Falling in love is one of the greatest pleasures of life, and it’s so rare and special that when we find someone we love and who loves us, we wish we could be with them forever. But sad to say, real life is rarely ever that simple.
A lot of us think that love means wholehearted acceptance of a person and all their flaws, but the truth is, love isn’t enough to make a relationship last. Every strong, healthy romantic relationship is built on mutual trust, respect, honesty, and dedication. And no matter how much we love someone or how much we want to be with them, your relationship isn’t going to last without all these elements.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is never easy, but sometimes it can be the right thing to do. If you stay together even when things just aren’t working out anymore, you’ll only end up making yourselves more miserable and may even grow to resent one another. You’ll end up in an unhappy, unfulfilling relationship with someone who just isn’t right for you.
So if you’re having a hard time figuring out whether you should end things with this person or give it another go, here are 8 telltale signs that it’s time to break up with them:
1. They’ve betrayed your trust
When your partner breaks your trust – whether it’s by cheating on you, lying to you, or keeping secrets from you – it can put your relationship on thin ice. Before you can move forward, they need to earn back your trust with their actions and promise not to betray you like that again. Likewise, you need to forgive them for what they’ve done. However, if you feel like your partner has hurt you too much for you to ever trust them again, then you have no choice but to break up with them and start over with someone new.
2. They refuse to change
Does your partner have a bad habit you wish they’d give up? Do you constantly get into arguments about how you there are certain behaviors you just can’t condone? Whether it’s drinking, smoking, gambling, excessive spending, or substance use, you’ve already made it crystal clear to your partner that you don’t approve of the things they’re doing, but they still refuse to change. If you don’t see them having a genuine desire or effort to quit, then they simply don’t respect you or care about you enough to listen.
3. You’re holding each other back
Everyone has dreams in life they want to fulfill, and sometimes, pursuing our goals can mean having to let go of certain people in our lives. It’s hard when you and your partner want different things, but you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your hopes and aspirations to stay with them. If you can’t find any way for the two of you to stay together and go after the things you want, then it’s never going to work out between you two. You’re better off letting them go and be free to fulfill their dreams.
4. You’re always fighting
While it’s normal for couples to argue sometimes, fighting on a regular basis is never a good thing. No matter how hard you try, you and your partner just can’t seem to agree on anything. You bicker all the time, even about unimportant things, and most of your conversations turn into a screaming match. You struggle to see eye-to-eye with them, and you can never seem to figure out a way to work things out calmly between you two.
5. Your needs aren’t being met
It’s difficult when you and your partner don’t speak the same love language. You may want more quality time with them, but they might call you too “needy” or “clingy”. They might deny you the physical affection you crave, or forget important things like your birthday or your anniversary. And even though you’ve already communicated to them what you need to feel loved by them, they don’t seem to be willing to try harder to fulfill your needs.
6. You’ve drifted apart
It could be because one of you moved away, or you’ve both been busy with your own lives. No matter the reason, being in a relationship with someone you hardly ever see and talk to anymore is barely a relationship at all. You don’t ask them about their day, you stop planning dates, and you go for weeks without ever texting, calling, or talking to them. You like to think you’re still happily committed to each other, but when you can’t even bother to keep in touch, you realize that’s not true anymore.
7. You don’t see the point anymore
A lot of the time, most people stay with the wrong person because they don’t want to throw away all the time and energy they’ve invested in their relationship. They put in so much effort to make the relationship work that they’re afraid to leave or feel obligated to stay, even when they’re no longer happy or in love. Second guessing your relationship, no longer enjoying spending time with your partner, and having awkward conversations and forced interactions with them are all signs that the two of you have grown apart.
8. They’ve stopped making an effort
Finally, if you are starting to sense that your partner has lost interest in your relationship, talk to them about it. Don’t stay with someone who can’t be bothered to put in any effort to keep you together. It can be a hard thing to come to terms with, when we realize that the person we love doesn’t love us back as much as we need or in the way that we want them to, but you deserve to be with someone who will fight to keep you around. You should be with someone who appreciates you, cares for you, and wants to keep you in their lives. Because if you’re the only one trying to make things work in your relationship, it will only ruin your self-esteem and break your heart in the end.
In the end, breaking up with someone you once cared so deeply about is always a difficult decision to make, but it’s entirely up to you. If you still find yourself at a crossroads, wondering whether or not letting go of this person is really the right choice, search your heart and be honest with yourself about how you feel.
Breakups are painful and scary, but ultimately, they’re for the best. They mold us into stronger and wiser people. And even though things between you and your partner may be ending, that doesn’t make the time and love you shared together any less special or meaningful.