Is there someone special in your life right now? Are you hoping your flirtation with them turns into something more?
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with being brave enough to make a move on someone you like and putting yourself out there, there’s a special kind of thrill that comes with turning the tables on your crush and getting them to chase you instead. After all, doesn’t everyone fantasize about their crush confessing their love to them and asking them to be their boyfriend/girlfriend? It’s romantic, exciting, and oh so easy to do once you know you know all the right tips and tricks.
So without further ado, here are 8 foolproof ways you can keep your crush interested and make them go after you:
1. Show confidence.
Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have (Bale & Archer, 2013), so it’s important that you act confident around your crush to catch their attention. Hold your head up high, smile, and be friendly. Talk to them in an easy-going but charming manner. Don’t stutter or eat your words around them, but be careful not to overdo it either by acting boastful and standoffish. Know what a great catch you are and act like it! It won’t be long before you draw them in with the confidence you exude and they’ll be tripping over themselves to chase you.
2. Keep yourself busy.
Another great way to keep a guy/girl interested in you? Keep yourself busy and keep them out of your mind. Studies have shown that people are perceived to be more attractive when they’re popular, well-liked, and living exciting lives (Furman & Winkles, 2010). So stop making yourself so available so that, when they do spend time with you or talk to you, it’ll feel more special for both of you. Don’t just sit around and wait for them to make the first move – go out and get on with your life! Pursue your goals, spend time with your friends, and enjoy doing the things you love. Have plenty of fun without them and be sure to show them that your world certainly doesn’t stop when they’re not around. This will make you seem more interesting and fun to be around in their eyes.
3. Set your standards high.
Know your own worth and never settle for less than what you deserve, not even from your crush. Did they leave you on ‘read” and ignore you for the rest of the week? Don’t even bother replying. Did they cancel on you at the last minute for no good reason? Tell them it’s cool but don’t invite them to anything anymore. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind or call them out on their bad behavior. Once they see that you treat yourself with dignity and respect, they will do the same. Play hard to get and set your standards high if you really want to make your crush chase you (Sergios & Cody, 2016).
4. Keep an air of mystery.
Too many people make the mistake of being too open and easy to read. And sure, that kind of honesty and straightforwardness certainly has its charms. But if the chase is what you’re after, then keeping an air of mystery is key. Instead of being an open book and telling your crush all about yourself right away, let them get to know you little by little. Tell them just enough to pique their interest and keep them coming back for more. Surprise them with new layers of your personality each time you meet and you will seem so much more fascinating to them.
5. Let them initiate contact.
If you want your crush to be the one going after you instead of the other way around, always wait for them to make the first move. Let them ask for your number, send the first text/message, and invite you to hang out with them instead of doing it all yourself. This will make them enjoy the chase more and keep them on their toes. Wait for a few hours before responding and be careful not to make yourself look too available to them. Never act in a way that comes across as desperate or overeager, because that’s a huge turn-off for a lot of people.
6. Mind your appearance.
Although you might not think of yourself as a very attractive person, putting in a bit of effort into your appearance will make a world of difference, especially to anyone who’s looking. Why not dress up a little and try to look more presentable or eye-catching? Maybe put on a bit of makeup or do your hair differently. As long as you are highlighting all your best features (whether it’s your stunning eyes, your killer smile, or your enviable height) and making an effort to look your best, people are sure to notice and compliment you for it.
7. Flirt with other people.
Even when you’re already interested in someone, there’s no harm in having a little fun and flirting with other people you find attractive. In fact, it might even give your crush the incentive they need to finally go for it and ask you out. When you flirt with someone else and act interested in them, it sends a clear and powerful message. You’re letting your crush know that you’re not just going to sit and wait around for them forever, so they better make their move now. It’s a good trick to make them jealous and remind them just how desirable you really are (Fleischmann, Spitzberg, Andersen, & Roesch, 2005).
8. Be yourself.
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, always be your true and genuine self around your crush. Wow them with who you really are and be sure to let all the best parts of your personality shine through. Your unique sense of humor, your interesting opinions, your little quirks and mannerisms — all the things that make you so great! Because as tempting as it might be to change who you are just to make them like you more, it’s only going to hurt you in the end, because they won’t really be falling for you but for who you’re pretending to be. Besides, wouldn’t you rather be with someone who knows the real you and likes you just the way you are? You’re already such a wonderful, interesting person, and if your crush can’t see that then they’re not the right one for you.
Whether you’re tired of always being the one to take the lead, or you just want to be sure that the person you’re interested in really feels the same way, it’s always a lot of fun to get your crush to chase after you and show you just how much they want to be with you. We all want to feel appreciated and desired, especially by the people we love, but that goes both ways in a relationship.
So if your crush sends you all these signals telling you that they like you, be sure to respond in kind and show them interest. Or else they might feel discouraged and move on with someone else. Be considerate of their feelings but keep these tips and tricks in mind to keep your romance fun, fresh, and exciting.
- Bale, C., & Archer, J. (2013). Self-perceived attractiveness, romantic desirability and self-esteem: A mating sociometer perspective. Evolutionary Psychology, 11(1), 147470491301100107.
- Sergios, P., & Cody, J. (2016). Importance of physical attractiveness and social assertiveness skills in dating behavior and partner selection. Journal of Relationship Psychology, 12(2), 71-84.
- Feingold, A. (2010). Gender differences in effects of physical attractiveness on romantic attraction: A comparison across five research paradigms. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59(5), 981.
- Furman, W., & Winkles, J. K. (2010). Predicting romantic involvement, relationship cognitions, and relationship qualities from physical appearance, perceived norms, and relational styles regarding friends and parents. Journal of adolescence, 33(6), 827-836.
- Luo, S., & Zhang, G. (2009). What leads to romantic attraction: similarity, reciprocity, security, or beauty? Evidence from a Speed‐Dating Study. Journal of personality, 77(4), 933-964.
- Fleischmann, A. A., Spitzberg, B. H., Andersen, P. A., & Roesch, S. C. (2005). Tickling the monster: Jealousy induction and other mating strategies of young women. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22(1), 49-73.