Finding a true friend is hard, that is no secret. We all yearn for a comedian to laugh with, a strong shoulder to cry on, and a locked box with whom you can confide your deepest secrets without judgment. Unconditional love and support may seem like a work of fairy tale fiction or yet another thing the movies have lied to us about. However, fear not, because deep, long-lasting friendship is quite possible. Never give up on looking for the Ann Perkins to your Leslie Knope or the Rory Gilmore to your Lorelai Gilmore. All you need to do is be aware of what makes someone a true friend so you can cherish and stay connected to them forever, which can be summarized to 8 main points. Whether you have a friend you’re wondering is true or are still looking for one, these points are sure to aid you along your journey!
1. They really listen to you
In a conversation, have you ever felt like the other person is simply waiting for you to finish talking so they can tell you all about what’s going on with them? A true friend will still talk about themselves to you because, after all, it’s perfectly fine to do so. However, they know when you need to be the one talking. They might offer their sympathies, advice, a shoulder to cry on, emotional support, or anything else they can. What a true friend doesn’t say is, “aw, that sucks, but wait until you hear about what happened to me,” or, “that’s not as bad as what I’m going through!”
2. They’re honest with you
Hearing the truth is sometimes painful. Whether it’s about something a friend doesn’t agree with you on or something that happened without you knowing, a true friend will tell you regardless. The way they’ll tell you varies depending on the person as some people are blunter vs subtler, but in the end, they will tell you. Even if it may be hard to hear, a true friend will know that you deserve to hear the truth.
3. They like you for who you are and respect your boundaries
While expanding your horizons and trying new things is a good thing, some friends may push you too far too fast. For example, one of your friends may not want to spend a quiet night in, so they might push you to go out to a party or gathering you don’t really want to go to. Opposites may attract, but a true friend won’t try to change you to their liking. They’ll respect what you want and don’t want and you a person overall. After all, each other’s comfort levels are one of the biggest things to consider in a friendship.
4. They genuinely support you
Some of us might have run into a “friend” who is secretly jealous of you. They may talk you out of doing things they do under the guise of helping you, or they might not truly be happy for you when good things happen to you. If someone is bringing you down when they should be lifting you up, chances are they aren’t really your friend. A true friend will unconditionally love and support you without thinking, “that should’ve been me.”
5. They’ll be there for you through both good and bad times
With some friends, it may seem like they’re only there when you’re having fun, and it’s convenient for them. That may be the case with some friends, but a true friend will support you even when it may not be convenient. They won’t make you feel bad or like a burden for needing help. Instead, they’ll shower you in love and support, which everyone needs from time to time.
6. They prioritize you and put effort into the friendship.
Many friendships fade away due to different life paths and obligations. For example, you could be best friends with someone in 10th grade who you share a school schedule with but come 11th grade when you end up with no classes together, you drift apart. This is especially the case during transition points in your life, such as a new grade level, school, or job. With a true friend, even when life may separate you, they’ll always make an effort to maintain the friendship and spend time with you.
7. They know and remember things about you
Obviously, no one is going to remember everything about you without a superhuman memory. However, a true friend will remember things about you and pick up on your little habits over time. It may even go deeper than little facts like your first pet’s name or that you secretly cheated in the fourth grade. Once your friendship grows, a true friend may know more things about you than you remember telling them!
8. They don’t take advantage of you
Sadly, some people may try to take advantage of you. It could be by keeping track of all the things they’ve done for you to guilt trip you with when they want something, or by pushing your niceness to its limit. We all want to be kind to our friends, but there is a stark difference between being nice and being taken advantage of. If you find yourself doing all the giving in a friendship and it’s taking a major drain on you, chances are you may need to reevaluate your friendship. A true friend will give back to and be mindful of you, and the friendship will have both an emotional and physical balance.
True friends are hard to come by. Especially in our world, where it may seem like everyone is trying to gain something from you instead of being a real friend. However, don’t lose hope because, like most things in life, finding true friends requires work and a little bit of luck. Once you do find one, your friendship is sure to flourish, and they’ll make your life unimaginably better. Just keep looking because perhaps a true friend is right around the corner!
Do you have any amazing friends worth noting? Leave a comment down below about them or a funny story with them in it if you’d like! Please feel free to share any experiences and thoughts you have as well!