be if they are assertive in expressing their needs and opinions. You recognize your own self-worth and set expectations and boundaries which you make sure that others respect. When you have higher self-esteem, you make sure that your needs are met, and that you surround yourself with people who have similar values. You understand your own needs and desires, and find ways to fulfill them to truly have control over yourself and feel at your best. You are also not afraid of confrontation when it is necessary. But most importantly, while doing so, you understand the difference between confidence and arrogance. 

7. Having Extraordinary Resilience

Last but surely not least, people with strong self-esteem are extremely resilient. You are not afraid of setbacks or failures, and are very persistent towards reaching your own personal dreams and goals. You don’t let your falls be the end of your journey, but rather the beginning of another. You learn from heart breaks and mistakes so that you become a better person in the face of new obstacles- and rejection only makes you more determined to prove your abilities and unlock your potential. Sure, high self-esteem or not, we are all humans who have to face both the good and bad days in life. You may have a few hiccups along the way, and you may take breaks, but you will never actually pull the breaks on the path to reaching a certain goal. Another unique quality about having high self esteem is that you have your own definition of success, as well as your own path to get there. You don’t find the need to get the approval of others, but do appreciate encouragement along the way. You truly value the journey to your destination. 

Having strong-self esteem is one of the most admirable, yet difficult skills to obtain in life. Self-esteem can sometimes be the only difference in someone who gives up when faced with a challenge, versus someone who keeps moving along. The way we view ourselves can often change the way we view the world. So for those of you out there with  strong self-esteem, keep walking along with your head held high! 

References

1. Gilbertson, T., LPC. (2016, May 5). 9 Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem. Tina Gilbertson. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from https://tinagilbertson.com/self-esteem-signs/
2. Self-Esteem. (n.d.). Psychology Today. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-esteem#signs-of-strong-self-esteem
3. Self-Esteem. (n.d.). The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from https://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html
4. Self-Esteem. (n.d.). Weber State University Counseling & Psychological Services Center. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from https://www.weber.edu/CounselingCenter/self-esteem.html
5. Self-esteem check: Too low or just right? (2020, July 14). Mayo Clinic. Retrieved March 8, 2021, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20047976