As we grow, we slowly develop our own definition of an ethical, moral life. The infamous Lawrence Kohlberg’s six stages of moral development are a testament to that, with each level symbolizing an individual becoming more moral and self-aware. But when it comes to being true to yourself, staying in line with your own values is only one part of the equation! What it means to “stay true to yourself” is different with everybody. With that said, let’s discuss some ways you can fine-tune your moral compass. Here are 7 signs you aren’t being true to yourself.
1. You tend to copy others
When we copy others, there’s usually an incentive to doing so. Perhaps what they did landed them a cool new job, admitted them to a competitive program, or even found their significant other. We want to recreate that same social success for ourselves, so we unknowingly start to follow in their footsteps. While there’s nothing wrong with taking advice from others, trying to blatantly copy them strips you of your individuality. Even though the goal might be the same, try to use your own uniqueness in your pursuits. In the end, you’ll be glad you did!
2. You people please
Do you have a hard time saying “no”? Do you take more things into your own hands than you can handle? If this sounds a bit like you, you might be a people pleaser. People pleasers have gentle, giving hearts. But the real danger of this comes when someone tries to take advantage of your generosity. If you constantly put others before yourself to your own dissaray, you might not be staying true to your own self.
3. How others see you defines you
This is something we’re all guilty of. It’s not an easy thing to simply stop doing, since this is something innate in ourselves as human beings. For example, guilt was once thought of as a warning sign that helps us stay in our social groups. There’s no stopping others from having opinions of you, but you should never change your life around their demands.
4. You attract drama into your life
This is an unexpected one. Sometimes, there’s nothing worse than having unneeded drama disrupting your life. Since we’re social creatures, it’s bound to happen one way or another. But if you feel like you’ve been experiencing it more than usual, it might be a distraction mechanism to deter you from more pressing matters in your life.
5. You give your power to someone else
Do you tend to let others make decisions for you? And on the flip side, do you go with what other people decide for you despite your own wants? If this sounds like something you tend to do, you might not be staying true to yourself. We were not born to unwillingly give ourselves completely to any other person. If you feel controlled by another individual, it might be time to consider a change.
6. You procrastinate
Some examples include consistently putting off small tasks or waiting to make that big career change you’ve been thinking of. Often times, underneath procrastination is actually the fear of failure. If you’ve been hesitant to do that thing you’ve been considering for a while, you might be comprimising what’s actually best for you.
7. You justify your actions
Do you find yourself justifying decisions that you once considered questionable? This sign often comes along with many of the other signs in this life. Perhaps you justify your procrastination, your actions of pleasing others, or even the times you let others take control. If this sounds like you, realize that you’re a priority, and that the decisions you should take are the ones that keep you the safest and happiest.
In any case, we want to remind our Psych2Go community that we’re our own worst critics. It’s easy to expect too much of ourselves. We urge all our readers to practice self-care and to hold compassion for ourselves. Nobody is, nor ever will be, perfect. And of course, our resources at Psych2Go will always be here to help you each step of the way.
26, Jamie Varon Updated July, and About the author Writer, “9 Subconscious Things You Do When You Aren’t Being True To Yourself.” Thought Catalog, 26 July 2020, thoughtcatalog.com/jamie-varon/2014/06/10-subconscious-things-you-do-when-you-arent-being-true-to-yourself/.
Tope, Cephas. “5 Warning Signs You’re Not Staying True to Yourself.” Live Purposefully Now, 7 May 2020, livepurposefullynow.com/signs-youre-not-staying-true-to-yourself/.