Have you ever liked someone so much it scared you? Or felt so strongly about a friend but didn’t quite know what to do with it? Even if your answer is no, a lot of us have probably found ourselves in this position at some point in our lives, or been on the other side of it. Feelings can be tricky to navigate, especially if you’re not sure yet how the other person feels or if they feel it as much as you do. Lucky for us, we have psychology on our side to help figure all this out and read between the lines.
With that said, here are 7 tell-tale signs that someone’s feelings for you run deeper than you may realize:
1. They can’t keep their eyes off of you.
What might be the most obvious sign of adoration and infatuation, when someone can’t help but get lost in your eyes, then you know they’ve fallen for you pretty hard (Fehr, 2013). They love looking at you, flaws and all, and can never seem to go too long without sneaking a glance your way. They shower you with compliments about your smile, your hair, your eyes, your clothes, your laugh — you name it! They are absolutely enthralled by you and can’t seem to ever get enough.
2. They love being around you.
Do they text you first thing in the morning and last thing before they sleep? Do they often seem eager to make plans with you and spend as much time as they can together with you? It’s the little things, like always asking about your day, wanting to know what you’re up to, asking when you’ll be free to hang out, that tell you more about their true feelings than any long-worded love letter or grand gesture ever could — which brings us to our next point!
3. They’re always giving you their time.
Without you even having to ask for it, you know this person will always make time for you when you need it. Caring, thoughtful, and attentive, they take extra care to make you feel supported, loved, and valued no matter how busy their schedule. Have a big recital or presentation coming up? They’re sure to be there to cheer you on! Feeling down lately and in desperate need of a break? Just give them a call and they’ll come over with good food and good conversation.
4. They’re always smiling and flirting with you.
When someone is very taken with you, you don’t have to do a lot of guessing to figure it out because they’ll constantly smile and laugh whenever you’re around, not to mention flirt with you every chance they get (Braxton-Davis, 2010). It’s not hard to get them to perk up or be in a good mood around you — they usually already are! And even the most shy and reserved of people can easily turn smooth, playful, and witty around someone who’s captured their heart.
5. They shower you with thoughtful gestures.
Be it hugs, compliments, surprises, notes, gifts, or acts of service, someone who has strong feelings for you is sure to shower you with a lot of thoughtful and affectionate gestures they don’t usually give anyone else. They don’t mind going that extra mile just to make your day and see you smile because when you love and care for someone deeply, their happiness is your happiness, as cliche as it might sound.
6. They value and respect your opinion.
What’s your favorite thing to do for fun? Where do you think you should go this weekend? Or what do you think they should do about this certain dilemma? Whatever the topic might be, this person is always seeking you out and wanting to know your two cents. Why? Because they value and respect your opinion. And we don’t value someone’s opinion so much if we don’t admire them a lot and feel very strongly about them in some way (Kogan, Yu & Brown, 2016).
7. It seems they have something more they want to say.
Finally but perhaps most importantly, if you think things are going really well with that special someone you’re seeing, but lately, you’ve been getting the sense that they’re holding back a bit, they might just be afraid to tell you the true depth of their feelings for you! This is especially true if you’re still in the early stages of your relationship (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2005). They probably just don’t want to scare you off by coming on too strong.
So, do you relate to any of the things we’ve mentioned here? Is there someone in particular you were hoping to understand more with regards to how they felt about you? A lot of the time, we scare ourselves with our own feelings and just keep them to ourselves, lest we risk heartbreak and humiliation. If reading this article however has made you realize that someone has very strong feelings for you and you feel the same way, then don’t miss out on the chance to tell them! Be the first to take that step and bravely confess to them how you really feel. Most likely, it’ll be like a dream come true for the other person.
- Fehr, B. (2013). The social psychology of love. The Oxford Handbook of Close Relationships, 201-233.
- Braxton-Davis, P. (2010). The social psychology of love and attraction. McNair Scholars Journal, 14(1), 2.
- Kogan, S. M., Yu, T., & Brown, G. L. (2016). Romantic relationship commitment behavior among emerging adult African American men. Journal of Marriage and Family, 78(4), 996-1012.
- Knapp, M. L., & Vangelisti, A. L. (2005). Relationship stages: A communication perspective. Interpersonal communication and human relationships, 36-49.