Are you an emotionally healthy person? Don’t be too quick to answer that question. Emotional health can be a complex thing. To be emotionally healthy you must take into consideration how your emotions impact your relationships, work life, and social life.
Emotional health is not determined by the problems you have in life. We all have problems. Rather is it how you approach those problems, and how much you welcome the parts of life you do love.
I am emotionally healthy for the most part. It took me half my life and some great therapy sessions to get this way but I embrace life and I understand that I must take care of myself physically, spiritually and emotionally if I am to maintain it.
Emotional health has many pieces. I was born with some of them already in place and the rest I learned. However, my best friend is an emotional wreck. He is irritable and has trouble relating to almost everyone. When you first meet him you think, “what a great guy.” The more time you spend with him the more likely you are to get into a disagreement that ultimately ends in an argument. He doesn’t have any of the traits needed to be an emotionally healthy person. Don’t get me wrong he is a great guy. He just tends to be a little loud, shows little affect, and is a bit disconnected from almost everyone.
Emotional intelligence is not like your intelligence quotient (IQ) which does not change. Anyone can become more emotionally smart. So, if you are missing some of these qualities, don’t worry, it’s not too late to acquire them.
Signs You are Emotionally Healthy
This is by no means a comprehensive list and some traits have many parts to them. Becoming emotionally healthy is a life-long process so if you are missing some of these qualities, you have your whole life to learn and practice them. Though you might want to do so sooner rather than later. An emotionally healthy person is a happy person. We all want happiness.
- You are in touch with emotions – If you cannot identify your own emotions, then you will not be able to appropriately respond to other people’s feelings. You must know when you are angry, sad, afraid and excited. You must be able to name them and acknowledge that you feel a certain way without becoming overwhelmed. That means when you are upset with your partner you are able to know that you are feeling hurt or angry and then verbalize them to your partner in an appropriate way.
- You rebound from Failure – Failure is absolutely an unavoidable part of life. It makes our goals seem out of reach and our negative self-talk goes off the hook. We can give up feeling like we will never succeed so why should we bother. Emotionally healthy people ignore the “you can’t do it” gut reaction and stop the negative self-talk. Instead, they look at what they are in control of, reevaluate the situation and put in more effort. They then plan better and try a different approach.
- You believe there’s a reason for everything – The most emotionally healthy people find a meaning in the traumatic events that happen in their life. It means that while they are grieving they are also adapting and searching for ways to recognize not only what they lost, but also what they have gained.
- You like yourself – Learn to like yourself even in your worst moment. Avoid the self-criticism and the negative thoughts. Stop kicking yourself when you’re already down. Have compassion for yourself. What would you say to a friend that was dealing with whatever issue you are facing? Be encouraging and supportive and feel good about who you are.
- You see the big picture – Realize that every action has a reaction as well as a consequence. Pausing to consider how your actions are going to affect you and your situation in the future is a good sign of emotional health.
- You are resilient – Develop a plan or strategy that will give you realistic plan that you can carry out and hold a positive view of yourself. Have confidence in yo
- ur strengths and abilities.
- Be a skilled communicator – Learn to communicate with the intent to hear and see the other side. When disagreements arise, focus on problem-solving rather than fault-finding. When things do not go your way, express your feelings thoughtfully. Don’t pout or tantrum or think it’s the other person’s job to “figure it out”.
As an emotionally healthy person you can form solid connections with family members and friends. You accept help and support from people who care about you and you listen with the intent to understand.
You accept that loving is as much a part of living as breathing and you have a willingness to learn and grow through each experience in your life. You look for opportunities for self-discovery and maintain a hopeful outlook.
The most important thing you can do for your emotional health is take care of yourself. Pay attention to your feelings and needs. Make time to engage in activities that you find relaxing and exercise on a regular basis. When you are strong the world is conquerable. Now go forth and be emotionally healthy!
Kolakowski, D. S. (2013, 08 09). 7 signs of Emotional Wellness. Retrieved from HuffPost: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/shannon-kellogg-psy-d/emotional-wellness_b_3722625.html
Lillian Comas-Diaz, P. (2016). The Road to Resilience. Retrieved from American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx
unk. (07, July 09). The 7 Habits of Highly Emotionally Healthy People. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/the-7-habits-highly-emotionally-healthy-people