8 Unspoken(But Important) Rules of Healthy Relationships

It’s no secret that maintaining a healthy relationship is challenging. It takes effort and time. You have to find the balance between establishing rules for your relationship and allowing space for changes to occur. 

Below are a few unspoken rules that can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship.

  • First, learn to love yourself 

We all give the love we have learned to accept. So, to love someone, you must first learn how to love yourself. When I first heard this idea, it seemed a bit silly. I was a romantic, and therefore I foolishly believed that you could love beyond your capacity. If you truly loved someone. 

But, most of us show love based on how we have received love. 

You have received love from parents, friends, and family members, and you reciprocate the love you have received. But, the most important love you can receive is from yourself. 

In loving yourself, you learn how to care about your well-being and how to demonstrate acts of love that are not obligatory or reciprocal. You learn to love for the sake of loving, and that is the kind of love you cultivate in a romantic relationship. 

  • Do not avoid red flags. 

When a relationship ends, people regret ignoring the red flags. They often lament themselves and say that they were too in love. You only ignore the red flags when you idealize the person you are with.

A red flag is nothing to be afraid of. It signals a possible obstacle that you and your partner need to overcome. Change your perspective about red flags and see them as opportunities to strengthen your relationship.

  • Have the uncomfortable conversations

Sometimes these red flags can lead you to uncomfortable situations. So, have difficult conversations. Talk things through and compromise. Do whatever you both need to do to confront the uncomfortable topic, but do it together. Sometimes, we turn to friends for advice. I am not saying that it is wrong to turn to a friend when you are having issues in your relationship, but always include your partner in the conversation. 

  • Acknowledge and support each other 

The beginning of a relationship is always great. You both are excited and enthusiastic. You both dote on each other and are incredibly supportive. But, as the years pass, those things start to fade. 

You no longer pay each other compliments or dote on each other. Relationships are supposed to be fun. So, think of bringing back that element into your relationship. 

  • Be loyal to each other.

Being loyal to your partner is a given in a healthy relationship. The reason loyalty is important is because it denotes trust. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. 

  • Keep your promises

Another unspoken rule for a healthy relationship is keeping your promises. Keeping your promises, both the ones you make to yourself and your partner, signals that you are committed and have a strong sense of responsibility. 

  • Be friends

Personally, romantic relationships that start as friendships are the best because there is already a foundation of trust, communication, and companionship. If you and your partner did not start off as friends, that is fine. You can still become friends while in a romantic relationship. It may help you both be more intimate and understanding of one another. 

Besides, you both should want to know about each other beyond just the romantic aspect. 

  • Always say good morning and good night.

Not only is it courteous, but saying good morning and good night to each other says that you are thinking of them. Sending a good morning or good night message even though you are busy, lets them know that you care. 


Hope these rules can help you create or maintain a healthy relationship!


Leaf, C. (2022). 3 Notes on Relationships. Instagram. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://www.instagram.com/p/CZcR53iuvs8/ 

Life ‘N’ Lesson. (2018, May 2). 10 unspoken relationship rules every couples must follow. Life ‘N’ Lesson. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://lifenlesson.com/unspoken-relationship-rules/ 

LOVEPANKY Staff. (2022, March 7). 19 signs of a taker in a relationship: Are you a taker or a giver? LovePanky. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/signs-of-a-taker-in-a-relationship 

Marano, H. E. (2014). The new rules of relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nation-wimps/201407/the-new-rules-relationships Marano, H. E. (2014). The new rules of relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nation-wimps/201407/the-new-rules-relationships 

Pace, R. (2020, October 20). 22 relationship rules for a happy union. Marriage Advice – Expert Marriage Tips & Advice. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/rules-for-a-healthy-relationship/ 

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