7 Signs You’re Secretly Attractive

Many would agree that the psychology of love and attraction is easily one of the most fascinating and compelling topics the field has to offer, and the impressive amount of research it’s been able to generate in a relatively short time can certainly attest to this fact. But have you ever stopped to think about why it is we’re so interested in learning about what makes someone attractive? Well, you can probably answer that yourself even without a psychology degree: it’s because being attractive matters!

And though we might not always like to admit it, the truth is, the way other people perceive you dictates how they will treat you. That’s why attractiveness is such a valued social commodity! Being attractive makes you more likeable to others, and thus, increases your social status, number of positive relationships, likelihood of success, and overall sense of well-being. 

So, are you starting to wonder how attractive you just might be? Here are 7 signs that can help you tell if you’re actually more attractive than you think:

1. You get a lot of attention.

Have you ever walked into a room and felt uncomfortable, wondering why everyone seemed to be staring at you? Or ask yourself why people are so interested in knowing what you’re doing, where you’re going, who you hang out with, and so on? Well, from the outside looking in, it’s obvious to everyone else that these are all clear-cut signs that people find you attractive, but it’s harder to grasp when you’re at the center of all this scrutiny and attention. Make no mistake though, if you often find yourself effortlessly grabbing people’s attention, then it means they all find you attractive (Zhang, et al., 2017).

2. You easily make friends.

No matter how shy, introverted, or awkward you might be, as long as people find you attractive, most of them will probably be lining up to talk to you and be your friend. Why? And there’s actually a psychological reason behind it, too! Ever notice how the most good-looking people tend to be the most popular, too? That’s because physical attractiveness plays a big part in a person’s likeability, and when we find someone attractive, it’s only natural for us to want to approach them, talk to them, and spend more time with them (Dion & Stein, 2008). 

3. You easily make enemies.

Similar to how it’s easier for attractive people to make friends and gain popularity, the opposite is often true as well. Because when a lot of people find you attractive, it will inevitably attract feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and resentment from others, too  (Lin, Hoegg & Aquino, 2018). So if you’ve ever had people act rude or passive-aggressive towards you for no good reason, or plenty of fake friends who like to tear you down behind your back, then this might be the reason why.

4. Strangers are often nice to you.

Ever had a barista at a coffee shop write your name on the cup with a smiley face? Or have the person in front of you at the line for the grocery shop make small talk with you? Ever got anything for free just because? Or had people laugh at a joke you made even if you yourself didn’t think it was all that funny? If strangers are often nice to you for seemingly no reason whatsoever, it’s most likely because they find you attractive, and thus, feel more compelled to do small favors for you or make you smile.

young ethnic woman supporting upset female friend at home

5. People don’t ask you out a lot.

Now this one might seem a little counterintuitive, but you’d be surprised how true it is a lot of the time. Think about it. Who was the most attractive person you’ve ever had a crush on? Did you ever ask them out or tell them how you feel? Chances are, you probably answered no, because you thought they’d most likely shoot you down. “Surely someone that attractive has a boyfriend/girlfriend already, right?” or “I’m too intimidated to make a move because they seem so out of my league!” Well, everyone else seems to have come to the same conclusion about you, and that could be the reason why you don’t get asked out a lot.

man holding baby s breath flower in front of woman standing near marble wall

6. People rarely ever compliment you.

Similar to the last point, when other people secretly find you attractive, they expect you to know it, too! That’s why friends, family, and other close acquaintances will rarely ever compliment you on looking good, because to them, you always look good and you probably don’t need anyone else to tell you that. They might also be surprised to find out that there are some things about yourself and the way you look that you don’t like, because in their minds, you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about (Montoya, Kershaw, & Prosser, 2018). 

7. People don’t take you seriously.

Ever noticed how, when you’re good-looking and attractive, it’s usually all people ever notice about you? Sure, you might be incredibly smart, nice, or funny, too, but people rarely ever seem to be paying attention to that. A lot of them will mistakenly think, especially upon a first impression, that just because you’re attractive, you must have gotten to where you are today because of your looks and your looks alone. Sure, they will listen to you just fine when it comes to social matters (like what trends are in or which people you think are cool) but when it comes to more serious things like work or school, your ideas and contributions are sadly often overlooked. 

So, do you relate to any of the things we’ve mentioned here? Has reading this list made you realize you might be more attractive than you first thought? If you liked this article and want to read more about the topic, here’s what we recommend: 7 Subtle Signs of Attraction, 6 Attractive Traits That Turn People On, and 8 Flaws That Make You More Attractive.

References:

  • Dion, K. K., & Stein, S. (2008). Physical attractiveness and interpersonal influence. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 14(1), 97-108.
  • Lin, L., Hoegg, J., & Aquino, K. (2018). When beauty backfires: the effects of severe attractiveness on consumer taste perceptions. Journal of Retailing, 94(3), 296-311.
  • Montoya, R. M., Kershaw, C., & Prosser, J. L. (2018). A meta-analytic investigation of the relation between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior. Psychological bulletin, 144(7), 673.
  • Zhang, Y., Wang, X., Wang, J., Zhang, L., & Xiang, Y. (2017). Patterns of eye movements when observers judge female facial attractiveness. Frontiers in psychology, 8, 1909.

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