7 Signs You Should Cut All Contact With Someone
Have you ever felt drained, hurt, or just plain unhappy after spending time with someone? It might be time to consider cutting ties. Sounds harsh, right? But sometimes, walking away is the best way to protect your peace and well-being.
Imagine you have a beautiful garden. You water it, care for it, and make sure it gets enough sunlight. But then, there’s a weed that keeps coming back, taking up space, and stealing nutrients from your plants. Just like that weed, some people in your life might be draining your energy and joy.
Here’s how you can recognize when it’s time to cut contact:
You’re Guilted For Setting Boundaries
According to licensed clinical social worker Kaytee Gillis, when someone makes you feel guilty for setting boundaries, it’s a red flag that they don’t respect your needs. Imagine telling a friend you need some alone time after a tough week. Instead of understanding, they accuse you of neglecting them, saying, “I guess I’m not important enough.” This reaction shifts the focus from your need for self-care to their need for attention, and it shows that they prioritize their own desires over your comfort and autonomy.
They Block Your Personal Growth
Have you ever felt someone’s negativity becoming unbearable? Or noticed red flags you once ignored? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson explains, “Sometimes, our internal growth makes it so that we really can no longer tolerate things that we used to not be even aware of. Now, when someone invalidates your opinion or devalues your boundaries, you may feel more bothered because you’ve learned to regard yourself with more respect.” So, is someone in your life discouraging you from improving or trying new things? Are they re-opening old wounds or unhealthy patterns you’ve already overcome? If so, it might be time to consider cutting ties.
Everything is Always YOUR Fault
Being constantly painted as the “bad guy” in every argument can take a heavy toll on your emotions, undermine your self-worth, and leave you feeling invalidated. According to therapist Sharon Martin, people like this lack self-awareness and rarely change. They expect you to fix their problems while ignoring their own faults. And if they can’t own up to their mistakes, how can there ever be real growth or trust? Are you willing to carry the burden of every problem? You shouldn’t have to. In a healthy relationship — be it romantic, platonic, or familial — both parties should feel safe to express their thoughts and admit when they’re wrong without fear of constant blame.
The Bad Outweighs The Good
It’s natural to cherish the good moments in a relationship, but what happens when those moments are overshadowed by negativity and stress? Perhaps you find yourself justifying enduring the bad because of occasional glimpses of happiness. But are these sporadic positive experiences worth the ongoing emotional toll? Holding onto the hope of better times can be comforting, says psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson, but it’s essential to weigh whether the overall impact on your well-being is worth it. Stoic philosophy also advocates for accepting the reality of situations and people as they are. If someone consistently demonstrates toxic behaviors without remorse or improvement, accept this reality and disengage from them.
They Don’t Keep in Contact
Have you ever had a fake friend who only calls you to ask for favors? Or a family member who can’t be bothered with you until they need something from you? People like this only stick around when it’s convenient for them, but are gone the moment you actually want to try to have a genuine relationship with them, leaving you feeling used and unappreciated. You deserve better than being randomly ghosted without explanation.
They’re An Energy Vampire
Marcus Aurelius once said, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” But that also applies to the thoughts of the people you surround yourself with! Imagine being around someone who drains you of all your emotional energy, constantly complaining, gossiping, or stirring up drama. Their negativity feels like a weight on your shoulders, making even a simple conversation feel exhausting. Moreover, they’re so envious of others that they try to bring everyone down, undermine achievements, and play the victim to gain sympathy. Psychotherapist Dr. Annette Nuñez emphasizes the importance of safeguarding your emotional well-being. She suggests surrounding yourself with positivity and supportive relationships that uplift you instead of dragging you into negativity.
All Roads Lead To Nowhere
According to psychologist Dr. Carla Shuman, cutting ties with someone isn’t an easy decision for most people to make. But despite efforts to forgive and mend relationships, sometimes nothing changes. And it’s disheartening to keep trying without progress or mutual effort. Dr. Shuman stresses self-preservation: investing in stagnant or toxic relationships hinders your growth and happiness. Choosing to walk away isn’t giving up; it’s valuing your well-being. Focus on relationships that uplift you.
If you recognize these signs in someone in your life, it might be time to consider cutting ties. It’s not an easy decision, but remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own well-being. Sometimes, the best way to show kindness to yourself is by walking away from those who harm you. Choose to surround yourself with positivity and support, and watch how your world transforms for the better.
Feel inspired to make a change? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below! If you found this video valuable, please like and share it with others. Subscribe to our channel for more insightful content, like “How To STOP Seeking External Validation” and “6 Signs You’re Loving Someone TOO MUCH (Not Healed).” Thanks for watching!
References:
- Pugachevsky, J. (2023 Oct 25). “7 signs it could be time to cut off contact with a family member, according to a psychologist.” Business Insider. https://www.businessinsider.com/signs-to-cut-off-ties-go-no-contact-family-estrangement-2023-10
- Gillis, K. (2023 Mar 24). “When to End a Friendship: 7 Signs to Look For.” Choosing Therapy. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/when-to-end-a-friendship/
- Regan, S. (2022 Dec 20). “13 Signs Of Toxic Friends + How To Know When To Cut Ties.” MindBodyGreen. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/toxic-friends
- Martin, S. (2019 Oct 23). “It’s Okay to Cut Ties with Toxic Family Members.” Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/10/its-okay-to-cut-ties-with-toxic-family-members
- Shuman, C. (2023 Jun 30). “How to Decide Whether to Cut Someone Out of Your Life.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/from-trial-to-triumph/202306/how-to-decide-whether-to-cut-someone-out-of-your-life
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