Do you think of yourself as an attractive person? On a rate of 1-10, how would you rate yourself in terms of attractiveness? Chances are, whatever you answered isn’t an accurate enough measure of your own attractiveness. And though it’s only natural to wonder what other people think of us in terms of our looks and personality, sometimes our own self-doubts and insecurities keep us from seeing just how much those around us actually like and admire us!
So if you’re one of those people who have a bad habit of putting themselves down and underestimating themselves (thinking you’re not good-looking enough, smart enough, or interesting enough for people to like), then we’re here to prove you wrong! With that said, here are 7 signs to look out for that mean people secretly find you attractive:
1. They like to look at you.
Of course we all know it’s only natural for people to send longing stares at their crushes when they think they aren’t looking, but have you ever been at the receiving end of one of those dreamy gazes? Chances are, if you have, you probably took it the wrong way! Because when people tend to stare at us and pay special attention to us, it makes us feel awkward and self-conscious. So much so that we start to wonder if there’s something weird about the way we look or how we’re dressed. But if you notice people looking at you a lot, it may be because they secretly find you attractive (Zhang, et al., 2017).
2. They enter your personal bubble.
Do you have a problem with people always invading your personal space? Whether they are good friends or just acquaintances, people gravitate towards you a lot. Strangers sit close to you on the bus or the train; people often greet you with hugs and warm touches; and everyone you talk to seems to lean in and try to get as close as possible when you speak. All of these examples are nonverbal cues that signify (romantic or platonic) attraction (Montoya, Kershaw & Prosser, 2018).
3. They seem flustered by you.
According to psychology, feeling attraction towards another person often triggers a feeling of “good stress” within us, and this “good stress” is what causes us to have nervous reactions like fidgeting, stuttering, laughing a lot, walking awkwardly, stroking the back of our neck, or feeling at a loss for words. Sound familiar? If people often seem flustered, nervous, or intimidated by you, it could very well be because they feel attracted to you and are trying their best to hide it.
4. They often come up to talk to you.
Have you ever noticed that the most popular people tend to be the most good-looking as well? That’s because physical attractiveness plays a big part in a person’s popularity and likeability (Dion & Stein, 2008). When we feel attracted to someone, it makes us want to talk to them and spend more time with them. We want to flirt with them; banter with them; share stories with them; make them laugh; and have fun, interesting conversations with them because we are all hard-wired to think that attractive people make for better company.
5. They rarely compliment you.
Yes, it sounds counterintuitive, but the reality is when other people think you’re attractive, they will rarely compliment you anymore. Why? Because they assume that everything good they find about you, you already know! Did you dress up in a cute new outfit today? Or impress yourself giving an important presentation? People will most likely just give you an apathetic acknowledgement (“You look nice” or “Oh, good for you”) and nothing more because they think that you’re aware of your own attractiveness and don’t need any reminding about it.
6. They’re surprised by your insecurities.
For reasons similar to the previous point, people will often be surprised by your insecurities if they find you attractive. They are caught off guard every time you talk yourself down or open up about something you don’t like about yourself. This is because, from their point of view, someone as attractive as you shouldn’t be insecure about anything. Think about it! Who is the most attractive person you know? Do you think they have anything they should feel insecure about? No, right? But the truth is everyone has insecurities and struggles with self-esteem from time to time, and attractive people aren’t any different.
7. They act extremely towards you.
Finally but perhaps most importantly, if you are an attractive person, people may display a more positive or negative attitude towards you than they normally would (Thomas & Johnson, 2017; Lin, Hoegg & Aquino, 2018). Some people may become nicer and more polite, offering to do favors for you or being more understanding of your mistakes for example. While others may feel jealous, insecure, and resentful of your attractiveness, and so, feel like they have to compete with you for everything and tear you down by criticizing you or gossiping about you.
So, do you relate to any of the signs we’ve mentioned here? Are you starting to realize that people may find you more attractive than they let on? Like we said before, it’s common for a lot of us to doubt our own attractiveness and struggle with our insecurities. But focusing too much on all your flaws and shortcomings keeps us from seeing all the things that make us wonderful, great, and unique. Take a page from everybody else’s book and start to look at yourself through your most admirable qualities and characteristics more often.
- Zhang, Y., Wang, X., Wang, J., Zhang, L., & Xiang, Y. (2017). Patterns of eye movements when observers judge female facial attractiveness. Frontiers in psychology, 8, 1909.
- Montoya, R. M., Kershaw, C., & Prosser, J. L. (2018). A meta-analytic investigation of the relation between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior. Psychological bulletin, 144(7), 673.
- Dion, K. K., & Stein, S. (2008). Physical attractiveness and interpersonal influence. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 14(1), 97-108.
- Thomas, T., & Johnson, J. (2017). The Role of Celebrity Attractiveness & Celebrity Trustworthiness on Effectiveness of Social Advertising. Vilakshan: The XIMB Journal of Management, 14(2).
- Lin, L., Hoegg, J., & Aquino, K. (2018). When beauty backfires: the effects of server attractiveness on consumer taste perceptions. Journal of Retailing, 94(3), 296-311.