English novelist and actress Jackie Collins once said, “Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board, no time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable, an event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.”
Falling in love is an intense, unexpected, and wildly unpredictable experience. And if you’ve ever been in love yourself, you know that her words couldn’t be any more true. But we tend to forget that the same can be said for other people as well, that some people might be falling in love with us already without us even realizing it. So what do we do?
Well, if you’ve fallen for someone special and are wondering if they feel the same way, or have a friend sending you subtle signs you want to be careful not to read too much into, here are 8 signs you need to look out for to make sense of it all:
1. They want to spend time with you.
Obviously, when someone’s caught feelings for you and things start to get more serious, they’ll always want to be around you and spend time with you. They will actively seek you out, maintain contact, and make plans with you. That means plenty of late night conversations, weekend dates, and coming to see you every chance they get. And it doesn’t even matter to them what you do, so long as you’re together. When someone just can’t seem to get enough of you, then you’ll know they’re head over heels in love with you (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1995).
2. They hang on every word you say.
Aside from always wanting to see you and spend time with you, another undeniable sign that someone has fallen for you is if they hang on every word you say (Marston, Hecht & Robers, 1987). They always want to talk to you and actively listen to you. They ask you a lot of questions, always wanting to know your thoughts and feelings, and they make sure to give you their full attention whenever you’re together.
3. They love to tell people about you.
If your partner is extraverted and outgoing, they probably find it hard to shut up to their friends about you, always wanting to talk about something you said or what you did together or how they feel about you. But even if they’re more private and reserved, they will probably still do the same with their trusted loved ones. Either way, if you catch them saying a lot of nice things about you even when you’re not around, then it means they really love you.
4. They show you extra care and attention.
Does your partner often surprise you with thoughtful little gifts or acts of service? Do they show you a lot of physical affection or leave you long texts and handwritten notes? No matter what their love language might be, if your significant other is showing you a lot more special care and attention than usual, then it means their feelings for you are deepening (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017). And hey, it’s not called a “love” language for nothing!
5. They’re quick to agree with you.
Psychology says that the more strongly and positively we feel about someone, the more we’ll want to put our best foot forward for them and make a good impression. And one of the most common (and often unconscious) ways we do this is by agreeing with them a lot. So if your partner is suddenly showing more interest in the things you like and being more open to trying new things with you, then this might be why (Colins, Cramer & Singleton-Jackson, 2005)!
6. They easily empathize with you.
Another tried-and-tested sign that someone is falling for you is if they easily empathize with you and are more attuned to your wants, needs, and feelings. That means when you feel sad, they will, too, in the same way that they will share your happiness, excitement, and so on. Their heightened empathy for you can also manifest as protectiveness (“You have to be more careful, I’m worried about you”) or loyalty (“I don’t like him/her/them anymore because of the way they treated you.”).
7. They prioritize you.
Ever notice how your friends tend to spend less time hanging out with you whenever they get into a new relationship? Well, the same goes for your partner, too! If you notice them spending more time with you than they do with their friends, rearranging their schedule to make time for you, or even cancelling their plans at the last minute just to be there for you when you need them, then it’s safe to say they care deeply about you and prioritize your feelings. You know, the way you do with the people you love? Yeah.
8. They want a future with you.
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, if your significant other sees a future with you, then that’s as clear a message as any that they’re in love with you. Even if they don’t outrightly say it, making plans far into the future with you, asking a lot of what if questions (like “What if we got a dog?” or “What if I moved to somewhere closer to your place?”), thinking more in terms of “us” and “we” instead of “I” and “me” — all of these things mean that they love making you a part of their life and that they see a bright and happy future ahead for your relationship (Madey, & Rodgers, 2009).
So, do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here? Did anyone in particular come to mind as you were reading this list? If there is someone in your life who you think might be falling in love with you — be it your new partner or a close friend — the best thing to do would be to assess your own feelings first before confronting them about theirs.
With that said, if you liked this article and want to read more about this topic, be sure to check out these articles next: 7 Differences Between Love and Being in Love, 8 Signs Your Relationship Will Last Forever, 7 Signs Your Crush Actually Likes You Back, and 7 Signs You’re Secretly Attractive.
- Bunt, S., & Hazelwood, Z. J. (2017). Walking the walk, talking the talk: Love languages, self‐regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 24(2), 280-290.
- Collins, K. A., Cramer, K. M., & Singleton-Jackson, J. A. (2005). Love Styles and Self-Silencing in Romantic Relationships. Guidance & Counselling, 20, 139-146.
- Hendrick, S.S. & Hendrick, C. (1995) `Gender Differences and Similarities in Sex and Love’, Personal Relationships 2: 55-65.
- Madey, S. F., & Rodgers, L. (2009). The Effect of Attachment and Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love on Relationship Satisfaction. Individual Differences Research, 7(2).
- Marston, P. J., Hecht, M. L., & Robers, T. (1987). True love ways’: The subjective experience and communication of romantic love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 4(4), 387-407.