Making friends can be difficult and keeping them can be even harder. Though some people may have an easier time doing both, not every person is so lucky. Every person has to learn to be aware of their actions and what they do to people at some point in their lives and learn from it in order to have friends. Maybe you just haven’t learned that yet.
Though you might not be sure what is preventing you from having friends, there is always time to learn and fix it! The fact that you are reading this shows that you are ready to take the next step. There are several reasons why you may not have friends. Looking for these in how you act can show you just what you need to do to get and keep friends.
1.You try too hard
Though you do need to put an effort in to make friends, there is such a thing as trying too hard. You may think that the only way you can make friends is if you try to appeal to everyone, even if they aren’t people you can actually relate to. Putting on a facade just to try and get people to like you is not a good way to try and make friends. The best way to make friends is to just be yourself and find people that like the same things as you. The best friends to have are the ones that accept who you are anyways.
2. You are too negative
If you may have a more pessimistic personality, you can still have friends. However, it can cross the line into too negative. If you are constantly complaining or thinking the worst of everything, it can bring the people around you down. Though it may be difficult to see things in a brighter light for some, it helps both you and the people around you. You will become more approachable and easier to be around, which will invite more people to want to get to know you.
3. You are selfish
Every person needs to care for themselves before they can truly care for others as well. There is also a balance that needs to happen between your needs and your friend’s needs as well. If you only seem to care about your own needs, people aren’t going to want to be around you. If you think you may be a bit more on the selfish side and want to change, try to take other’s needs into consideration as well. Try to do things for them that they would do for you.
4. You think you are above others
People like to be with people they feel comfortable with. Most people feel more comfortable when they are with familiar people who act similarly to them. If you act like you are on a different level than the people around you, they may not feel all that comfortable being with you. If you think this is something you need to work on, try to be a bit more down to Earth. In the end, we are all just humans, and human equals human.
5. You are insecure
Everyone has insecurities, regardless of what anyone may say. It becomes a problem when insecurity becomes your whole personality. Confidence is something that people gravitate towards, while insecurity is something people shy away from. Though it will take time, try to see the better parts of yourself and know that everyone has flaws.
6. You put your friends down
Some form of love is required in any friendship. If it isn’t present, then it’s not really a friendship. If you constantly drag the ones who love you down and never express how you care for them, they will leave. Being kind to the people around is much more appealing to others than picking on others. If you have a tendency to make people upset or say the wrong things, try to think before you speak. Make the people around you feel good, and in return they will be by your side.
7. You create drama
Most people have had to deal with drama in their lives, and the people who have had to know that it isn’t fun. Friendships most definitely aren’t conflict-free, but they shouldn’t be just all conflict either. If you are a person who tends to be the reason conflicts arise within friend groups, try to think of why that is. It may be a lack of thinking before you speak, wanting attention, or completely unintentional. Try to work on reducing the drama you bring about, and people will be more inclined to be your friend.
8. You need to get out more
Lastly, if you don’t try to make friends, they may not come to you. Most of the time you have to make an effort to get to know people in order for any friendship to start. Though you may be shy or worried about what others may think of you, take a risk and put yourself out there more. Talk to people in class, at work, or around your community. Who knows, maybe one of them could be your future best friend.
Overall, friendships require work. They need balance from all of the people involved in order to stay together. Just because you may have some of these issues and some things may be unbalanced doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it just means you have things to improve on, as does every human being. We know you can do it and wish you the best of luck in finding friends!
13, August, and Harini Natarajan. “17 Reasons You Don’t Have Any Friends.” STYLECRAZE, 13 Aug. 2019, www.stylecraze.com/articles/you-dont-have-any-friends/.
Morin, Amy. “11 Reasons Why You Don’t Have Many Friends.” Lifehack, Lifehack, 25 Nov. 2013, www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/11-reasons-why-you-dont-have-many-friends.html.