Hello Psych2Goers! Hope you are well doing well and are ready for a new article. It comes as no surprise that human beings are complex. We spend our lot of our lives trying to understand human behaviour especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Sometimes, feelings can be obvious, other times, they may not be. This can make us question whether somebody has romantic feelings for us.
The age-old question is this: is this person flirting with me because they have feelings for me or are they simply being friendly? Knowing the subtle differences can save you the embarrassment. So how do we know when people are hiding their feelings?
This article is purely for educational purposes only and is not designed to suggest that if people do show these signs, that they have feelings for you. It is advised that you always talk to the person in question and discuss this to make sure that you are on the same page. If you feel like you cannot do this, then talk to somebody you trust to discuss your feelings.
With that in mind, here are 9 signs that somebody may be hiding their feelings for you.
1. They will pay you a lot of attention
Are they regularly inviting you out, calling and texting you, asking your friends about you?
If the answer is yes, then it appears that there is already a foundation relationship which has been established. The best indicator of a crush, love or attraction is attention. What a person does and how he or she acts around you explains everything you need to know. Remember to observe with your eyes and not just with your heart.
2. Their body language will be different around you.
Are they facing and leaning towards you when they talk to you? Are their gestures they open, relaxed, and welcoming?
You’ve probably heard before that the body doesn’t lie. So if you want to know how to tell if someone likes you or not, pay close attention to what this person’s body is telling you.
People who have relaxed and open body posture, generally this may show that the person is okay with being vulnerable around you and trusts you enough to let you into his or her comfort zone (How To Tell If Someone Likes You But Is Hiding It?, 2020) It can be a sign of trust, respect, and oftentimes even care. Just make sure that you don’t confuse romantic interest with shyness because shyness doesn’t necessarily indicate romantic attraction.
3. Pay attention to their eye contact and non-verbal communication.
Do you notice that they every look at you more often?
The next time you’re with the person in question, note how often they look at you. Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin found a correlation between eye contact and love. In his study, couples deeply in love look at one another 75% of the time while talking, while people engaged in conversation only look at each other about 30-60% of the time.
If he or she wants to leave a good, long-lasting impression by sounding enthusiastic, inquisitive, and jolly, it’s a dead giveaway that this person likes your company and cares about your impression of them. So try to figure out if he or she is putting in a lot of effort; if they are cheerful, smile frequently, and talk more than usual, this could be a sign that this person is into you.
4. They will do things to show that they care.
Do they text you or call you after you spend time together to make sure you got home safe? Do they ask about your friends about you? Do they offer to help you without you asking them first?
When someone takes an interest in your wellbeing, it may be another sign that they care about you are and how you are doing or feeling. It can be subtle things which could easily be confused with a caring friendship but if you find that they will go out of their way to check in with you, then it is possible that they have a crush on you or have feelings for you.
5. They may be overly curious about you.
Do you find them asking you questions about you and life? Do you find that they want to know more about you and what makes you who you are?
People who are trying to get to know others, may be hiding their feelings behind their burning curiosity. It might be so that they can communicate in your language and talk about the things you enjoy talking about. Asking you a lot of questions essentially intends to encourage you to talk about yourself and open up about your life. This is a basic human technique that most of us use on a daily basis, perhaps without even knowing. Just bear in mind that a person who likes you, will ask questions subliminally and often without awareness with the intention of developing more of a relationship with you.
6. They may offer you compliments and affection
Does he or she compliment your looks, clothing style, taste in music and so on? Do compliments mean anything at all?
Attitude plays a huge role in whether a person likes you or not when it comes to relationships, so pay close attention to how a person communicates to you. It is important to say that we should not assume that just because somebody compliments you, that means that they like you in a romantic way. However, it also doesn’t mean that if somebody doesn’t compliment you, that they aren’t into you or that they don’t like you. Some people just don’t know how to compliment or might not feel comfortable doing so.
However, if you notice that they are complimenting you excessively, that may be a sign that a person is interested in you because he or she wants them to make you feel good. This person wants you to like them and give him or her the validation that he or she craves. The person in question may be investing in you and wants you to feel secure and comfortable around him or her.
7. They may act unusual around you.
Have they ever stumbled over their words, become tense or nervous, tell awkward jokes or even pull away suddenly and unexpectedly?
These are actually counter-intuitive signs that someone likes you. Dating expert Matthew Hussey (howtogettheguy.com) states that people will act different around you than they do with other people. You may even notice that their energy levels will go up when they are around you!
According to research, behaviour changes is more common in men than women when they like someone. This is because male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings. The result can be some pretty weird behavior (in your eyes). So if you have ever seen a man behaving weirdly around, this is probably a result of his biology than him a person.
8. They may show off in front of you.
Do they try and stand out in a crowd when you are together?
Another way to tell if someone secretly likes you is to look at his or her behaviour. This could be down to two things; high ego or their feelings for you. To find out which it is, be aware of the way this person communicates to you.
Do you get the feeling that he or she is eyeing you for a positive reaction and is trying to impress you? Are you the only person he or she does this to? If yes, then the person may be interested wanting to get to know you romantically and share their feelings with you.
9. They will find excuses to spend time alone with you.
Do they ask to make plans with you where it is just you and them?
When somebody has feelings for somebody, it is a ‘no brainer’ that they would want to spend most of their time with you as this could present itself with romantic opportunities. They may suggest hanging out after school or ask for some help with work. So if you suspect that someone likes you and you like them back, set up a date. Invite them out and see what happens next. You’ll quickly understand how emotionally invested this person is in you and decide whether you want to pursue a relationship with them.
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed reading it and found it useful. It is important to remember that not all of these signs means that somebody is hiding feelings for you. There could be genuine friendship there and nothing more than that so if you feel like there is more there, then try and find out if you are on the same page 🙂 These are only a handful of signs and there are many more which may be individual to that person.
Hope you have a lovely weekend and watch this space for the next article.
7 Ways To Tell Someone Has Real Feelings For You, According To Experts. (n.d.). Bustle. Retrieved November 18, 2020, from https://www.bustle.com/p/7-ways-to-tell-someone-has-real-feelings-for-you-according-to-experts-18011486
Glassman, T. (n.d.). 5 sneaky signs that someone has a crush on you. Retrieved November 18, 2020, from Insider website: https://www.insider.com/signs-someone-has-a-crush-on-you-2018-2
How To Tell If Someone Likes You But Is Hiding It? (Zan, 2020). Magnet of Success. https://magnetofsuccess.com/how-to-tell-if-someone-likes-you-but-is-hiding-it/
Lusinski, N. (n.d.). 7 signs someone is in love with you — even if it doesn’t seem like it. Business Insider. Retrieved November 18, 2020, from https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-in-love-with-you-2018-4?r=US&IR=T