This article is for educational purposes and is not designed to suggest that if people exhibit these signs, that they may be secretly attracted to you. There may be other signs as well which be unique and individual to each person which may indicate that they are attracted to you. These are just some of the main signs and some are supported by research.
Some people may find it hard to communicate their feelings for somebody so often, this may go unsaid. However, behaviour and actions can speak louder than words, so with that in mind, here are 7 signs that somebody might be secretly attracted to you.
- They gaze at you and make eye contact.
Ever noticed when somebody is holding their gaze on you?
Experts from the University of Stirling and University of Wolverhampton cited in a study that making eye contact helps people remember you better long after you have talked to them (Fullwood and Doherty-Sneddon, 2006). When people want to make a last lasting impression on another person, they will try to hold that gaze in an attempt to form a deeper connection. Eye contact is a powerful gesture and studies have proven that people are more drawn to someone based on their gaze’s direction and their enchanting smile (PowerofPositivity, 2018).
2. They will mirror or mimic you.
This one probably sounds a little bit odd however experts call this Mirror Neuron System that humans during the ancient period also observed (Winerman, 2005) As social beings, it’s a fundamental way humans are wired even though mirroring or mimicking is both a conscious and unconscious behaviour (PowerofPositivity, 2018) which establishes rapport between people. It could be body language such as playing with your hair, or smiling. Experts say that mimicking can produce positive feelings and is not limited to body movements. For example, if you have a preference for a certain colour that you like to wear, they may wear an item of clothing in that colour.
3. Men, in particular, may have ‘Hero Instinct’
Men have a built in desire for something that goes beyond love or sex (Brown, 2019) and their biological drive to feel essential towards a possible partner is often what separates ‘liking’ somebody to ‘loving somebody’. Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it ‘The Hero Instinct’ (Brown, 2016) where a male will want to provide and protect his potential partner. So if you notice that your male friend or potential love interest is wanted to support you and is more protective over you, then there is a chance that they may be attracted to you.
4. They might initiate physical contact (but not overstep boundaries).
Non verbal cues area key factor in understanding whether somebody may secretly be attracted to you. According to behaviour analyst Jack Schafer, “women may lightly touch the arm of the person they are talking to. This light touch is not an invitation to a sexual encounter; it merely indicates she likes you.” (Schafer, 2016). For men, they may be more playful and out their arm around your shoulder. Just remember, people respond differently to being touched so if they pull away, they feel uncomfortable or they may just not be a touchy-feely person.
5. They might change their body presentation.
People alter their body language depending on who they are around, and they may not even know they are doing it! Both men and women alter their body language often by standing taller, pulling their shoulders back and sucking in their stomachs. A study found that having an “expansive posture” may make you more attractive (Vacharkulksemsuk, 2016). The researchers behind the study suggested that open posture might be more attractive because it hints at dominance, and that’s why people who stand or sit in that way appear more attractive. So the next time you see them ‘strutting their stuff’, it is possible that they are trying to impress you, even if they don’t consciously know it themselves (Brown, 2020).
6. They may get flustered or jealous when you talk about another potential love interest.
According to Bustle, jealousy can be a sign of attraction (Taylor-Grant, 2018). So if they are acting weird, flustered or angry when you’re talking with someone else, that could be a sign of jealousy (Brown, 2020). If they are intrigued, then they may ask you questions about the other person to see how you are feeling about them. This could go one of a few ways; this may cause them to act in the moment and ask you out or it may do the opposite if they think that they are no longer in with a chance to be with you. If you want clarity, talk to them and see how they feel. If you feel the same, act sooner rather than later and make your own intentions clear.
7. They want to spend more time with you.
One of the biggest signs that someone finds you attractive is a desire to be with you as much as possible (Lillywhite, 2020). Take a moment and consider how much time they want to spend with you, how much they text you or initiate contact with you. If you notice that this is happening more often, then there may be a strong connection between you both. You need to ask yourself if you feel this is a reciprocal relationship, otherwise you could potentially be leading them on without being fully aware.
I hope you found this article interesting and has given some clarity. Remember that not all these signs will indicate a romantic attraction so it is important to be on the same page as the other person. Overall, recognising the signs of attraction will certainly improve your dating life especially as you won’t feel the need to consistently worry about rejection.
If you have any comments or feedback, leave them in the comment box below as we love getting feedback from our readers. Hope you all have a lovely weekend. Take care of yourselves!
Brown, L. (2019). How to tell if someone likes you: 15 surprising signs! [online] Ideapod. Available at: https://ideapod.com/how-to-tell-if-someone-likes-you/.
Fullwood, C. and Doherty-Sneddon, G. (2006). Effect of gazing at the camera during a video link on recall. Applied Ergonomics, 37(2), pp.167–175.
Lillywhite, M. (2020). How To Tell If Someone Is Secretly Attracted To You. [online] Medium. Available at: https://medium.com/the-post-grad-survival-guide/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-secretly-attracted-to-you-a5c98fcbd5ab [Accessed 19 Dec. 2020].
PowerofPositivity (2018). 7 Behaviors of Someone Who Is Secretly Attracted to You ». [online] Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude. Available at: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-behaviors-of-someone-who-is-secretly-attracted-to-you/ [Accessed 18 Dec. 2020].
Schafer, J. (2016). 5 Nonverbal Clues That Someone Is Interested in You. [online] Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you [Accessed 18 Dec. 2020].
Taylor Grant, E. (2018). 7 Signs Your Partner May Be Attracted To Someone Else, But Hasn’t Acted On It. [online] Bustle. Available at: https://www.bustle.com/p/7-signs-your-partner-may-be-attracted-to-someone-else-but-hasnt-acted-on-it-15538088 [Accessed 19 Dec. 2020].
Vacharkulksemsuk, T., Reit, E., Khambatta, P., Eastwick, P.W., Finkel, E.J. and Carney, D.R. (2016). Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(15), pp.4009–4014.
Winerman, L. (2005). The mind’s mirror. https://www.apa.org, [online] Oct., p.48. Available at: https://www.apa.org/monitor/oct05/mirror Vol 36, No. 9.