The idea of being judged or basing your actions to make yourself more likeable does not suit well with a lot of people. I mean, who likes doing things, not for ourselves, but only because of what other people might think? With this in mind and sticking to the idea of living for yourself and not for others, becoming a more likeable person comes with a lot of benefits. Benefits such as being able to build stronger interpersonal relationships or giving people better first impressions can create a huge positive impact in your life (Mashburn, 2010). So, in this article, I will be giving you 7 things that you could do to make people like you more.
Have you ever felt helpful after answering someone’s question? Well, being helpful and the desire to share what you know is part of human’s nature (Brandon, 2014). Asking questions will make you more likeable because people tend to lean towards people who need help, since they like being the ones who give answers. Of course, overdoing this might make you come across as dumb or annoying, so make sure to be moderate about this.
Give your time without expecting something in return
Investing time into someone is necessary for a good relationship to build. However, have you ever had any friend who only spends time with you when they need something? This type of person can come across as manipulative (Brandon, 2014). Investing time into people without expecting anything in return just shows how honest and genuine you are, making people automatically like you. For example, compare how your best friend likes to spend time with you without expecting anything in return, as opposed to someone you only know casually who will only spend time with you whenever he/she needs something.
Show your flaws from time to time
Do you feel closer to people who make mistakes, as opposed to someone who does everything perfectly? The main reason people who have flaws and show them are more likeable is that this makes others feel more relatable to them. So, showing your flaws from time to time will allow people to relate more to you. Additionally, allowing others to see your flaws from time to time also gives them a sense of trust, since you are willing to let them see both your good side and bad side (Lebowitz, 2017).
Display positive emotions as much as you can
Do you know why you, and most people in general, feel more attracted towards people who constantly display positive emotions? This occurs because of emotional contagion, which happens when you mimic the emotions and expressions of people around you, usually without conscious effort (Raypole, 2019). After all, everyone wants to feel positive emotions and be happy. So, if you were to become the source of other people’s happiness, they will naturally like you much more. Of course, you should only do it when you feel like it, since anything that can come across as fake will push people away, instead of pulling them towards you.
Be warm and competent
How much people like you depends heavily on two factors: trust, and respect. Is there a person who you like very much? How would you describe them? If you really think about it, most of it comes down to how much you trust and respect that person. Research done by Princeton University psychologists has shown that warmth and competence are directly correlated to trust and respect, respectively (Lebowitz, 2017). Showing warmth is all about being a friendly person who does not show signs of hostility towards anyone. Competence comes down to knowledge and confidence. So, make sure that you are as warm as possible to earn people’s trust, while showing that you are a competent person so that they respect you.
Care about people truthfully
Have you ever liked someone much more because they did something for you while setting aside their own interests and ambitions? This is one of the main traits of people who truly care about others. Naturally, if you can set aside your own interests and ambitions to help others, they will like you much more. This happens because people will be able to recognize the efforts that you put into focusing on someone else’s wellbeing before yours (Brandon, 2014). Once again, this must be done with certain moderation to ensure that you do not forget to take care of yourself as well.
Have a positive body language
Are you someone who already often displays positive emotions, but for some reason won’t attract many people? One of the possible reasons is that your body language has to match the emotions that you are displaying. A positive body language includes (Dreeke, 2020):
- Smiling to bring about trust from people.
- Keeping your chin angle down to avoid giving the impression of looking down on people.
- Keeping your palms up as you’re talking to give people the idea that you are open to their opinions.
The fact that body language influences your likeability is backed by research. A neuroscience research has compared smiling to other materialistic things to put into perspective. The research states that smiling gives the brain as much as pleasure as 2000 bars of chocolate or $25,0000 (Bakadesuyo, 2020). So, body language cannot be overlooked when trying to be more likeable to others.
To conclude this article, it is important to remember that, although being liked more by others brings about a lot of benefits, you should never do something that you do not feel like doing. This will most likely come off as “fake” and have the opposite effect, pushing people away from you. For example, do not try to display positive emotions when you are clearly angry or sad, or do not ask questions when you already know the answer, the tone with which you ask the question might give you away. Other than this, focusing some of your efforts into becoming a more likeable person will most likely have great benefits for your interpersonal relationships, and your happiness in general.
Bakadesuyo, 2020. How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert. [online] Bakadesuyo. Available at: <https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/> [Accessed 18 November 2020].
Brandon, J., 2014. 10 Simple Ways To Make People Like You More. [online] Time. Available at: <https://time.com/135945/make-people-like-you/> [Accessed 18 November 2020].
Dreeke, R., 2020. How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert. [online] Bakadesuyo. Available at: <https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/10/how-to-get-people-to-like-you/> [Accessed 18 November 2020].
Lebowitz, S., 2017. 12 Psychological Tricks To Make People Like You Immediately. [online] Business Insider Australia. Available at: <https://www.businessinsider.com.au/how-to-make-people-like-you-2017-3?r=US&IR=T#/#-5> [Accessed 18 November 2020].
Raypole, C., 2019. Emotional Contagion: Why Emotions Are Contagious. [online] Healthline. Available at: <https://www.healthline.com/health/emotional-contagion> [Accessed 18 November 2020].
WorkPuzzle, 2010. The Benefits Of Being Well-Liked. [online] WorkPuzzle. Available at: <http://www.workpuzzle.com/workpuzzle/2010/04/being-wellliked.html> [Accessed 18 November 2020].